Coping With it All
by Anime4us
Summary: Miyuki has had all of the responsibilities of being the team captain, catcher and clean up batter dumped on his shoulders. Along with his school stressors, his father could not be any less supportive of his choices. Depression, strong Trigger warning MiyuSawa (Main) Kuramochi x Haruichi (side couple)
1. Chapter 1

**I am so attached to my Ace of Diamond characters that it'll probably grow into a health hazard.**

 **This is my first fic so do be patient with me.**

 **There is a big trigger warning that I want to announce. Miyuki's depression runs pretty deep so he turns to self harm.**

 **if this is trigger for you then I advise against reading**

 **If you do still continue to read, I appreciate the support,**

 **Please do not hesitate to send me reviews or simply message to chat (I love getting to know you guys!)**

 **you can find me on Instagram at Anime4us,**

 **Enjoy and thanks for reading!**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 1**

"MIYUKI KAZUYA."

Miyuki knew that obnoxious voice anywhere. A certain first year, soon to be a second year, was demanding his immediate attention. Kawakami straightened up from his post pitch stance.

"Ah, hello Sawamura." The second year pitcher offered with a small smile.

"Catch for me Miyuki!" Sawamura bellowed before coming to stop in front of the catcher.

"Ten pitches." Miyuki said before pushing himself up and stretching his legs.

Miyuki lifted the catcher's mask from his face, bringing his water bottle a mere inch from his lips before squirting the liquid into his mouth.

"Twenty-five!" Sawamura persisted.

"Five." Miyuki said before glancing at him sideways.

"That's backwards Miyuki Kazuya!" Sawamura yelled, clearly upset with the catcher's antics.

Miyuki didn't look amused.

"Miyuki or Kazuya, choose one." Miyuki said before sighing. "Never mind, I'm going to take a bath." He muttered.

"What?! You promised to catch my pitches!"

"Contrary to what you seem to believe, my world doesn't revolve around you, Sawamura." Miyuki stated before pulling off his protective chest gear.

"I-I-I'm going to be ace! You have to catch for me! I can't play baseball on my own..." Sawamura protested before frowning.

"Use the net." Miyuki replied icily before leaving the bullpen.

Sawamura was left to wonder what had crawled up and died in the catcher's ass.

0_0_0_0

The air was heavy as Miyuki made his way towards the vending machine to quench his thirst with a can of coffee.

"Kazuya."

The voice was filled with something along the lines of worry and malice.

"Yoichi?" Miyuki asked with a simple raise of his eyebrow.

"I donno what the issue is, but the first years are avoiding you like the plague. I'm not saying they're wrong to either, you've got this aura going about you." Kuramochi stated while folding his arms across his chest.

"Ah, thank you." Miyuki responded with his usual shit eating grin.

"I know Sawamura can be rather persistent at times." Kuramochi continued, ignoring his best friend's usual sarcastic retort. "But did you really have to be so cold to him? He's only asking you to catch for him because he looks up to you, you know?"

Miyuki sighed before pushing the coins in his hand into the machine and hitting the appropriate button for his drink.

"Is something bothering you?" Kuramochi pressed.

"What makes you ask?" Miyuki asked while forcing his usual smile to his face.

Kuramochi's brow twitched in annoyance.

"For the love of god..." he muttered before rolling his eyes. "Can't say I didn't try." He muttered before huffing and making his way from the vending machine.

Miyuki's eyes followed Kuramochi's back until he couldn't see it anymore. With a sigh he opened his can of coffee before bringing it to his lips.

He had been pretty harsh on the first year. Miyuki was indeed not happy about a certain something, but it had nothing to do with the first year, and so he didn't deserve his wrath.

 _I should apologize..._ He thought with another sigh.

While making his way back towards his dorm room, he was able to spot a figure that was running around the field, a trail of dust getting kicked up as he ran. A devilish smirk rose to Miyuki's lips as he tossed his empty can into the trash.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura continued to run, his trusty tire right behind him, as he tried to clear his mind.

 _Why was Miyuki so angry today? I know I was pushing it a bit... but nothing that he doesn't usually just laugh off or calls me stupid afterwards... Did I do something to make him upset?... How's our battery suppose to work if he hates me?  
_ Without realizing it Sawamura's pace had slacken at the upsetting thoughts.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when an arm slinked around his shoulders.

"TAKE ME BUT LEAVE MY TIRE!" He shrieked after jumping away.

His paranoia was quickly replaced with anger when he saw a certain second year catcher doubled over and laughing.

"You should have seen your face! 'Take me but leave my tire'?" Miyuki continued to laugh as the first year pitcher's face became redder and redder.

"You're such a twisted person!" Sawamura declared angrily.

"Thank you." Miyuki said as he stood back up, wiping at his eyes.

"It's not a complement you twisted catcher!" Sawamura bellowed.

Miyuki cocked his head before speaking again.

"Then I suppose I won't offer to head to the bullpen with you then." He said before shrugging nonchalantly.

"Ah! No! Catch my pitches Captain!" Sawamura demanded.

"Yea, Yea, go grab your gear, I'll be in the bullpen in ten minutes." Miyuki said before rolling his eyes, a small smile appearing on his face.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura smiled as the sound of his pitch hitting Miyuki's glove resonated through the bullpen.

"How was that?!" He asked excitedly.

"You're not throwing your arm down fully." Miyuki said while raising his brow.

Sawamura's smile faded slowly.

"I..'m sorry." He muttered softly.

Miyuki had a small smile on his face as he walked over to the sulking pitcher. He reached up and startled the pitcher by ruffling his sweat slicked, brown hair.

"It's only natural to get tired, especially after practice and all, don't get discouraged, partner." Miyuki said with his usual grin. "Get some rest and I'll think about catching for you again tomorrow. Make sure you wash properly."

"I know that! You will catch for me tomorrow Miyuki Kazuya! I am going to be the ace after all!" Sawamura declared before running off towards the baths again.

As Sawamura ran towards the baths, his smile faded into a small frown.

 _There's an air about Miyuki... It just seems... heavy..._

0_0_0_0

Miyuki chucked his catchers equipment into his sports bag before wiping his long sleeved arm across his forehead. He winced slightly as pain rippled through his throwing arm.

"Really now?" He muttered to himself before sighing. "It's your own damn fault Kazuya, don't think for a second that you regret it, because you just go do the same damn thing again when the going gets rough." He continued before zipping up his sports bag and shouldering it.

"What the hell are you doing muttering to yourself in the middle of the bullpen alone? Creepy." Kuramochi's voice came, scaring Miyuki out of his little rant.

Kuramochi had a towel around his shoulders, the fabric picking up on all the stray water dripping from his hair.

"Aren't you with little Kominato?" Miyuki asked, a smirk taking over his features.

"Wha?.." A small blush took over Kuramochi's face, causing the shortstop to turn away.

He coughed awkwardly before speaking again.

"I have no idea what you mean." Kuramochi said before turning back towards Miyuki with a glare.

"I can't wait for Ryosuke to find out." Miyuki replied with, a shit eating grin growing as Kuramochi paled.

"Kazuya... When's the last time you slept?" Kuramochi asked.

Kazuya hated that tone in the shortstop's voice.

 _Stop pitying me._

"I slept in class today." Miyuki said with a cheeky grin.

"The coach would kill you if he heard that."

"And Ryosuke would kill you if he knew that you had a crush on his little brother." Miyuki snickered.

"You're such high maintenance." Kuramochi stated before clenching his teeth.

 _I know._

"See you at practice tomorrow." Miyuki called cheerfully before heading back towards his empty dorm room.

0_0_0_0

It always seemed so ominous when Miyuki stepped foot in his empty room. It made him feel so... alone.

 _Hah... what a thought Kazuya..._

He reprimanded himself before flipping the switch on. He dropped his bag by his bed before collapsing face first into his pillow.

 _Practice game... tomorrow...gotta look over notes on the other team... Nabe took them for our benefit after all._

After contemplating the pros and the much longer list of cons for getting up, Miyuki changed out of his Seido uniform and focused on the notebook that Nabe had dropped off.

 _If I stay in my room... I'm going to be tempted to just sleep..._

He thought before sighing and heading out the door, keys in hand after having shut the lights off.

The cafeteria was quiet as he walked in. There were a few first years sitting in the corner. They all acknowledged him with a small nod before returning to their soft conversation.

Miyuki chose to pull the small TV out and study the notes along with a visual.

 _Raichi still has insane batting power, but he's not the only one we should worry about. Yakushi has many other experienced batters that shouldn't be forgotten._

Miyuki's eyes flashed from the screen to the notes Nabe had given him many times. Back and forth, comparing the notes with the evidence in front of him.

Eventually, he couldn't keep his eyes open, the television screen began to make them sting. Pulling his glasses off with an agitated sigh, Miyuki rubbed his eyes before standing.

 _Sleep is a thing Kazuya..._

He thought as he put the TV away and grabbed Nabe's note book.


	2. Chapter 2

**So,**

 **This fic is told from multiple view points, but there are four prominent ones: Miyuki's, Sawamura's, Kuramochi's and Haruichi's.**

 **There will be other points of view, though they are quite minuscule.**

 **The point of having multiple views is not to confuse you, in fact, it's to help you understand the story better.**

 **The different POVs will show you how certain characters are understanding what is happening and why certain things come about.**

 **Along with that, I do realize the Diamond no Ace is all about baseball, for the purpose of this fic, the games will not be my focus, You will get small snippets or parts where their practice comes up, because of course that is still a huge part of their everyday lives, but the emotional aspect of things and their off field experience is what most of this fic will hold.**

 **If this upsets you... Unfortunately I'm in charge and I want to write it this way :]**

 **This is just me trying to explain it all and that means the word count is sky rocketed for this chapter XD**

 **Thanks for reading**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 2**

Sawamura stood in the bullpen kicking at the dirt impatiently.

 _Where is that damned four-eyed demon?_

"Eijun, what's wrong?" A small mop of pink hair asked quietly.

"Miyuki is late! How am I suppose to practice my amazing pitches without the catcher?!" Sawamura asked.

"Uh.. I think Miyuki showed up late... Coach made him run some extra laps." Haruichi stated before taking a sip of his water.

"The captain was late? How hypocritical of him!" Sawamura continued to shout.

Haruichi rose a brow at his friend's use of a large word.

"Kuramochi wants to work on some defensive plays, so I'm heading over to the field, shouldn't you work on your fielding as well?" the pinklet asked.

"I think I'll wait for Miyuki to show up, I want to perfect a certain pitch!" Sawamura declared.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi glanced around the field, noticing right away that Miyuki wasn't there.

 _Is he sick?_

His lips pursed as he thought about Miyuki's state last night.

 _Something is eating at him but the damn idiot lets his goddamn pride stop him from reaching out._

Kuramochi jumped when someone spoke.

"Kuramochi?..." Haruichi asked timidly.

"Sorry, lost in thought, what did you say?" Kuramochi replied before focusing on his new second baseman.

 _Damn... I just had to fall for Ryosuke's little brother... Miyuki wasn't wrong when he said Ryosuke was going to kill me... So damn over protective..._

"I asked what you wanted to focus on right now." Haruichi said before offering a small smile that made the shortstop's stomach flip.

"Defensive plays." Kuramochi offered before looking towards the field.

"Ok, I'm just going to go grab my water bottle, I left it in the dugout." The pinklet said before turning away from the shortstop.

0_0_0_0

Morning came much too quickly for Miyuki. He was in such a blah mood that he couldn't force himself out of bed. Even as he reminded himself that Kataoka would make him run extra laps, his will power wasn't strong enough.

It took him a while to talk himself into getting up. The thought of Sawamura chiding him for not showing up being the result of his motivation.

While changing, Miyuki felt the bandaging on his throwing arm give away somewhat. With an unhappy sigh, he made his way to his dresser, pulling out a roll of bandages after having chucked his sweater onto his bed.

His facial expression was dark as he revealed the many jagged lines that covered his lower arms.

 _Why does it make me so upset? I did it to myself. If I hate it so much, why don't I just fucking stop?_

Miyuki knew deep down that it wasn't that easy. He began to wrap a brand new set of bandaging around his arm, throwing the old ones into the bottom of his baseball bag so that he could throw them directly into the dumpster outside of the dorms after practice.

After he was done, he changed into his practice uniform before making his way towards the field slowly.

Kataoka was definitely not impressed. Everyone but the captain of the team had shown up on time. Miyuki offered his apology as sincerely as he could muster before he was forced into running the extra laps he had foreseen.

0_0_0_0

"MIYUKI KAZUYA! You are late!" Sawamura shouted as the catcher made his way into the bullpen.

"Why didn't you go work on fielding?" Miyuki asked while raising a brow.

He knew both Furuya and Kawakami had decided that fielding practice was the plan today, if the ace was practicing his fielding than Sawamura should have been out there to.

"A certain four-eyed demon catcher promised me he would catch my pitches today!" Sawamura said, poking Miyuki in the chest.

"Ah, did he?" Miyuki asked as he put his catcher's equipment on.

Sawamura bent down to help him clip up his shin guards.

"As a matter of fact he did! He said he would catch at least a hundred pitches today!" Sawamura declared as he finished hooking up the second pad, earning a small thanks from Miyuki.

"Wow, this catcher of yours sounds amazing." Miyuki stated with a smirk.

"He can be." Sawamura said casually before shrugging.

Miyuki's smirk faltered for a second, his eyes widening slightly before he snapped back to reality. He slipped his arm around Sawamura's shoulders, normal shit-eating grin back on his face.

"You're just buttering me up so you can hog me all day aren't you?"

"I am going to be ace Miyuki! I need the first string catcher to catch my pitches!" The soon to be second year stated.

"Ah yes, yes." Miyuki said as he grabbed his mitt and made his way over to the make-shift plate.

"Just don't push yourself too far Mr. Ace wannabe, we have a game this afternoon." Miyuki stated before chuckling.

"I WILL BE ACE!" Sawamura bellowed.

Miyuki smirked before calling for a fastball. Sawamura's eyes blazed their golden color as he rose his leg impossibly high. As his foot slammed into the mound his arm whipped out, sending the baseball barrelling down and into Miyuki's mitt. With a smirk Miyuki stood and threw the ball back to Sawamura.

"Todaraki would have smashed that. Instant homerun." The catcher stated before chuckling.

Miyuki watched as the pitcher's anger rose about thirty notches before he forcibly calmed himself down.

"Then ask for something he won't hit!" Sawamura stated, determination set in his features.

"Yes, yes, that's a good boy, just follow my every sign." Miyuki stated before squatting back down.

He called for a low and inside pitch. Sawamura complied, sending the ball right into Miyuki's mitt.

"Nice pitch." The catcher stated, earning a grin from the pitcher.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi dove for a pitch, under handing it straight to Haruichi who hit the base before throwing a bullet to first.

"Nice play Kuramochi! Kominato!" Maezono called from first.

Haruichi had a small blush on his face as he smiled while Kuramochi smirked at how they were starting to get each other's habits down.

"You're a lot like Ryosuke." Kijima stated casually. "Except, Ryosuke would have had that at first a lot faster." The second basemen said casually before taking Haruichi's position in the rotation.

Kuramochi's brow twitched in annoyance, ready to speak up when Haruichi laughed.

"My brother left some pretty big shoes to fill for his height, eh?" He said before continuing his chuckling.

Kijima had expected the first year to shy away from the heavy criticism, but to his surprise, Haruichi had spoken up.

"I'll just have to work harder." The pinklet offered before smiling.

Kuramochi smiled at the boldness that Haruichi showed.

 _Don't back down, he's threatened by your talent._

0_0_0_0

Miyuki stood crouching at the plate, Sawamura glaring down the batter from Yakushi's team.

 _Alright Sawamura, third batter, score 2-0 Yakushi, fifth inning, count 2-1 give me a strike._

Sawamura nodded his head at Miyuki's sign before winding up.

0_0_0_0

The practice match ended 3-2 for Seido. Miyuki had managed to hit a homer with both Haruichi and Kuramochi on base in the bottom of the eighth. After both Sawamura and Furuya had done their best against the opposing team, Kawakami was then able to keep the Yakushi batters in check in the ninth, leading Seido to take the game.

Dinner had come around and the bespectacled catcher was nowhere to be found. Sawamura had a frown on his face as his eyes swept the cafeteria, looking for the second year who loved to tease him so much.

"What's wrong Eijun?" Haruichi asked from beside him.

"Miyuki's not here..." the pitcher muttered before continuing to eat.

"Maybe he's not hungry?" Haruichi offered before shrugging.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki had his toiletries in hand as he pulled the door to the baths open. Just as he had anticipated, the baths were empty. Everyone was either eating dinner, napping or working on homework and had already taken their much needed baths.

Glancing around for the millionth time, his paranoia getting the better of him, Miyuki began to strip his clothing. He glanced down at his arms, his nose rolling slightly.

 _If anyone saw these... they'd think I was a freak..._

He thought unhappily. He made his way towards the bathing area, toiletries clutched in his arms.

0_0_0_0

A knock brought him back to reality. He hadn't realized how hard he had been clutching the object in his hand until he heard the knock. He almost puked when it happened though.

 _What the fuck do I do? If I ignore it, they'll go away. Just ignore it Kazuya..._

"Don't ignore me Miyuki Kazuya!" Came an overly loud voice.

 _No... please... just, go away... Not right now..._

Miyuki was biting into his bottom lip so hard he broke skin. He hissed in pain before chucking the blade to the side.

 _What the fuck is wrong with me?!_

He was clenching his teeth so hard he was almost certain that they'd disintegrate.

"How rude!" Sawamura persisted angrily.

 _I can't, not him._

Miyuki grabbed the bloody rag that had been beside him and pressed it to the freshly marred skin of his lower catching arm. He'd been so put off from the knock that he'd momentarily forgotten about the blood pooling on his arm. Pressing the cloth against his arm, he silently cursed himself for letting the blood drip onto the wooden floors that decorated his dorm room.

"Miyuki?..." Sawamura murmured, worried lacing his voice.

"Stop pitying me!" Miyuki regretted the words as soon as they had left his lips.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura had decided that after dinner, he would go visit the catcher.

 _Something's off about Miyuki. He still smiles... still teases me... but he seems... broken?_

The thought of the ever so perfect catcher being broken disturbed him.

 _He's smart, an amazing catcher, not to mention batter. Well... It may take having people on base but hey, one flaw had to surface at some point. He managed to bring me where I am today, not to mention he's attractive._

Sawamura's eyes flew open, his strides stopping as he realized what he had thought.

 _Did I just call Miyuki... Attractive?!_

His whole face just engulfed with a blush as he continued his strides towards the catcher's dorm room.

He knocked once, waiting for the captain to pull the door open. A long thirty seconds of silence filled the air before he spoke.

"Don't ignore me Miyuki Kazuya!"

There was nothing but silence that filled the air once more.

"How rude!" He added with a huff.

He was about to leave when he heard some shuffling from inside Miyuki's room.

"Miyuki?..." Sawamura asked, his voice holding how lost he was.

Why hadn't Miyuki simply answered the door when he'd knocked previously?

"Stop pitying me!" Came Miyuki's voice.

Sawamura's eyes widened with surprise.

 _Pity? Where?!_

Sawamura pounded on the door with his fist.

"Let me in Miyuki!" He demanded.

"I'm busy Sawamura."

"I have to ask you something." The pitcher persisted.

He didn't know what, but something was very wrong.

"Ask me through the door."

"Miyuki..."

"Im not getting up from bed Sawamura."

Miyuki's voice was controlled once more, not holding any of the annoyance and brokenness he'd heard mere seconds ago.

"Are you ok?..." The first year whispered.

"I didn't get that." Miyuki said.

"I said, I didn't see you downstairs for dinner." Sawamura said quickly, small blush covering his face again.

"Oh yea, I was doing homework, Kuramochi came by with food before, I'm good."

Sawamura sighed before pushing away from the door.

"Don't be late for practice tomorrow."

"Hah! My junior is looking out for me tonight." Miyuki stated, laughter leaking through the door. "Don't worry, I will be catching for the ace tomorrow, so even if I'm late, it won't affect you any."

Sawamura felt anger boiling.

"Whatever you evil, four-eyed demon catcher!" He stated before storming off.

0_0_0_0

"What's Miyuki up to?" Kuramochi asked as Sawamura walked into the room.

"Who cares?!" Sawamura huffed before getting into bed.

Kuramochi rose a brow before pushing up from in front of the gaming consul.

"I'm going to go swing for a bit." He stated before grabbing his bat.

"Is Haruichi going with you?" Sawamura asked casually, his anger dissipating.

"Why do you ask?" Kuramochi asked, brows raising once more.

"Just wondering." Sawamura said while shrugging.

He made his way over to the desk to pull out some homework.

"I heard you brought Miyuki dinner. That was nice of you." Sawamura said as Kuramochi pulled their dorm room's door open.

 _Huh? When did I?... Dammit Kazuya... What the fuck is going on?_

"Yea, can't have the captain getting sick because he forgets to eat." Kuramochi offered, giving the best nonchalant shrug he could offer.

 _You need to get your shit together Kazuya, I won't lie for you forever._


	3. Chapter 3

**Ah Chapter 3 already.**

 **Something else that I want to bring to your attention,**

 **This fanfic may have certain parts of the anime in it, but it will not follow the manga/anime story line.**

 **Of course, certain aspects will come with it.**

 **Enjoy and dont forget to review!**

 **Thanks as always!**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 3**

 **Chapter 3**

Miyuki was poking at his food with a fork in the early morning hours when Kuramochi set a tray down in front of him.

"You have some explaining to do." The shortstop stated as he sat in front of his captain.

A sigh left the clean-up batter's lips.

"I brought you dinner? Please Kazuya, that's bullshit if I've ever heard it."

"Sawamura was pestering me." Miyuki stated tiredly.

"You're his bloody catcher, it's basically your job to babysit him." Kuramochi stated before rolling his eyes.

"Great, why don't you just add more to my goddamn plate?" Miyuki muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"I didn't think I'd have kids at this age." The catcher responded before laughing.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura ran along the field, the early morning sun making him squint somewhat as he forced his trusty tire to follow him at a quick pace. Furuya was right beside him, another tire attached to his waist. The pitchers had long since agreed to running together as a warm up in the morning.

"Breakfast?" Sawamura asked as he slowed his pace.

Furuya merely nodded before running his sleeve over his forehead.

0_0_0_0

Haruichi waved as both Furuya and Sawamura walked into the cafeteria. Sawamura waved back while Furuya simply nodded his acknowledgement.

The two pitchers grabbed their meals and made their way towards where Haruichi was seated.

"Morning Eijun, Furuya." The pinklet offered with a soft smile.

"Good morning Haruicchi!" Sawamura said, much too loudly for the morning, before he started to wolf down his breakfast.

"Morning." Furuya murmured before eating his meal in a much more polite manner.

"How did batting practice go last night?" Sawamura asked casually.

"How did you know I was batting last night?" Haruichi asked while cocking his head slightly.

"Kuramochi said he was going to swing for a bit." Sawamura said while shrugging.

Haruichi was too busy hiding his blush while Sawamura was too busy eating to notice Furuya tense slightly.

0_0_0_0

Furuya's breakfast had started to taste pretty bland as he listened to Haruichi and Sawamura speak. He didn't understand why the food that he held in his hands had started to taste so bleak, nor did he understand why he was gripping his bowl so tightly.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki's glove hand stung slightly from the monster first year's pitches.

"Take it easy Furuya, don't burn out with the first couple of pitches."

He earned a nod from the pitcher before he squatted back down. Furuya winded up once more, arm flinging down before the ball was sent hurtling towards Miyuki.

The second year catcher's eyes widened as the ball was heading for over his head. He reached up with his glove, snow coning the ball before landing back on his feet. The whole bullpen had stopped what they were doing to look towards Miyuki and then Furuya.

"Sorry Miyuki, it slipped." Furuya apologized, his gaze trailed on his throwing hand.

Miyuki felt a certain gaze burning into his back as he straightened up. With a glance over his shoulder, sure enough, Sawamura was glaring at him from the other end of the bullpen.

 _What the hell's his problem?..._

Miyuki shook his head before looking back towards Furuya.

"Go grab some water."

Furuya frowned but nodded nonetheless.

0_0_0_0

"Did Miyuki hurt his wrist during the practice game?"

Kuramochi looked up from his homework with a questioning look.

"Not that I can remember, why?" The shortstop stated before looking back down at his papers.

"I thought I saw bandaging around his catching wrist." Sawamura said before shrugging.

Kuramochi set his pen down before looking towards Sawamura's bunk.

 _You don't think he'd?... Nah, Miyuki wouldn't resort to that, he knows that we're here if he needs us. He knows we're here... right?_

0_0_0_0

Miyuki was working on an English essay when he heard knocking at his dorm room.

"I'm not catching for you tonight Sawamura, I actually want to pass my classes this year unlike a certain baseball idiot." Miyuki joked as he set his laptop aside and stood, making his way to the door.

As he pulled the door open, he was faced with the team's second basemen.

"Ah, hey..." Haruichi said softly.

It wasn't hard for Miyuki to pick up on the pinklet's nervous antics.

"What can I help you with Kominato?" The captain asked, stepping aside to let the short boy in.

Haruichi smiled appreciatively before stepping into the captain's room.

"Um... Eijun asked me a question today. I just wanted to run it by you."

Miyuki waited for Haruichi to continue to speak as he closed the door and sat on his bed. Haruichi decided to sit in the captain's desk chair.

"You're left wrist, did you hurt it in the match against Yakushi?" Haruichi asked.

Miyuki's eyes widened a fraction before his hand instinctively reached for the wrist in question.

"Nope." He said, the smile he forced to his face not convincing the little pinklet.

 _Shit. Shit. Shit. Why the fuck is that dense idiot picking up on this now?!_

Haruichi cocked his head slightly, silently questioning Miyuki on what he had done.

"I ended up tripping while climbing up the steps to the second year's floor." The captain said before forcing laughter to leave his lips when in reality, he wanted to climb into a dark hole and be swallowed up.

"Did you now?..." Haruichi murmured, not believing the captain for a second.

 _When did they even manage to?... The bullpen?!_

"Alright!" Haruichi said as he pushed himself up from the desk chair. "I just figured that I should check on you, like you would check on any of us, good night."

Miyuki watched as Haruichi pulled the door closed behind him before he ran over towards his trash can in the corner of his room.

 _Dinner doesn't taste as good coming up than it had when it went down._

0_0_0_0

The next morning proved to be just as much a hassle as most. Miyuki shuffled around his room like the dead, wanting nothing more than to crawl into his closet and pull the door closed behind him.

Class managed to bore him more than usual that morning, not gaining a single percentage of his concentration. Instead, his eyes were pinned on the trees that blew with the breeze just outside the window. When lunch came around, Kuramochi sat on his chair backwards and leaned his head on his arms.

"So, did you manage to go over the data Nabe put together after the game against Yakushi?" The shortstop asked.

His brow twitched with annoyance when Miyuki didn't answer him.

"Kazuya." He said, snapping the catcher out of his daydream.

"What?"

"The data that Nabe got you?..." Kuramochi asked while raising a brow.

"What about it?" Miyuki asked casually.

"Did you not sleep again?" The shortstop asked with a sigh.

"I'm fine Yoichi." Miyuki murmured before sighing.

"I'm gonna talk to the coach about letting you take a week off." Kuramochi stated off handily.

"Yea, that'll work well. The captain isn't showing up to practice for a week because he's tired." Miyuki said before rolling his eyes.

"That's not the only thing Kazuya." Kuramochi stated with a huff.

"You're starting to act like doting parent Yoichi." Miyuki remarked with his trademark smirk.

"God knows you need it." Kuramochi stated with a sigh.

 _That one stung a bit._

Miyuki's mother had passed away ten or so years ago. His father had indulged in work to deal with the grief, potentially forgetting that he had a son to begin with.

Miyuki had found his salvation when baseball was introduced to him, and now here he was.

"What happened to your wrist Kazuya?" Kuramochi asked in a whisper.

 _Dammit..._

"I fell up the stairs." Miyuki stated while laughing.

"Kominato might buy that excuse, but I'm sincerely hoping you don't think you can feed that crap to me." The shortstop stated before leveling Miyuki with a harsh glare. "I'm your best friend and vice captain Kazuya, you can rely on me when you need to."

Miyuki's forced laughter died in his throat.

 _This isn't something I can burden you with Yoichi... This is my problem..._

"I'm actually serious..." Miyuki said as he brushed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I'm only glad that no one was around to see that, especially the third years." He stated before laughing.

 _0_0_0_0_

 _So you're going to feed me the same bullshit you fed Kominato eh?... If you don't trust me Kazuya, who will you trust? You must have someone right? Someone you can turn to and talk to without the feeling that they will ridicule you. Stop forcing yourself to keep all those emotions inside... You're a bloody Masochist... but you need help and we're always here for you._

0_0_0_0

Miyuki was pulling his face mask down as Furuya made his way towards the makeshift pitcher's mound in the bullpen. A quick glance to the side showed Sawamura pitching with Ono while Kawakami worked with the net for the time being.

"If you throw over my head I'm going to make you run laps during practice for a week without touching the ball." Miyuki stated, his gaze sharpening on Furuya.

The first year hesitated slightly before nodding. He let Miyuki show him a sign before he began to wind up. The ball flew towards Miyuki, high, though he didn't have to stand up to catch it.

"You're shoulders are tense! Throw your arm all the way down!" The captain demanded.

Furuya had a frown on his face as Miyuki threw the ball back at him before he nodded.

The next ball was thrown into the dirt. Miyuki's eyebrow twitched with annoyance.

"Are you even looking at my glove?" He asked. "How do you expect to be the bloody ace if you can't even throw to my glove?" He demanded.

"I..." Furuya's eyes lost the shine they usually had when he pitched.

"Try again!" Miyuki demanded before squatting back down and simply putting his mitt up, no sign at all.

Furuya took a breath before starting his wind up.

0_0_0_0

"Don't you think Miyuki's a little more tense than usual?" Haruichi murmured as he and Sawamura finished up with putting the equipment away.

The whole team should have been busy getting dinner at this point.

"Now that you mention it, he was pretty hard on Furuya today." Sawamura stated before shaking his head.

"Really?" Haruichi asked with a frown.

"Yea, you could cut the air with a knife between those two. I don't blame Furuya of course... Miyuki was literally up his ass after every pitch... I doubt he was even enjoying pitching at that point..." Sawamura stated before frowning.

 _Is he stressed from the conversation that we had last night? I knew he was hiding something... But is it really this bad Miyuki?..._

"And here I thought you'd be the first one to take advantage of a situation like this." Haruichi stated before chuckling.

"What is that suppose to mean?!" Sawamura asked, offended by his best friend's words.

"Something along the lines of 'Now that Furuya is out of the picture, I will become ace and Miyuki will have to catch my pitches!' or something like that." Haruichi said, mimicking Sawamura's voice.

"Of course not Haruicchi!" Sawamura bellowed. "I will become ace on fair terms! Besides, Miyuki is Furuya's problem at this point, I'd rather not get yelled at if I can help it." He continued before he pushed the bathing area's doors open.

"If you say so..." Haruichi stated as he followed his energetic friend into the building.

0_0_0_0

"Of course not Haruicchi! I will become ace on fair terms!"

A certain second year tensed, shirt pulled halfway up.

"Besides, Miyuki is Furuya's problem at this point, I'd rather not get yelled at if I can help it."

Miyuki's eyes widened as the two first years stepped into the bathing area.

 _It's dinner time! Why are you here?!_

In a fluid movement, he let the shirt fall back over his stomach and reached for his glasses.

"Good evening Miyuki." Haruichi stated, having spotted the catcher after a minute or so.

"Kominato." Miyuki stated along with a terse nod of acknowledgement.

Haruichi frowned before glancing at Sawamura. Miyuki had tensed up so far the pinklet wondered if he could move at this point.

"What is it?" Miyuki asked, his gaze on Sawamura.

"Your wrist. I wanna know what happened." The first year pitcher asked, determination lacing his words.

 _Fuck... abort, abort..._

"Nothing is wrong." Miyuki said, forcing a casual smile to his face.

"So you're going to lie to me to, partner?" Sawamura said before locking a fierce gaze with a stunned Miyuki.

Haruichi was feeling very awkward with the thick atmosphere.

 _Don't pull that partner shit with me._

Miyuki's teeth clenched.

"Why the hell do you care? You didn't care last year!" He growled before grabbing his toiletries and making his way towards the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**So, apparently the world is against me when I try to put spacers lol.**

 **I'm going to continue to try new things so bare with the random spaces of my attempts at showing different views.**

 **Thanks for reading!  
Anime4us **

**Chapter 4**

Sawamura glanced at Haruichi as Miyuki threw the door open. Haruichi nodded in understand before the first year pitcher took off after his catcher.

"Miyuki!" He called out as he threw the bathing house's door open to follow the other.

"Don't follow me you idiot!" Miyuki called back as he made his way towards his room. His pace was reduced to a fast paced walk as he tried to look normal.

 _Slow down you damn four-eyes!_

Sawamura didn't care if people thought of him as an idiot. It wasn't hard for him to catch up to Miyuki. Out of instinct, he reached and grabbed the catcher's wrist to stop him from continuing away from him.

His eyes widened when Miyuki winced. There was a second of confusion before Miyuki wrenched his wrist from the first years grasp.

"Don't touch me!" The catcher growled as he hugged his wrist to his chest, fierce glare behind his glasses.

Sawamura's eyes widened at Miyuki's cold look. He'd never seen the catcher so angry, not even when he'd accidently insulted Chris in from of him. His arms reached towards the catcher before he could stop himself. Right in front of Miyuki's room, open for anyone to see if they should happen to turn the corner at this moment, Sawamura had wrapped his arms around a certain catcher.

Miyuki's eyes had widened, his whole body tensing up at the touch.

"Hey Miyuki, what's the point of calling yourself my partner if you won't even talk to me?" Sawamura murmured.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki inwardly hissed when Sawamura grabbed his wrist.

 _Fuck you too karma._

"Don't touch me!" he growled, letting the anger overtake him for a second.

He almost flinched when the look of hurt and fear crossed the first year's eyes, he didn't want to be the cause of that.

The second Sawamura's arms began to raise, Miyuki's mind rose warning flags.

 _What is this idiot doing?!_

When he felt arms wrap around him his whole body tensed with surprise and a slight tinge of fear.

 _Why are you hugging me?! Don't pity me! That's what you're doing! Stop it!_

Miyuki's mind whirled with these thoughts, working him up further and further until he began to struggle slightly.

"Hey Miyuki," The pitcher began, grabbing his attention. "What's the point in calling yourself my partner if you won't even talk to me?"

All thoughts of struggle seemed to face away, the catcher's eyes widening yet again for the umpteenth time in a minute or so.

"I'm an idiot... I can't guess what's wrong if you don't tell me..." The pitcher continued, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

 _What?_

Sawamura squeezed him slightly before pulling back.

"I want to help you, but I don't know what to do... I don't even know what the problem is..." He muttered before letting his arms drop.

Miyuki felt himself missing their warmth.

 _Stupid Kazuya, focus!_

Sawamura looked up at him expectantly.

 _What the fuck do you want me to say?!_

Miyuki turned away from his first year pitcher.

"Maybe you don't trust me then." Sawamura said before laughing awkwardly.

Miyuki could tell he'd managed to somehow hurt the pitcher.

 _Add it to the list of other shit I manage to fuck up._

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi stood by the field, arms folded and balanced on the fence. A certain short pinklet stood next to him, back on the fence as he gazed at the clouds.

"How unusual for you to seek me out Yoichi."

"Is it really?" Kuramochi asked with a raised brow.

"We've barely spoken since the last game we played together."

"Blame it on practice." Kuramochi stated before shrugging.

"Is this you saying your last goodbye before I graduate?" The short boy stated before chuckling.

"Something like that." The shortstop stated before glancing at the boy beside him.

"I think I know what you have to say Yoichi."

"You were always good at that Ryosuke."

"You have a thing for Haruichi." The previous second baseman stated matter of factly.

Kuramochi's face darkened in a blush before he focused on the field, causing Ryosuke to chuckle.

"How pathetic." Seido's prior second basemen muttered before shaking his head, smirk on his lips.

Kuramochi's head snapped towards the short, pink haired boy, glare in place.

"Excuse me?" He demanded, annoyance, hurt and anger seeping into his tone.

"How pathetic is it that I've managed to lose a love interest to the kid that has followed me everywhere since we were little?" Ryosuke stated before chuckling bemusedly.

Kuramochi could only widen his eyes in disbelief at the prior second baseman's confession

"You better not hurt him Yoichi." Ryosuke warned. "I can deal with heart break, but him, he's more tangible to that stuff."

Kuramochi frowned slightly at Ryosuke's nonchalance.

"Maybe college will hold more possibilities for me, who knows?" Ryosuke said before shrugging.

0_0_0_0

Haruichi watched as Sawamura made his way towards the bathing house; He'd finished washing ages ago.

 _I wonder if he got through to him?_

His gaze was then drawn to a certain shortstop who seemed to be thinking about something. Haruichi didn't even realize he was smiling until the shortstop glanced up at him and rose a brow.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked, a ghost of a smile on his lips as well.

"Am I?" Haruichi asked before blushing slightly.

"Let's have a gaming tournament, I feel like I can beat you today." Kuramochi stated before smirking mischievously.

Haruichi rolled his eyes before following after the shortstop.

 _I'll ask him what was bothering him later._

 _0_0_0_0_

 _I kinda feel like a dick... I wonder why I never noticed?... And I always tell Sawamura how much of a dense idiot he is... What the hell is wrong with me?... We played together for a full two seasons... I should have known... at least notice that something was off..._

Glancing up from his thoughts, Kuramochi was able to spot Haruichi, smiling down at him. He suppressed the blush that threatened to take over his cheeks, along with the warm coil of his stomach as he made his way over towards the second baseman.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked casually, brow raised as he waited for the pinklet's answer.

"Am I?" Haruichi asked before a blush consumed his facial features.

 _Are you happy to see me? One can hope can't eh?_

"Let's have a gaming tournament, I feel like I can beat you today."

 _I need some company, I don't feel like being alone right now. If it takes you smothering me in the damn video game, so be it._

He offered Haruichi a small smile as the second base followed after him.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki swung the bat as the ball came hurtling towards him. His teeth clenched as he made contact, smashing the ball back towards the machine.

 _Hey Miyuki, what's the point in calling yourself my partner if you won't even talk to me?_

Another swing, another ball sent flying into the air.

 _I'm an idiot... I can't guess what's wrong if you don't tell me..._

Another ball gone with the wind.

 _I want to help you, but I don't know what to do... I don't even know what the problem is..._

A swing and he missed.

 _Maybe you don't trust me then..._

The machine sent a ball hurtling by, but Miyuki didn't even flinch.

 _I don't want you to have to shoulder my pain Sawamura... You don't deserve that... I'm my own mess... You're the light that guides the team... I don't want to be the reason that that light fades._

0_0_0_0

Sawamura lay on the ground in the middle of the field, staring at the stars. His tire lay by his side, sharing this moment of tranquil and serenity.

 _Who am I kidding? Relaxing? What the hell is wrong with Miyuki?!_

The southpaw sighed audibly.

"I don't understand!" He yelled up at the sky.

"That's normal, you don't usually understand much."

Sawamura bolted up and glared at the voice.

"Miyuki Kazuya!" He yelled, gritting his teeth.

"Choose one, idiot." Miyuki muttered before lying on the ground beside him, eyes trailed on the stars.

Sawamura glanced at the catcher with a questionative look before lying back down.

"Do you usually come here late at night?" Miyuki asked casually.

"Looking up at the sky helps me think." Sawamura indulged, a small blush of embarrassment dusting his cheeks.

"The stars are nice, I guess." Came the catcher's voice.

"They're nicer back in Nagano." Sawamura stated.

"The country always has nicer scenery. I've always wanted to contrast it with the city." Miyuki said before Sawamura felt him shrug.

"You've never been out of the city?!" The southpaw asked with incredibility written in his features.

"I might have gone on a field trip when I was younger, I can't really remember though."

"You should come to Nagano next time I go!" Sawamura said before sitting up with a grin. "I'm always telling my folks about you. My mum's been dying to meet you." He said before smiling. "Let's ask the coach for the weekend off."

Miyuki sat up, cocking his head in Sawamura's direction. A soft tinge of pink took over the catcher's ears before he turned away.

"You want to take me home with you?" Miyuki asked, his gaze trailed on the ground.

"Eh? Yea, I wanna show you the stars!" Sawamura said before smiling extremely wide.


	5. Chapter 5

**I've found a way to space :D honestly, these documents are jut hating on** **squiggly lines like _**

 **Anyways,**

 **0_0_0_0 - my spacer. aka I'm always watching you _**

 **Jk XD**

 **Enjoy the chapter guys!**

 **Thanks for all the reviews**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 5**

The train to Nagano arrived at the station just as Sawamura and Miyuki ran up.

"I told you that we needed to go early!" The pitcher stated as they got on the train, panting.

"You kept going back for something. I was pretty sure Yoichi was gonna kill you if you opened the door one more time." Miyuki stated before sitting on the train bench.

"Whatever." Sawamura pouted before sitting next to the catcher.

Time elapsed and eventually the southpaw felt a weight on his shoulder. Glancing to the side, he rose a brow at seeing that Miyuki had fallen asleep. Upon closer inspection, Sawamura could see the bags that Miyuki's glasses usually hid.

 _You should take it easy on this trip Miyuki. Maybe it can be therapeutic?..._

Sawamura smiled softly as the catcher caught up on some much needed rest.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki could feel anxiety rising in himself as he walked up the path that led to Sawamura's front door.

 _What if they don't like me? What if they disapprove of Sawamura bringing me over? What do I do if-_

"Miyuki! Ah, Eijun has told us so much about you!"

A pair of tiny arms wrapped around Miyuki's waist, starling him out of his thoughts.

"Mom!" Sawamura yelled, embarrassment leaking into his tone.

"Oh hush, the poor thing looked like he needed a hug." Sawamura's mother stated before giggling.

Miyuki, still looking rather stunned, was saved when Sawamura stepped in front of him.

"You're freaking him out, he hasn't even walked through the door yet." The boy whined before grabbing Miyuki's hand and dragging him passed his giggling mother and up to his room.

Miyuki had remained unusually silent as they made their way through the halls.

"Sorry, she's... somewhat psychic at reading people's moods. Apparently that's why I'm so sensitive to people's mood changes I guess."

 _Duly noted._

"It was... Kinda nice though." Miyuki stated, small smile on his lips as he set his bag down.

Sawamura glanced over at the catcher with a smile of his own.

"So, where am I sleeping?" Miyuki asked, raising a brow at the single bed in the room.

"You can have the bed, I'll grab the blow up mattress." Sawamura stated with a shrug.

 _Showing your elder respect are we Sawamura?_

"I'm a guest, I'll sleep on the blow up mattress." Miyuki stated.

"It's fine, Miyuki, really." Sawamura said as he pulled the mattress out of his closet.

"Eijun, Miyuki, lunch!" Came a singsong voice.

Miyuki looked towards the stairs, a strange warm feeling settling in his stomach.

"Mum's cooking is the best." Sawamura said before heading towards the door.

0_0_0_0

"So... Miyuki went to Nagano... With Eijun?..." The pinklet reaffirmed with the shortstop for the umpteenth time.

"For the millionth time, yes." Kuramochi stated before rolling his eyes.

"It just seems... so unreal." Haruichi said before cocking his head.

 _When will Kazuya just admit he likes the damn brat?!_

Kuramochi was shocked when Sawamura had told him about the trip, though, at the same time, he was happy that Miyuki was getting away from it all.

 _Maybe this is what he needs._

Haruichi shrugged, snapping Kuramochi out of his endeavor.

"Did you want to play another round?" The second baseman asked.

"You won't win this one Kominato." Kuramochi stated with an evil grin.

"You say that every round Kuramochi."

"I mean it this time." The shortstop stated.

0_0_0_0

Haruichi glanced to the side, watching as Kuramochi chewed on his lower lip in concentration. Just like in every other round of the fighter game that they had played, the pinklet was winning. Though, his eyes were drawn to the shortstop's lips for a moment too long and his character was sent flying.

 _Ah! I need to focus!_

He didn't miss the smirk that crossed Kuramochi's lips as he gained the upper hand in the fight.

Miyuki was speaking amicably with Sawamura's mother as Sawamura's occupied himself with cleaning the dishes that they had used for lunch. He set the last dish in the dish rack to dry before he dried his hands.

Miyuki was laughing at a joke his mother had said, his amber like eyes scrunching together as he laughed.

 _Partner, huh?_

Miyuki glanced in his direction, cocking his head in question. Sawamura simply smiled before heading towards them, wanting to join in on the happy atmosphere.

0_0_0_0

"I donno Miyuki, you were getting realllllly close to my mum down there." Sawamura chided with a smirk.

"I was being polite Sawamura, something you should definitely look into." The catcher stated before smirking.

"She calls you Kazuya." Sawamura countered.

"That's my given name." Miyuki stated before raising a brow.

"Wow... I had no idea." Sawamura said with fake awe before rolling his eyes at the catcher.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous." Miyuki said before showing his ever so famous shit eating grin.

"E-excuse me?!" The southpaw demanded, face darkening in color.

"Is that it _Eijun_?" Miyuki asked, smirk growing.

"No it isn't _Kazuya_." Sawamura replied before looking away.

 _That sounds good coming from your lips._

"I like it."

"Huh?"

"My name." Miyuki stated before raising a brow.

"O-of course!" Sawamura stated before blushing furiously.

 _You're getting very easy to read there Eijun._

0_0_0_0

"I don't understand!" The frustrated shortstop stated before flopping back down on the ground.

"It's always the same outcome, at this point, I actually think you're trying to inflate my ego." Haruichi stated before sighing.

The second baseman glanced towards the shortstop, who'd become rather silent, and offered a small smile.

"You'll win one day." He offered.

"Don't patronize me Kominato." Kuramochi huffed.

Haruichi chuckled softly before falling back onto his back beside the shortstop, the lights from the video game that flashed across the screen lighting their features, albeit minimally.

"Im worried about Miyuki." Kuramochi stated before looking away.

"I bet that took a lot to admit." Haruichi said with a small chuckle.

"He makes it hard to try and care." The shortstop said before rolling his eyes.

"I know what you mean... I hope Eijun can get him to relax this weekend."

"That brat better get him to relax or so help me god I will kick his ass into next week."

Haruichi showed a nervous smile before laughing.

"Miyuki's lucky, he has people like you who care for him." The pinklet stated.

 _Maybe Eijun will be able to talk to him about what's going on._

0_0_0_0

"We're home!" came a loud voice, pulling both Sawamura and Miyuki away from the videogame they were playing. "Eijun! Come say hi to you father!"

Sawamura's face flushed slightly from embarrassment before he set the controller down.

"Dinner's ready anyways, bring Kazuya down with you dear." His mother's voice floated up the stairs.

 _I think it's their mission to try and embarrass me as much as they can in front of him..._

As both Sawamura and Miyuki made their way down the stairs, Sawamura's father pulled him into a hug.

"How's school son?" He asked, squeezing rather tightly.

"It's ok." Sawamura gasped out.

"Ok?! We haven't seen you for a month and you tell us 'it's ok'? I outta slap you for that answer." His grandfather huffed as his father let him go.

"Ah! You're the boy in the sports magazine that my boy reads!" Sawamura's father stated, eyes settling on Miyuki.

"Nice to meet you, my name's Miyuki Kazuya." Miyuki said before offering his hand.

Sawamura's father bypassed the hand, pulling the stunned catcher into a hug.

"I'm so proud that my son has managed to affiliate himself with such a respectable person!"

When he pulled away, only Sawamura could pick up on the aura change that surrounded Miyuki, along with the forced smile that he put on.

"It's nice to meet you as well." The catcher said before stepping back.

"Common boys! Dinner is getting cold!" Sawamura's mother called.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki tried to keep up with conversations around the table, but soon found it much too complicated and decided to focus on his meal instead.

 _I'm so proud that my son has managed to affiliate himself with such a respectable person._

The thought was making Miyuki sick.

 _Respectable? Where?_

"Kazuya, hun, are you not hungry?" Came Ms. Sawamura's voice, worry laced into her tone.

Miyuki hadn't realized that he'd been pushing his food around his plate. He looked up with an apologetic smile before taking a bite.

"Sorry, I got lost in thought for a moment there." He said after having finished his bite.

"It's quite alright, if you want seconds, just let me know."

Miyuki smiled once more before continuing to eat. The food that had been so full of flavor at lunch time seemed so bland this time, and it wasn't because the dish had changed.

Sawamura glanced at him with a small frown, he knew the pitcher was starting to read his damn features.

 _When did you become so damn perceptive?_

He finished his meal, looking up as Sawamura's mother stood, her empty plate in hand.

"Did you want seconds dear?" She asked.

"No thanks, would you like help with the dishes?" Miyuki asked.

"Oh no! You boys can go relax, I haven't made so much food in a while, it makes me happy to have to clean up afterwards. Gives me something to do you know?" She said happily before taking Miyuki's plate.

Sawamura stood and glanced at Miyuki before grabbing his hand.

"We're going out back." Sawamura stated before dragging Miyuki up from his chair.

"Be safe." His mother called.

 _What the hell is going on?!  
_ 0_0_0_0

Sawamura kept stealing glances in Miyuki's direction during the whole duration of the dinner. He could tell that something was eating at the catcher.

 _Is it the way that my parents hugged him? I probably should have warned him... Great... What if he thinks I'm a freak now..._

A small frown settled on his lips as he looked away from Miyuki yet another time. When dinner was over, he grabbed the unsuspecting catcher's hand and dragged him from his seat and all the way to what he called his backyard.

Once they were in the middle of the field, Sawamura pulled Miyuki down, flopping onto the grass.

"What are we do-" Miyuki started, only to be shushed by the southpaw.

"Just listen." The first year stated.

0_0_0_0

Haruichi had deemed it too late to leave Kuramochi's dorm room and head back to his; he didn't want to wake his roommate.

"Just take Sawamura's bed." Kuramochi stated before shrugging.

Haruichi had a small smile on his face as he nodded. Kuramochi wasn't hiding the blush that was taking over his cheeks very well.


	6. Chapter 6

**I really enjoy my spacer, I'm not gonna lie.**

 **0_0_0_0**

 ***slime monster from Monster Inc voice***

 **"I'm watching. Always watching."**

 **heh**

 **Chapter 6**

"Just listen."

Miyuki glanced at the first year pitcher before looking back up and closing his eyes. As he closed them small sounds became clear to him; crickets were chirping, the grass was being tousled by the wind, and tree branches sang the tunes that the skies demanded.

He took a deep breath, allowing the wind's tunes to relax him. Crickets sang along, offering a constant background noise to the tranquility that was settling.

"How long are you going to hold my hand?" Miyuki asked, small smirk taking over his lips.

There was a couple long seconds of silence before Sawamura spoke.

"As long as you need me to."

0_0_0_0

Sawamura allowed the sounds of nature to consume him, hoping that it had the same calming effect on Miyuki as it did on him.

"How long are you going to hold my hand?" The catcher's voice broke through the serene scene he was enjoying.

A blush crept over his cheeks, making him take a second to compose himself before he said the first words that popped into his mind.

"As long as you need me to." He mumbled, eyes opening slowly.

A glanced to the side showed that Miyuki's eyes were still closed, his face impossibly blank.

 _I said something wrong didn't I?..._

Sawamura was about to pull his hand away from Miyuki's when his fingers were squeezed. He watched as Miyuki's eyes opened and trailed on the sky above them.

"You were right." Miyuki said softly.

"Hm?"

"The stars, they're brighter out here." Miyuki said, a smile painting itself across his lips.

Sawamura turned his gaze away from the catcher to look up at the sky. The stars were sprawled out, bright dots littering every inch of sky.

"Of course I was right!" The pitcher stated with a lopsided grin.

Miyuki rolled his eyes, though the smiled stayed.

0_0_0_0

Morning came, an alarm screaming at its presence. Kuramochi sat up groggily before rubbing a hand over his face. He hit the snooze on his phone, getting rid of the annoying screeching.

 _Ugh mornings..._

He made his way down from his bunk and peeled his baggy shirt off. He caught a blur of pink out of the corner of his eye. Turning towards Sawamura's bunk, his eyes widened.

 _I totally forgot he slept here last night!_

Haruichi was sleeping soundly, arms coiled around the bundled up blankets. He'd managed to bunch up the blankets and use them as a sort of body billow instead of covers.

 _It's kinda cute..._

The second baseman's hair was all over the place, the pink locks no longer hiding his eyes. Haruichi looked rather comfortable as he slept, breath blowing a piece of hair to and from himself.

 _Turn away... temptation... arg._

Kuramochi forced himself to turn away from his adorable second baseman and change into his practice uniform. At last, he managed to talk himself into waking the younger Kominato without doing anything irrational.

"Kominato." He murmured softly before shaking his shoulder slightly.

Haruichi mumbled something along the lines of 'five more minutes' before settling into the bunched up blankets.

"You need those five more minutes to change... Practice starts soon..." Kuramochi tried to keep his voice gentle.

Haruichi's eyes opened slowly, but the shortstop could tell he wasn't fully awake yet. He was surprised when the pinklet grabbed his arm and yanked him into the bed next to him.

"Five more minutes." He persisted.

Kuramochi's whole face with bright pink as he laid mere inches from the boy he undoubtedly had a thing for.

 _Ryosuke would definitely throw a fit..._

0_0_0_0

Haruichi felt his arm shake slightly but didn't open his eyes.

 _Ugh... We stayed up way too late playing video games last night._

"Five more minutes..." he murmured.

"You need those five more minutes to change... Practice starts soon..." Kuramochi said gently.

Haruichi's eyes opened slowly before an idea occurred to him. He reached towards the shortstop and yanked him into the bed next to him. He knew that if he was to tell the other that he was fully awake, pulling the other towards him would never be something he could explain as being something he usually did. He was usually more reserved than that, but for some reason or another, he wanted the shortstop to lie next to him and relax.

"Five more minutes." He repeated before letting his eyes fall close.

0_0_0_0

Furuya's mood was far from distasteful when he saw both Haruichi and Kuramochi running extra laps for having been late. He wanted to know why the ever so diligent and punctual pinklet had been late to practice. He silently seethed, though the other first years seemed to duck away, reading his aura rather well.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura's eyes opened slowly before he sat up. The sun was leaking through his blinds, allowing him to understand that it was indeed time to get up. He glanced towards his bed, expecting to see Miyuki laying there. To his dismay, the bed was made neatly, and the catcher was nowhere in sight.

Getting up, Sawamura made his way to the washroom to both relieve himself and brush his teeth. As he made his way downstairs, it was easy to pick out Miyuki's laugh from his mother's. Upon entering the kitchen he noticed the two of them with mugs wrapped in their hands.

"Ah, Good morning Eijun." His mother offered before turning back to Miyuki. "Kazuya was telling me how close you were to a certain upper class man."

Sawamura's cheeks darkened in embarrassment as his mother continued to giggle.

"Haha, you should've seen him this last summer." The catcher stated before laughing. "He followed Chris around like lost duckling."

 _Miyuki, you bastard!_

If the flush of embarrassment could get any darker, people would label Sawamura a tomato.

"Oh my, and I suppose that since this Chris has graduated, you've taken our Eijun under your wing?"

"Of course, I always take good care of my juniors." Miyuki stated before laughing.

Sawamura rolled his eyes as he grabbed a bowl and filled it with cereal. Looking through the fridge, Sawamura pulled out the milk carton before filling his bowl and making his way to the kitchen table. He sat his bowl on the table before sitting next to Miyuki.

"What are you drinking?" The southpaw asked, leaning over to sniff the mug that Miyuki was holding.

"Oi, get your nose out of my coffee." Miyuki chided.

Sawamura rolled his nose at the bespectacled catcher.

"That's so bitter though." Sawamura whined.

"What do you care?" Miyuki asked while raising a brow.

"It's kinda like your persona." Sawamura stated matter of factly.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki's brow twitched after Sawamura's comment.

 _What the hell is that suppose to mean?  
_ "Excuse me?" He asked, his aura darkening some.

Both the catcher and first year pitcher forgot of Sawamura's mother's presence.

"No really, it works!" Sawamura exclaimed, completely unaware of Miyuki's annoyance.

"Does it now?"

"Yea, you have a rather bitter personality, but everyone seems to love you. Like coffee!" Sawaura declared before smiling innocently in Miyuki's direction.

 _Is that supposed to be a compliment? You idiot..._

0_0_0_0

"I noticed that you were late this morning..." Furuya said softly, his normal mask of indifference up.

Haruichi looked up from his notebook, cocking his head slightly towards the boy that most of the team referred to as the Monster Pitcher.

"Ah, yea. Couch made me run extra laps." Haruichi said before sighing.

"Why were you late?" The ace asked.

He watched in growing annoyance as a blush overtook the second baseman's cheeks.

"Kuramochi forgot to wake me." Haruichi murmured after a couple of silent seconds.

Haruichi missed the way Furuya's eyebrow twitched with annoyance.

"Want to swing with me tonight?" The ace asked.

"Eh? Sure... You don't usually ask me to swing with you, is it because Eijun isn't here to run with you?" The second baseman asked while cocking his head.

Furuya simply shrugged before he focused on the notes in front of him.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura was smiling in Miyuki's direction, not noticing the twitch in the catcher's brow.

"What's your guys' plan for the day?" Sawamura's mother asked with a smile.

"I'm planning on meeting with Wakana, she wants to meet Miyuki almost as much as you did." Sawamura said with a growing grin.

Miyuki rose a brow as the Sawamuras spoke.

"Are you now? And when was my opinion going to be taken into account?" The catcher asked, smirk growing.

"We're in my town! You follow my rules Miyuki Kazuya!" The southpaw shouted before pushing himself up and grabbing his empty bowl of cereal.

Miyuki couldn't help himself, he started laughing, grabbing at his stomach as he tried to breath.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi was dusting his practice uniform off as he finished off with sliding practice.

He made his way over to Haruichi, who was panting and covered in just as much dirt, if not more, than he was.

"Tired?" The shortstop asked, smirk in place as Haruichi straightened up, wiping sweat from his chin.

"Maybe just a little." The second baseman conveyed before chuckling lightly.

"I want to work on our coordination for defensive plays." Kuramochi stated.

"Ah, I've already made plans for late practice tonight... Sorry Kuramochi..." The pinklet stated with a small smile.

"Huh? With who?"

"Furuya asked me to work on batting with him."

 _Huh? Furuya usually goes for a run at this time..._

"I see... I suppose we can work on it tomorrow..." Kuramochi said, disappointment leaking into his tone.

Haruichi cocked his head in question as Kuramochi walked away.

0_0_0_0

"Eijun!"

Miyuki's head cocked to the side, hearing the southpaw's given name being called, and by a girl no less.

"Ah! Wakana! It's so good to see you!" Sawamura called, his smile growing as his childhood friend threw herself in his arms.

Miyuki's brow twitched slightly as Sawamura's grip tightened around her.

"I missed you!" Wakana practically sang before pushing back slightly. "The gang wanted to come, but with finals coming and all... They had to study."

"AH!" Sawamura shrieked, making both Miyuki and Wakana cringe.

"You forgot to study, didn't you, idiot?" Miyuki stated before rolling his eyes.

Sawamura's face darkened in embarrassment.

"No! I have studied you four-eyed, demon catcher!"

Miyuki rose a brow, amusement flashing in his eyes.

"Fine idiot, I won't help you study." Miyuki stated before a small smirk rose to his lips. "Just remember, you can't play in tournaments if you fail anything."

Miyuki's grin only grew as he saw Sawamura's face pale.

"I will be ace one day you know! Mere exams won't stop me!" Sawamura bellowed.

"Some ace you can be if you can't even pass your tests idiot." Miyuki said before rolling his eyes.

Wakana had a smile on her lips as she listened to the battery bantered.

"How long have you two been together?" Wakana asked.

Both Miyuki and Sawamura's playful banter stopped, both battery members turning towards Wakana, one with a blank expression, the other one with bright red taking over his ears.


	7. Chapter 7

**Good morning :D or almost afternoon by the time this gets posted BUT WHATEVER**

 **I hope you enjoy this fluffy stuff, cause y'know, it's gonna get rather dark soon,**

 **I just believe in fair warnings you know? of course the whole thing isn't dark fret not,**

 **just... Like the description states, it deals with depression so there will be dark moments.**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing,**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 7**

Sawamura's blank expression put Wakana on edge. She cocked her head somewhat, her smile turning somewhat awkward.

"What are you talking about Wakana?... Miyuki and I have been together for a year... going on two now..." The southpaw stated, clearly confused.

Wakana brought her hands together, giggling happily.

"You idiot!" Miyuki hissed, shaking his head somewhat. "She didn't mean as a battery..."

Wakana cocked her head slightly, not overhearing Miyuki's muttering.

"Hm? Oi , Miyuki, your ears are really pink! It's not even cold!" Sawamura stated, overly loud as usual.

"Ah, I'm sorry Miyuki. We're just rather open about that type of thing out here. If you aren't ready to have others know, no worries, my lips are sealed." Wakana said before pulling an imaginary zipper across her lips and smiling.

Miyuki groaned loudly, running a hand across his face.

 _I don't understand! Why would Miyuki not want the fact that we're a battery to be known by everyone? We're a powerful team!_

0_0_0_0

"You know, I should really be studying Yoichi." A certain pink haired third year said before yawning.

"And I should have worked on defensive plays with your younger brother. I suppose we both can't have what we want." Kuramochi stated, annoyance leaking into his tone.

Ryosuke jabbed him in the ribs, making the shortstop wince, before he moved out of the way, letting him into his dorm room.

"That isn't the way I've taught you to speak to me." The third year stated before smirking.

"Sorry." Kuramochi stated before collapsing in the third year's bed.

 _Sorry? You conceited pretty quickly there, Yoichi._

"So, why, pray tell, are you stopping by a leaving upper class man's room?"

"Wanted someone to talk to I guess."

 _How cruel Yoichi. Have you forgotten what I told you when you told me of your affection towards Haruichi?_

Ryosuke regarded the second year shortstop, watching as he lifted an arm to cover his eyes.

"I don't understand why I'm in such a shitty mood." Kuramochi exasperated.

 _I have an inkling._

"Did you stay up and play video games all night last night?" Ryosuke asked, mischievous smirk in place.

It slowly fell out of place when pink started to dust over Kuramochi's cheeks.

 _I'm going to kill you, slowly._

Kuramochi sat up, as if feeling the cool aura that was seeping from his prior second baseman.

"Sorta." He responded before shrugging. "But I usually do that, so it wouldn't leave me in a bad mood."

"Is it because you don't have sawamura to push around?" The third year asked.

"Ah! Maybe that's it!" Kuramochi said before standing up.

 _No it's not you idiot. I wonder how come it is, Haruichi couldn't practice with you tonight._

"You're the best Ryosuke!" The shortstop shouted over his shoulder as he left the dorm room.

 _Ah... how cruel you are Yoichi._

0_0_0_0

Wakana didn't stop giggling, as Miyuki struggled to keep from strangling the ever so dense southpaw.

"You're so dense!" Miyuki hissed.

"Excuse me, Miyuki Kazuya?!" Sawamura yelled.

"It physically causes me pain how dense you are." Miyuki repeated while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Well, it physically pains me how much of a dick you can be!" Sawamura stated before huffing.

Wakana didn't stop giggling, which was definitely getting on the catcher's nerves.

"I know you might not be comfortable speaking about it Miyuki, but bare with me for a second, who confessed first?!" The high school girl asked, her excitement radiating off like a wave of heat.

"Huh?" Sawamura asked, once again lost. "Confessed what exactly?" He asked.

"Ah! It must have been you, Miyuki!" Wakana cried before jumping up and down.

"I need a breather." Miyuki grounded out before turning on his heels and heading in the opposing direction.

 _Both of them, dense idiots!_

0_0_0_0

"Ah... I'm sorry Eijun... I think I may have pushed Miyuki too far..." Wakana said, her excitement, along with her smile, falling rather quickly.

Sawamura frowned as well.

"Miyuki! Oi! That's so rude!" He called, trying to get his catcher's attention.

No matter what he said, the second year wouldn't turn around, though if he focused hard enough, he could still see Miyuki's rather pink ear as the distance between them grew.

"Ah... Sorry Wakana... I don't want Miyuki to get lost. I'll text you later?" The pitcher said before smiling.

Wakana nodded, bringing up a smile of her own.

"Sure thing Eijun, tell Miyuki I'm sorry for what I did to upset him." She said before waving goodbye.

0_0_0_0

"My shoulders are feeling heavy..." Furuya murmured as both he and Haruichi ate breakfast.

"That's cause you wanted to stay out and swing all night." Haruichi said before chuckling lightly.

"I don't wanna go into the heat..." Furuya murmured before sighing.

"Ah, I suppose that means you don't want to pitch today?" Haruichi asked, a small smirk taking over his soft features.

Furuya's eyes lit up with motivation.

"My shoulders are fine." He said before taking another bite of breakfast.

 _Ah... so simple minded..._

Haruichi chuckled softly before continuing to eat his breakfast as well.

0_0_0_0

"Miyuki! Come on! Stop ignoring me." Sawamura called as he ran after the catcher.

Miyuki ignored him, quickening his pace as he walked.

"Oi! I know you can hear me!" Sawamura called.

Miyuki didn't answer. Sawamura broke out into a full sprint before he jumped, tackling the cleanup batter to the ground.

"Hah! Caught you!" Sawamura stated, a grin displaying his victory.

Miyuki stayed silent underneath him.

"Miyuki? Oh my god I killed the captain!" Sawamura yelled, sitting up and forcing Miyuki to turn over.

The captain had his face covered with his hands, blocking Sawamura from view.

"Oi! Miyuki! You can at least tell me if you're alive!" The pitcher practically screamed.

"You're suffocating me." Miyuki managed.

Sawamura glanced down and realized he was perched on the catcher's stomach.

"Ah! Sorry!" Sawamura said, getting up rather quickly.

Miyuki sat up slowly, hands dropping to his sides. What met Sawamura's eyes surprised him, and strangely enough, made his stomach do flip flops.

The catcher's face, usually twisted with either a smirk or a shit eating grin, was now dusted in a bright pink flush, his lips were pressed into thin lines and his eyes seemed to flash with so many different emotions the pitcher didn't know what to do.

"Miyuki?... Did Wakana's words actually insult you this much?..." The pitcher asked, cocking his head somewhat.

"Huh?" Miyuki's eyes widened somewhat before he focused on Sawamura. "What?"

Sawamura's eyebrow twitched somewhat.

"I asked if-"

"I know what you asked idiot." Miyuki stated before rolling his eyes.

"What did you call me?!" The pitcher asked.

"I-d-i-o-t." Miyuki said fairly slowly, slow enough for the pitcher to interpret.

0_0_0_0

"Good morning Furuya, Kominato." Kuramochi said as he sat down with his meal.

"Ah, good morning!" Haruichi smiled brightly.

Furuya's brow twitched, but he offered Kuramochi a small nod of acknowledgement.

"So, coach says it's free practice today, I figured we could work on our defensive plays?" Kuramochi said before shovelling a spoonful of food into his mouth.

Haruichi nodded, though was ignored by the pitcher.

"No, he has to play catch with me." Furuya said, his features indifferent.

It was Kuramochi's turn to have his eyebrow twitch.

"Did he now?" Kuramochi asked, smile bordering on insanity.

Haruichi sighed.

"Y-yea... I forgot that I had promised Furuya I'd play catch with him today... maybe we can work on plays tonight?" He asked, showing Kuramochi a small smile.

Furuya showed a rare display of emotion; happiness while Kuramochi flinched.

 _Ah... That one hurt._

"I see." Kuramochi stated before focusing on his meal. "Well, maybe I'll work on my swing this morning then." He said before offering the fakest of smiles.

0_0_0_0

"What did you say?!" Sawamura blurted.

"Again? Really, aren't we slow? I called you-" Miyuki was cut off when Sawamura tackled him to the ground, again.

"Stop that!" Sawamura said, pushing himself up slightly.

Miyuki couldn't help himself, he started laughing, losing his composure.

"Do you want me to lie to you?" Miyuki asked, mid laughter.

"What?!" Sawamura demanded.

"If I didn't call you an idiot, I'd be lying to you!" Miyuki said.

"You so full of it!" Sawamura yelled, getting annoyed.

"But I'm only telling the truth!" Miyuki returned, smirk growing.

"Whatever..." Sawamura said before pouting.

Without thinking about it, Miyuki reached up and pushed Sawamura's cheeks together, forcing the breath out of his cheeks.

"What the hell are you doing?" The southpaw asked.

Miyuki's smirk merely grew.

 _Why does it have to be you?_

0_0_0_0

Haruichi couldn't shake the feeling that Kuramochi had somehow been hurt by what Furuya had said that morning.

 _It is weird though... I don't remember agreeing to play catch with him._

The pinklet sighed as he stretched, the monster rookie right next to him, stretching his shoulder.

"You're not gonna throw super hard... are you?" Haruichi asked timidly.

Furuya shook his head as he pulled his glove onto his hand.

Haruichi smiled softly before pulling his glove on as well.

"Is there a reason you wanted to play catch?" Haruichi asked.

Furuya stayed quiet as he tossed the boy the ball.

Haruichi cocked his head in a questioning matter.

"Haruichi..." Furuya murmured.

Haruichi flinched somewhat.

 _Has Furuya actually ever said my name?..._

"Y-yea?" The pinklet asked as he tossed the ball back towards the pitcher.

"I like y-"

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi was just walking by the field, bat on his shoulder, when he overheard the first years' conversation. He stopped to listen, mild curiosity nipping at him.

He watched as Haruichi's whole body flinched somewhat before the younger boy seemed to focus in on the monster pitcher.

 _Oh no..._

The shortstop's bat dropped to his feet as he started his sprint towards his two juniors. His legs carried his faster than they had ever before.

"I like y-"

Without even thinking about it, Kuramochi tackled Furuya to the ground.

"Huh? Kuramochi?" Haruichi squeaked in surprised.

"Kuramochi... get off..." Furuya grumbled from underneath the second year shortstop.

"What do you think you're doing slacking off?" Kuramochi asked, his famous laugh following.

 _Ugh... what kind of save was that eh assistant captain?_

He thought to himself before standing.

"You two will be swinging your bats with me. I want you here in less than five minutes or I have some new wrestling moves I've been meaning to test out." Kuramochi finished.

Haruichi paled before taking off.

Furuya didn't move.

"You heard me." Furuya said.

"You think I'd let you win that easy?" Kuramochi asked before giving Furuya a sly smirk.

Furuya's eyes blazed with determination, making the shortstop's grin only get larger.

 _I won't lose Monster Rookie._


	8. Chapter 8

**So this is where it starts to get heavy in content.**

 **These are my babies and when they hurt I do.**

 **Why do I do this to myself?... Im a masochist perhaps?**

 **Anyways,**

 **Read and review!**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 8**

"Ah! The both of you are full of dirt!" Sawamura's mother stated, hands going to her mouth as she gasped.

Both Miyuki and Sawamura gave her smiles as she glanced over them.

"Oh dear... You guys haven't managed to cut yourselves anywhere, have you?" She continued, her motherly mode activating.

Miyuki flinched at her words, hand instinctively reaching for his catching arm.

"Oh dear... You've hurt your arm haven't you Kazuya?"

Miyuki's head snapped up, eyes showing emotions that he never showed in front of people.

 _I feel sick..._

0_0_0_0

"Oh dear... You guys haven't managed to cut yourselves anywhere, have you?" Sawamura heard his mother ask.

His attention was pulled towards his catcher when he felt him flinch. A brow rose as Miyuki reached for his catching arm.

 _Miyuki showing a nervous tick?... I never would have thought.._

"Oh dear... You've hurt your arm haven't you Kazuya?"

Sawamura's eyes rose to his mother's as she continued to speak. The worry that encased them made him nervous.

 _Don't pity me!  
_ Miyuki shouting at him back a few days ago flashed through his mind. His eyes left his mother's, in turn focusing on Miyuki's. Surprise took over his own feelings as his attention fell on his catcher.

Miyuki's usually firm and resilient mask was in pieces at his feet. His eyes showed... such pain... Sawamura felt his chest constrict in pain as he watched Miyuki fall apart. He wanted to pull the fragile boy into his arms.

 _This... I've never seen Miyuki show so much... Raw emotion..._

"Kazuya, dear-" Sawamura's mother started before her son cut her off.

"Miyuki and I are gonna head up to my room. Call us when lunch is ready?" He said before grabbing Miyuki's right hand, ripping it from his catching arm, and dragging him up the stairs.

0_0_0_0

Haruichi grabbed a bat before rushing off back to where Kuramochi and Furuya would be waiting. He wasn't keen on wrestling for the rest of the day. As he walked back he felt a thick atmosphere lingering around the field.

"Ah... Kuramochi... Are you ok?"

The shortstop turned towards the shorter boy and showed what Haruichi could only describe as a frightening smile.

"Never better. Got so much energy to spend." He said, lifting his bat off his shoulders as if to prove his point. "Where is that damn Furuya? Making me wait." Something indefinable flashed through Kuramochi's eyes, causing Haruichi to gulp.

Not long after, Furuya showed up looking indifferent as per usual.

Haruichi could only smile as Kuramochi reprimanded him about keeping his upper class man waiting for him.

 _0_0_0_0_

 _Not right now... I can't... she's looking right at me. What are you thinking Kazuya?! You know better! They're both looking at you! Why are you falling apart right now?! You're not aloud! Pull yourself together idiot! It was one fucking word! Of course they don't know._

 _But what if they do?... He's been getting close... They've all been closing in... I'll lose everything... They'll want me to see someone who's supposed to tell me what I already know._

 _I know I'm fucked up! I know I should appreciate people giving a shit! I don't want to sit in a chair and talk about how the burn of a blade slicing across my arm makes the pain go away! It makes it less hard to go on._

 _Mom and dad are fighting?! It hurts. Mom dying from a disease the hospital couldn't prevent from spreading?! It hurts! Dad burying himself in work! It hurts. Being alone... It fucking hurts._

"...azuya!"

 _Why the fuck does it hurt so much?! I should be used to it by now! Jesus Christ! Why can't I just pull my shit together?! I'm such a fucking burden..._

"Miyuki Kazuya!"

 _Why do I even try anymore?_

"You idiot!"

 _I'm so fucked up.._

"Damn it Miyuki! Look at me!"

 _Why do I put myself through this pain?_

"Kazuya!"

0_0_0_0

Sawamura dragged the cleanup batter up to his room, shutting the door behind him. He plopped the boy on the edge of his bed, watching as his breath became more and more shallow.

 _Is he having a panic attack?_

"Miyuki Kazuya!"

Sawamura watched as Miyuki's nails started to dig into his forearms.

"You idiot!" Sawamura hissed, seeing how Miyuki dug his nails into his arms.

 _Listen to me you four eyed demon catcher!_

"Miyuki Kazuya!" He tried again, shaking the catcher's arm somewhat.

The dead look on Miyuki's face only made his heart plummet.

 _I'm not getting through to him._

"Damn it Miyuki! Look at me!" The southpaw shouted, shaking both of Miyuki's shoulders.

He noticed Miyuki's teeth sinking into his lips.

"Kazuya!" Sawamura's voice cracked in desperation.

 _You're scaring me._

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi sighed as he sat on the bench, chucking his bat to the side.

"Here." Haruichi said softly, handing Kuramochi his water bottle.

"Thanks." The shortstop said after having nodded.

He took a long sip, chugging at least half of the bottle's contents as Haruichi grabbed his own water and sat next to his fellow infielder.

Furuya had been called over by the coach and was now working on pitching in the bullpen.

"We weren't really slacking this morning." Haruichi stated after having put his bottle down.

Kuramochi turned his attention towards the pinklet.

 _That was bold._

"My eyes don't deceive me Kominato. Both you and Furuya were standing around, I didn't see the ball being tossed."

"Furuya was trying to tell me something." Haruichi said, turning himself towards Kuramochi. "And you stopped him."

Kuramochi could have sword he say a shadow of Ryosuke behind Haruichi.

"I want to know why." Haruichi persisted.

 _When did you get so pushy?_

"I already told you. I didn't want you guys slacking." Kuramochi said before huffing.

"You're lying." Haruichi said before sighing.

Kuramochi's brow twitched in annoyance.

"Are you telling me that you don't trust your vice captain's words?"

"You and I both know that this has nothing to do with you being vice captain Kuramochi." Haruichi said before shaking his head somewhat.

Kuramochi turned his attention fully towards the second baseman.

"I don't know what you're going on about Kominato but-"

"Furuya was confessing to me." Haruichi said calmly.

"Huh?" Kuramochi asked, his blood running cold.

"Furuya's confession. You wanted to stop it." Haruichi deduced before smiling happily.

"I h-had no idea he was confessing!" Kuramochi stated, his cheeks darkening in color.

"You're lying again." Haruichi said before giggling somewhat.

"I told you to listen to your vice captain's words!" Kuramochi stated, shaking his head in an attempt to get rid of the burning blush that was taking over his whole face.

"I am, I'm just choosing not to believe them."

"What you're saying is absurd! I had no idea-"

"Oh! Maybe I'll go give him my answer then!" Haruichi stood, making his way towards the dugout's exit.

Kuramochi's stomach plummeted. His chest contracted in a painful manner. Pictures of Furuya and Haruichi holding hands made him clench his jaw.

Without even thinking about it, he reached out and grabbed Haruichi's wrist, halting the younger boy's walk.

He looked up to see a wide smile spreading across the second baseman's cheeks; it was on par with the shortstop's blush.

"You're worse of a demon than your brother is.." Kuramochi muttered.

"That wasn't exactly what I was hoping for." Haruichi stated with a sigh.

"You already know so why should I have to say anything?"

"Furuya!" Haruichi called.

"Fine!" Kuramochi said, standing up. "I like you."

"Say my name." Haruichi said, excitement taking over his features.

Kuramochi could just barely see his eyes through his hair, holding wonder in them.

 _This damn brat._

"I like you Kominato." Kuramochi stated, looking to the side.

"Why is it that you can call my brother by his given name and not me?" Haruichi asked, pout taking over his expression.

If Kuramochi's blush could get any darker...

"I like you... Haruichi.."

Haruichi was practically jumping with excitement as he leant in close to the short stop.

"Let me let you in on a little bit of a secret... I like you too Yoichi." He whispered before pulling away and smiling innocently, as if he hadn't pulled a confession out of the upper class man.

Kuramochi's eyes focused on the sand in the dugout as the situation dawned on him.

"Common! Lunch is ready!" Haruichi called before pulling against Kuramochi's hand, dragging him towards the dugout's exit.

 _This feeling... I could get used to it..._

0_0_0_0

Miyuki felt the room come into focus slowly. At first the light was blinding, but then he registered something else. He felt warmth. Looking down just slightly, he saw a tuff of brown hair. He tried to lift his arms but found himself restricted.

It was then that the tuff of brown hair looked up and golden eyes met him. Eyes that held fear, eyes that held misery, eyes that held... He couldn't read the rest. It took him a couple minutes to realize just who this boy was.

"Miyuki?..." The boy whispered hesitantly.

Miyuki looked away from the boy, clenching his jaw slightly.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura had wrapped his arms around Miyuki's waist, trying to convey that he was somehow there for him. Miyuki, although stubborn about it, was always there for him as well. He wanted to be there when Miyuki needed it. Sawamura knew the catcher had a tendency to lock everything away, he could see it in the other's eyes when Miyuki thought no one was looking. He could see that locked door burst open as his mother spoke.

Sawamura felt Miyuki try to move his arms and looked up slowly. He was met with empty eyes.

"Miyuki?..." The southpaw asked quietly.

When Miyuki turned away from him, a frown took over his features.

"Miyuki... Common... Talk to me.."

Miyuki stayed silent.

"You can trust me."

He felt Miyuki tense.

"What do I gotta say so that you look at me?..."

 _I like that._

Miyuki's voice resonated in his mind, pulling an idea together.

 _Here goes nothing..._

"Would you at least look at me Kazuya?"

Miyuki's attention snapped towards the first year southpaw. He was met with a small victorious smirk.

"Please talk to me."

0_0_0_0

Miyuki was doing his absolute best at ignoring his pitcher. He couldn't believe that he had just had a meltdown in front of not only the younger boy but his mother as well.

"What do I gotta say so that you look at me?.."

 _Nothing you say is gonna make me talk to you about this Sawamura._

"Would you at least look at me Kazuya?"

Miyuki's eyes widened somewhat. He quickly turned his attention towards the first year pitcher.

"Please talk to me." Sawamura said gently.

"Why did you use my given name?" Miyuki asked, his voice thick from having not used it in a while.

"You said you liked it." Sawamura said with a small smile.

Miyuki cocked his head at the boy.

"So, that was different..." Sawamura said, his voice leading off.

Miyuki hummed his answer before falling back and collapsing on the bed.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Why aren't you freaking out?"

"Why would I exactly?" Sawamura asked, getting up to plop himself on the bed next to Miyuki.

"Like laugh or something?" Miyuki continued.

"Is that what you think of me?"

"Huh?"

"Is no one aloud to show you compassion Kazuya?" The southpaw asked softly.

Miyuki shifted so that he was leaning on his side, Sawamura followed suit.

"God you're such a pain in the ass." Miyuki muttered.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Sawamura all but yelled.

Miyuki showed a small smirk before reaching out and pulling the southpaw into his arms and flush against his body.

"M-Miyuki! What the hell?!"

"What happened to Kazuya?" Miyuki asked.

"What the hell is going on?!" Sawamura shrieked.

"Shut up for a second." Miyuki murmured, his eyes falling closed as he relaxed.

Sawamura piped down and allowed Miyuki to hold him. The catcher was grateful for the warmth that he was pulling from the ever so energetic southpaw.

 _Honestly... You have no idea what you're doing.. do you?_


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys!**

 **Thanks for staying with this story!**

 **Thanks for reading and the reviewing!**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 9**

Haruichi smiled happily as he walked into the cafeteria with Kuramochi. He half expected the older boy to pull his hand away, but when he didn't Haruichi couldn't help the warm feeling that started bubbling in his stomach.

Some of the first years glanced their way but otherwise said nothing. A couple second years smirked in Kuramochi's direction, their eyes practically singing their thoughts.

 _It's about time._

Haruichi only dropped Kuramochi's hand when he went to grab his tray. The older boy, although still blushing, didn't seem to be blushing as loudly as he had been only a couple minutes ago.

Haruichi managed to start humming a tune as he grabbed his food and made his way towards the table he usually ate at. Kuramochi plopped down next to him and he couldn't help how big the smile on his lips was.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi glanced to his side as Haruichi grabbed his tray. He watched as the pinklet started to hum and tried not to melt at the sight of his smile as he sat next to him.

 _I'd take a severe talking to from Ryosuke any day if I could come back to this._

0_0_0_0

Furuya was walking back from the bullpen when he came up on a very unpleasant sight.

He watched as Haruichi walked, fingers laced in Kuramochi's, into the very loud dining area.

"Cheater.." He muttered.

He clenched his teeth as his heart seemed to squeeze painfully.

"Just a couple seconds earlier... Just... Why?" He asked, looking up at the blue sky.

"Stop talking to yourself." Ono reprimanded as he smacked the back of Furuya's back none too gently. "Get some lunch and then it's back to the bullpen." The catcher stated before heading into the cafeteria before him.

0_0_0_0

"Shut up for a second."

Sawamura stilled at Miyuki's voice. Eventually, he was able to relax, accepting that he wasn't going to be getting out of whatever this was; not that he was fairly keen on getting away anyways.

"So..." The southpaw ventured after a couple of minutes. "How long you plan on hugging me like this?..."

For a while, he wondered if Miyuki had fallen asleep. When the catcher did speak, it made Sawamura jump.

"Remember when I asked you how long you were going to hold my hand, back when we were looking at stars?"

Sawamura could feel his face heating up.

"Y-yea..."

"Do you remember what your answer was?" Miyuki continued.

 _As long as you need me to._

"Mhm..."

Sawamura knew his face was getting darker and darker by the second.

"Well, to answer your question, as long as you're ok with it I guess..." Miyuki trailed off before clearing his throat.

"Is this weakness Kazuya?" Sawamura asked, small smirk slipping onto his lips.

Miyuki huffed and started pushing the pitcher away before Sawamura snaked his arms around the catcher's body.

"I was kidding. I'll stay as long as you need me to." Sawamura whispered.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki huffed at his pitcher's words.

 _Weakness? Seriously? I was... relaxing._

He began pushing the pitcher away only to have that movement halted when said pitcher pulled him back in.

"I was kidding. I'll stay as long as you need me to." Sawamura murmured, his voice muffled slightly by Miyuki's sweatshirt.

Miyuki felt his damn ears heating up with a blush. He stayed silent as he wrapped his arms back around the pitcher.

 _Now... This would be a scene for someone like Yoichi to open the door on.._

He thought, small smirk growing.

"That's scary, stop it." Sawamura murmured, poking Miyuki's cheek.

"How rude." Miyuki stated with a raised brow. "To say that my smile isn't perfect like that, you shouldn't lie to yourself." The catcher continued, smirk only growing.

"That isn't a smile you demon catcher!" Sawamura yelled, causing Miyuki to start laughing.

The pout that followed up on Sawamura's yelling only made Miyuki laugh harder.

"You're one surprise after the other, you know that?" he said as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Shut up!" Sawamura stated before burying his face in Miyuki's chest.

"You're hiding your face by using my chest now?" Miyuki asked, smirk only growing as he saw the southpaw's cheeks darkening.

"You're the worse." Sawamura mumbled half heartedly.

"Ah, Thank you!" Miyuki said.

"It wasn't a compliment!"

Miyuki's chuckle filled the southpaw's room.

0_0_0_0

"So?... Do I get to work on defensive plays with you now?..." Kuramochi asked as he leant back on the bench.

Furuya had barely said a word and the second baseman was now frantically playing with a plastic fork, driving the shortstop insane.

"I guess..." Haruichi said, frown taking over the bright smile Kuramochi was enjoying before the pitcher had arrived.

"For the love of... Just talk to him." Kuramochi said before standing and leaving with his tray.

"Ah! What?!" Haruichi started before giving up as he was ignored by his fielding partner.

0_0_0_0

Haruichi blanched slightly as Kuramochi walked out of the caf, leaving him with a very moody Furuya.

"Uh... So hey..." Haruichi said, trying to smile.

It came out more awkward than he meant it to have.

Furuya looked up at him, though didn't speak.

"It's kinda hot today eh?" Haruichi prompted again.

"I like you." The pitcher stated.

Haruichi's smile faltered slightly before he could force it back up.

"I.. uh..."

"You're with Kuramochi now." Furuya stated.

"Yea..." Haruichi murmured. "Wait! How did you know?!"

"I saw you. Holding hands." Furuya said before taking another bite.

"Really? Haha..." Haruichi's cheeks started to dust over with pink.

"I still like you." Furuya said.

"But I'm-"

"I know who you're with. But I still like you." Furuya said before standing. "Just because you chose wrong this time, doesn't mean I won't wait." He said before throwing his trash away and making his way out of the cafeteria.

 _Chose wrong?..._

0_0_0_0

Sawamura glanced towards the door as he heard his mother's voice from downstairs.

"You want some food?" He asked casually.

"I wouldn't say no to your mother." Miyuki said, pulling his arms away from the pitcher and sitting up.

Sawamura rolled his eyes. Miyuki had a way to charm almost anyone he met. If only his mother knew the catcher's demonic side.

"Oi, oi, you were thinking something really rude weren't you?" Miyuki asked as he rose a brow.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Sawamura exclaimed before pulling the door open.

"You're so mean to me..." Muyiki stated, feigning being hurt.

"Stop that!" Sawamura shouted from down the hall. "And hurry up! Or I'm eating yours to!" The southpaw shouted.

"You won't sleep tonight if you do that." Miyuki sang.

A blush crept across the first year's face as he made his way down the stairs.

 _That's not what he meant idiot!_

He could have sworn he heard Miyuki chuckle knowingly as they stepped into the kitchen. He sent his catcher a glare that was ignored as said catcher made his way towards the table.

"Ah, this smells wonderful." He said as he sat.

"Ah! You're so sweet Kazuya, this is nothing at all." Sawamura's mother said as she set pasta in front of both boys.

"I'm sure it tastes as good as it smells." Miyuki said as he picked up his fork.

"Oh, stop it! You'll make this old lady blush." She said before giggling.

"Old lady? Where?" Miyuki asked.

"If you two keep flirting I'm gonna puke..." Sawamura's grandfather murmured as he walked into the kitchen.

 _You and me both Gramps... You and me both..._

"How rude! We weren't flirting, Kazuya was simply complimenting my cooking." Sawamura's mother stated with a small pout.

Miyuki seemed unfazed by the encounter and had begun eating.

"Thanks for that gross display, I don't think I'm hungry anymore..." Sawamura murmured under his breath.

"Shut up and eat idiot." Miyuki murmured into the unsuspecting pitcher's ear.

"MIYUKI KAZUYA! What are you doing?!" Sawamura shrieked.

"Eijun!" Sawamura's mother gasped. "Don't shout at guests! Eat your meal respectably!"

"B-bu-but!" Sawamura blubbered.

Turning towards Miyuki, he could just about pick up the barely concealed smirk that the catcher was hiding.

 _Demon! I'm telling you!_

0_0_0_0

"So? How'd it go?" Kuramochi asked as he tossed the ball towards' the pinklet, warming their arms up after a break.

"Just as expected... I guess." Haruichi answered before throwing the ball back.

"Did he say anything?"

Kuramochi was fairly curious how Haruichi had let the boy's confession down.

"He said I chose wrong."

Kuramochi felt his blood boil, he even dropped the ball.

"What. Did. You. Say?"

There was a very scary smile spreading across the shortstop's facial features.

"Who the hell does he think he is?! I'm gonna show him who the hell chose wrong." Kuramochi began stalking towards the bullpen.

"And leave me here? All alone?.." Haruichi asked quietly.

Kuramochi flinched slightly, his anger momentarily forgotten.

"But..."

"After you asked me to practice? You're gonna bail on me?" Haruichi continued, frown in place.

 _This damn brat... he's doing it on purpose._

"No. I can deal with it later." Kuramochi said before huffing.

He walked back to walked back to where he had been tossing the ball with the pinklet and bent down to pick it up.

 _You're more manipulative than your brother is... People should be more wary around you and less Ryosuke..._

0_0_0_0

Haruichi watched as Kuramochi walked away.

 _I don't need you making Furuya feel any worse... Jeez..._

"And leave me here? All alone?.." The pinklet murmured, trying to sound as dejected as possible.

He watched as Kuramochi stopped.

 _Ah. Gotcha._

"But..."

 _No buts._

"After you asked me to practice? You're gonna bail on me?"

 _Jeez... I should be an actor... backup plan in case baseball doesn't work out._

"No. I can deal with it later." Kuramochi said before huffing.

Haruichi resisted the urge to put a peace sign up in victory.

 _Heh. Winner._

0_0_0_0

"Don't drop any of these, my mum would kill me." Sawamura stated as he handed Miyuki the wet plate.

The two boys had told Sawamura's mother that she could relax and that they'd clean up the kitchen for her. She'd denied the help at first, but after a few more offers, and a couple smiles from Miyuki, she eventually conceited.

"I'm not you Eijun." Miyuki said as he rolled his eyes.

The plate slipped out of Sawamura's hands and Miyuki was only just able to catch it before it smashed against the tiles.

"Case and point..." He muttered as he dried the plate.

"You called me by my given name!" Sawamura stated, his eyes wide with surprise.

"It's only fair if you get to call me Kazuya." Miyuki said while shrugging.

"Since when have you ever been fair?" Sawamura asked while raising a brow.

Miyuki set the dish in the in cupboard after having dried it and leant up against the counter as he waited for the next dish.

"You're slow." He stated, his trademark smirk making its appearance.

"Shut up!" Sawamura stated.

The southpaw focused on cleaning again, handing Miyuki dish after dish.

"Did we really use all of these dishes?" Sawamura asked before sighing.

"Tired already? Sheesh." Miyuki chided.

"Like you enjoy this." Sawamura retorted while rolling his eyes.

"I don't mind it actually. When I go home, it's just dad and I, if I'm lucky that is." Miyuki stated with a shrug.

Sawamura glanced over at his catcher, though Miyuki's mask hadn't cracked.

"I think my mum has already practically adopted you as her son, so hey, you can always come by again." The pitcher stated before smiling.

Miyuki looked at him with a shocked expression.

 _Was that weird? It's true though.. Mum practically gushes over him, dad showed his approval the second he met him, and Gramps... well... Gramps doesn't like anybody so... whatever._

Sawamura was startled out of his train of thought when he heard Miyuki begin to laugh.

"Why are you laughing at me?!" The southpaw demanded.

"You never think before you speak!" Miyuki said mid laughter.

"So what?!" Sawamura stated, blush taking over his features.

"I suppose that means you'll always being earnest though." Miyuki said before reaching over and ruffling his pitcher's hair. "Thanks for inviting me over."


	10. Chapter 10

**This fic...**

 **Am I masochistic? like it physically pains me to write this some times.**

 **Don't ask -.- I dont even know myself *sigh***

 **Yes I love my diamond no ace characters.**

 **Yes, even Furuya and Nori.**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 10**

Furuya sent a screaming pitch towards Ono, more strength in it than usual.

"Oi, oi. I can barely feel my hand there Monster Rookie. Wanna chill it down a bit?" The second string catcher asked.

Furuya ignored the catcher's words and began his windup again, sending another screamer into said catcher's mitt.

"Jeez. What's eating at you Furuya?" Ono asked, standing up from his squatting position. "Is it cause I'm not Miyuki? Is that it? Well I'm sorry I'm not Mr. First String Catcher." Ono said, annoyance leaking through.

"No. That's not it." Furuya mumbled.

"Than what is it?" Ono asked, walking towards the pitcher.

Images of Kuramochi and Haruichi holding hands flashed through his mind, making him clench his teeth. His mind decided to be cruel, it conjured pictures of the two watching movies together, or going on simple dinner dates. Furuya felt his heart squeeze uncomfortably.

"Nothing." Furuya said monotonously.

"You can't hide it from your upper class man! It's obviously not nothing." The second string catcher said before rolling his eyes.

"Do you... have a crush on anyone?" Furuya asked all of a sudden.

Ono glanced towards the first year and rose a brow.

"That was a pretty personal question there Furuya." Ono replied with.

"Is that a no?" The first year pitcher asked.

"I didn't say that." The second string catcher said before rolling his eyes.

Furuya sighed heavily at his upper class man's cryptic words.

"There's a girl in my class, had my eye on her for quite a while." Ono said, small smile in place.

"And? Are you two dating?" Furuya asked, hopeful spark igniting in his silver eyes.

Ono laughed bitterly.

"Far from it. You see, she has a thing for the first string catcher." Ono said before huffing.

"A crush on Miyuki?" Furuya asked, eyes widening.

"Yup. I feel like I can't get her attention unless I up my game and surpass him." Ono mumbled before sighing. "I love seeing her in the stands when we have our games... But I can't say it doesn't hurt seeing her eyes dance with excitement when she watches Miyuki at bat."

"One sided love..." Furuya murmured.

"She's quite the softball player to. I've passed by the field a couple of times while she plays."

"Resorted to stalking?..."

"Anyone's aloud in the park Furuya. Jesus." Ono huffed.

"What position does she play?"

"She's a pretty great first baseman. She's on par with Maezono even." Ono said with a sort of pride Furuya couldn't understand.

"Why don't you ask her out?" Furuya asked with a small cock of his head.

"Because she's in love with Miyuki." Ono said before sighing.

"And?..." Furuya mumbled.

"I don't want to hurt her or burden her with feelings I know she doesn't return. I would hate myself if I took her smile away." He responded with before sighing bemusedly. "What was the point in bringing this up? Other than putting me in a depression and all?" The catcher asked with a sigh.

Furuya only sighed heavily.

"I need a water break." He mumbled before shaking his head.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki stretched his arms before throwing himself onto Sawamura's bed.

"And you chided me about being tired!" Sawamura huffed.

"I also got up this morning, unlike someone else who slept in until ten-ish." Miyuki said before rolling over onto his stomach and focusing on Sawamura as he made his bed.

The pitcher had chosen to ignore his small jab, which was surprising in itself.

"Couldn't make your bed this morning?" Miyuki asked while raising a brow.

"I was too busy worrying for my family's safety what with a demon roaming around and all." Sawamura said as he plopped down on his now made bed.

"Ouch. My pitcher is so mean to me." Miyuki said before feigning being hurt.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Sawamura asked all of a sudden, startling the catcher somewhat.

"Do you have popcorn?" Miyuki asked with a small smirk.

"I can make some I suppose." Sawamura said before shrugging.

"Let's do it then." Miyuki said casually.

Of course, the catcher didn't miss the blush that crossed Sawamura's features.

0_0_0_0

"I think I'm finally starting to pick up on your quirks, they're kinda like Ryosuke's." Kuramochi said with a triumphant grin.

"Oh yea?" Haruichi asked as he sat down with a groan.

The pinklet's uniform was covered in dirt from the infield. He must have dove into the dirt at least a thousand times so far. He brought his bottle to his lips, only to let out a soft whine when not a single drop was squeezed into his mouth.

 _Ugh... I'm tired and thirsty... No more tonight..._

Hauichi looked down at the ground in defeat, empty bottle hanging in his hand. He only looked up when a bottle was placed in front of his face. He cocked his head slightly while Kuramochi stood in front of him, small blush in place as he handed the second baseman his water bottle.

"Thanks." The petite boy said with a tired smile before taking a sip.

He relished in the cool feeling of water that travelled down his parched throat.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi glanced towards Haruichi when he heard a soft noise. He watched the boy hang his head in defeat and couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness when his eyes fell on him.

 _Out of water?_

Kuramochi shrugged to himself before grabbing his bottle and handing it to the pinklet, small smile in place as he did so. His smile only grew as Haruichi smiled up at him.

"Thanks."

"No big deal." Kuramochi said as Haruichi took a sip.

When the petite boy handed the bottle back, he brought it to his own lips.

 _Isn't this an indirect kiss?!_

The shortstop's cheeks were once again engulfed by a blush.

0_0_0_0

Ono had taken to catching for Kawakami for the rest of the break before dinner. Furuya had decided he would hit off the pitching machine to relieve some of his pent up frustration.

Pictures of the shortstop and second baseman clouded his mind and he couldn't help but swing angrily.

"Furuya!"

The pitcher turned towards the booming voice, slight frown on his face.

"Don't swing erratically! You'll throw your shoulder out!" Katoaka called, arms folded across his chest as he watched the pitcher.

 _I didn't realize it was erratic._

Furuya turned away from the coach as he brought his arms back up, waiting for the pitch to be launched towards him. He swung and made solid contact with the pitch. He brought his elbows back up and waited for the next pitch. Gritting his teeth, he swung and sent the ball right back where it had come out of.

0_0_0_0

"Really?..." Sawamura mumbled.

The two baseball addicts were sitting on the blow up mattress, popcorn sitting on the energetic pitcher's lap.

"Why? You scared?" Miyuki asked with a knowing smirk.

"What?! Of course not!" Sawamura bellowed, determination flashing across his golden eyes.

"You're scared." Miyuki deduced.

"I'll prove it to you!" Sawamura stated.

He reached for the remote, hitting the play button before leaning back and glancing at the screen. The lights in his room were turned off as the both of them got comfortable.

 _I'm really not good with horror movies... I don't think I've ever seen one... Miyuki chose it though... I have to show him that I'm not afraid of a mere movie!_

A loud note of music broke through the speaker, causing Sawamura to jump out of his skin. He heard Miyuki snicker and he couldn't help the blush of embarrassment that spread across his cheeks.

 _This movie is gonna be the end of me..._

 _0_0_0_0_

 _I'll be the first to admit that it was a total dick move on my part. Listen, I know he's bad with this stuff, it's about 96 percent of the reason I choose the movie I did. I like horror films and I wanted to see it of course, but at the same time... Maybe I'm hoping something will happen?_

Miyuki's eyes trailed on the screen as the movie started up. He couldn't help but snicker as Sawamura jumped when the music to the movie started up.

 _He's super jumpy._

Miyuki reached over to grab some popcorn, feeling his pitcher tense up.

"Jesus, relax, I want some popcorn." The catcher said before rolling his eyes.

He noticed how the blush on his pitcher's face only darkened.

As time passed, Miyuki found himself more entertained with Sawamura's reactions to the movie than the plot line itself. The southpaw had shrieked quite a few times, it was usually then accompanied by Miyuki's soft laughter.

"It's not funny!" Sawamura hissed.

"You're right, it's hilarious!" Miyuki said as the credits rolled by.

"You're so full of yourself!" Sawamura grounded out.

"Ah! Thank you!" Miyuki said with a smile.

"Ugh!" The pitcher pitched a piece of popcorn at his catcher.

The piece hit Miyuki right in the forehead, effectively startling him into a silence.

"I'm thinking a comedy." Sawamura said as he set the bowl aside and crawled over to the stack of movies he had found downstairs.

"Did you just throw popcorn at me?" Miyuki as while raising a brow.

"So, Mall Cop or Grown Ups? I'm in the mood for stupid comedy." The pitcher continued nonchalantly.

"Eijun." Sawamura froze at the tone of Miyuki's voice.

He'd never get over how easily his name rolled off of his catcher's tongue.

"Did you seriously throw popcorn at me?" Miyuki continued.

"Yea? So?" The pitcher asked nervously.

The seconds of silence that followed only made him anxious as he held both suggested movies in his hands.

"I-" Sawamura started, apology on the tip of his tongue when a piece of popcorn hit him in the forehead.

"Grown Ups." Miyuki said, smirk in place.

0_0_0_0

"Gaming? Again..." Haruichi blew out a sigh.

Kuramochi stopped a couple steps in front of him, small frown on his face as he turned.

"Do you not like video games?" The shortstop asked.

"That's not it... I'm just... tired of fighter games I suppose." Haruichi mumbled.

Kuramochi opened and then closed his mouth.

 _That's all I have..._

Haruichi, as if reading Kuramochi's mind, smiled before speaking.

"I'm really good at racing games, I got one recently. I haven't opened it..." The pinklet trailed off.

Kuramochi's own smile grew.

"Let's test it out."

Haruichi could only nod happily as excitement bubbled in his stomach.

 _God.. You have no idea what you do to me..._

Kuramochi waited for the second baseman to match his strides before walking towards said second baseman's dorm room to grab the game.

0_0_0_0

Contrary to most beliefs, both Miyuki and Sawamura did not have a popcorn battle before settling down for the movie.

Sawamura made himself comfortable right next to his catcher. Said catcher's eyes stayed on the screen, squinting somewhat when he chuckled.

As the movie continued, Sawamura startled when a weight fell on his shoulder. He turned towards his catcher, slightly surprised to see that the other had fallen asleep on his shoulder for the second time that weekend.

"Is this me gaining your trust Miyuki?" Sawamura murmured.


	11. Chapter 11

**This is where I advise you to turn away if you are triggered by self harm.**

 **If you need someone to talk to, I'm always open to you sending me a private message, especially if my fic make you want to talk to someone.**

 **Thanks for reading and for supporting me.**

 **This fic will be 30 chapters, (im working on the 30th chapter as we speak :D)**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 11**

"How did you do that?!"

Haruichi only smirked as his fingers swept across his controller. His car drifted right by Kuramochi's lapping the shortstop before hitting the finish line.

"Heh, I win again." Haruichi said before leaning back onto the bed frame.

"You're cheating, I donno how, but you are." Kuramochi huffed before setting his controller down.

"Has it ever crossed your mind that you're just not good at racing games?" The pinklet suggested.

"I resent that thought." Kuramochi said before hitting the off switch on the TV and plopping himself down next to Haruichi.

"You're just jealous that I'm better at the game than you are."

Kuramochi rolled his eyes before leaning his head on Haruichi's small shoulder.

"I also resent that thought."

"The results don't lie Yoichi." Haruichi retorted before chuckling.

"Mhm..." The shortstop murmured.

"Are you falling asleep?" Haruichi asked, his voice soft.

"Maybe." Kuramochi stated, his eyes falling closed.

"Did me winning tucker you out that much?"

"Better watch it Kominato." Kuramochi huffed.

When Haruichi didn't answer, Kuramochi cracked an eye open and sat right up.

Haruichi had a pout on his face that the shortstop just couldn't pass up. He pulled Haruichi into his arms, and chuckled softly at the other's gasp of surprise.

"How do you expect me to hold myself back if you show me that type of expression?" The shortstop murmured before smiling.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura stirred when he felt the blow up mattress move from someone else's weight shifting. He opened his eyes to see Miyuki pushing himself up.

 _Shit, I fell asleep next to him?!_

The southpaw kept his eyes open at the bare minimum as he watched the catcher grab something from his bag and head for the door.

 _Bathroom?.._

Sawamura turned over on the mattress and momentarily froze as he felt warmth from the bed.

 _Jesus... Am I sleeping with a bloody furnace?_

He thought as he rolled back over to his side. He glanced at his clock and cocked his head.

 _Did he get lost?_

The southpaw pushed himself up and stretched his arms.

 _Since I'm up anyways... Might as well relieve myself._

The first year pitcher scratched at his stomach as he made his way down the hall towards the bathroom. His eyes were immediately drawn to the light that shone through the bottom of the closed door.

 _What is he doing? He gonna miss without the damn light?_

The pitcher leant his back against the wall next to the door.

 _Maybe I can scare the shit outta him when he opens the door. Hopefully he doesn't scream and wake the house up._

A small smirk made its way over Sawamura's lips. The thought of Miyuki jumping out of his skin was something he couldn't fathom, though he wanted it to happen; for all of the crap the catcher had pulled on him of course.

 _You're holding up a line here Miyuki, I gotta pee, let's go!_

Sawamura drummed his fingers against his forearm as he waited for Miyuki to finish up his business. That was when Sawamura registered heavy breathing from the bathroom.

 _Oh hell no, you better not be doing what I think you're doing you four-eyed demon!_

A blush spread across Sawamura's cheeks as he listened to Miyuki's laboured breathing.

0_0_0_0

Furuya lay in front of his TV. Nothing was playing, the screen was black.

 _"Why don't you ask her out?"_

 _"Because she's in love with Miyuki."_

 _"And?..."_

 _"I don't want to hurt her or burden her with feelings I know she doesn't return. I would hate myself if I took her smile away."_

Furuya bit into his lower lip.

 _Am I gonna take his smile away?... Is it so bad to want to monopolize that smile?... Is it so bad that I just want him to look at me the way he looks at Kuramochi?.._

Furuya flopped back down on his dorm room's floor.

 _I hate this... empty feeling... Not even pitching makes it go away..._

0_0_0_0

Miyuki opened his eyes slowly to see a snoring pitcher mere inches from his face. He groggily pushed himself up off the bed.

 _Did I fall asleep during the movie?... Oops._

He was planning on going back to Sawamura's bed when something caught his attention. The moon light from the bedroom window had bounced off of something in his own bag. Miyuki's blood went cold as he made his way over to his bag.

 _What the hell am I doing?_

He bent down and picked up the shiny piece of metal, shoving it into his sweater's pocket before straightening back up.

 _I come here and what? I'm all sunshine and rainbows with Eijun and his family? Yea right Kazuya. You're so pathetic._

Miyuki's hand tightened around the metal in his pocket as his feet padded down the hallway. Once in the bathroom, Miyuki shut the door as quietly as possible before hitting the light switch. He turned back towards the door, contemplating what he would do if he had woken anyone up. He reached towards the door and locked it, not wanting to take any chances with anything.

The catcher slowly rolled up his sleeve to reveal bandages. He slowly got to work tearing the bandaging off to reveal several jagged scars, along with the new one he had put there not too long ago.

 _Are you really gonna do this here?.._

Images of dinners with Sawamura's family flashes across his mind, followed by images of countless dinners spent at a vacant table. Miyuki clenched his teeth as he pulled the sharp metal from his sweater's pocket.

With a sharp intake of breath, Miyuki ran the blade across the inside of his forearm. He didn't even wince at the oh so familiar burn that followed in the tracks that the blade had left behind. The catcher's breath started to get heavier as blood dripped off of his arm and into the porcelain sink that ordained the bathroom.

 _I think my mum has already practically adopted you as her son, so hey, you can always come by again._

Miyuki bit into his cheek.

 _Hey... Don't you know... I'm still here?..._

Seven year old Miyuki's voice echoed in his head. Images of his father leaving early in the morning and coming home late at night flashed through his head.

 _Mom's dead...Why do you act like I don't exist?... I'm still here..._

Miyuki clenched his fist, causing blood to build up quicker in this cut.

 _It's really lonely you know?..._

Miyuki felt himself gasping in pain. Not pain from his arm, he had felt that pain many times before. He found salvation in that pain.

"Why am I so fucked up?..." The catcher whispered under his breath.

Miyuki seemed to finally snap out of his trance when he realized that he needed to cover the cut up. He hadn't brought anything from his bag into the bathroom.

 _I'm such a fucking idiot..._

Leaving his arm over the sink, he pulled drawers open until he found bandaging in one.

Miyuki had one hell of a time bandaging up his arm with one hand, never having quite gotten the hang of it. He had turned the sink on and had used Kleenex to gently dab at the blood that had accumulated on his arm. He winced as he touched at the fresh cut. The sink filled with water that held a pink tint.

He slowly finished wrapping his arm before he picked the piece of metal up off the counter. He glared at the metal for several long seconds before running it under the tap water as well. Shoving the blade, along with the Kleenex and dirtied bandaging, into his sweatshirt pocket and forcing the sleeve back down and over the offending wound, Miyuki made absolutely sure that he had cleaned any traces of his breakdown away.

The catcher pulled the bathroom door open before hitting the light switch. He took a deep breath before taking a step. As he opened his eyes he could only feel bile rise in his throat.

0_0_0_0

"Can I stay here tonight, don't wanna wake my roommate." Haruichi mumbled as he pulled away from Kuramochi's arms, blush engulfing his features.

"Yea, use Sawamura's bed." Kuramochi said as he stood.

The shortstop than proceeded to pull his shirt off in favor of a baggy t-shirt for sleeping. Haruichi couldn't help it, he let his eyes roam over Kuramochi's back, hungrily taking the sight in.

"If you keep staring I'm going to have to charge."

Kuramochi only smirked as he saw Haruichi's cheeks darken in color.

 _Aw man... I'm gonna need a cold shower every day at this point..._

The shortstop shook his head before climbing up to his bunk and burying his face into his pillow.

 _Ryosuke is most definitely going to kill me for these thoughts..._

0_0_0_0

"Holy crap! I thought I was gonna explode!" Sawamura hissed as Miyuki set foot out of the bathroom. "What the hell were you doing? Taking a freaking nap?!" The southpaw exclaimed before stepping towards the bathroom.

He stopped short when he felt Miyuki's fingers wrap around his wrist. When he looked back towards the catcher he couldn't help but feel nervous. Miyuki's eyes seemed to be begging him for something, what, the pitcher had no clue. At the same time, Miyuki's hand was shaking.

Sawamura's eyes widened before he turned back towards his catcher.

"What's wrong?" He whispered, his voice so uncharacteristically low.

Miyuki simply shook his head, leaving the pitcher fairly lost.

"You gotta tell me what's wrong, I can't read your mind Kazuya..."

Miyuki's head snapped up, eyes meeting Sawamura's. Sawamura's widened in return; so many emotions were running through his catcher's eyes, he couldn't possible read them all, but he saw one prominent one; fear.

Sawamura pulled his wrist from Miyuki's grasp before grabbing the catcher's hand and dragging him back towards his room. Said catcher stayed silent as Sawamura pushed the door closed behind them. Sawamura watched as Miyuki sat on the bed and put his head in his hands. His breath was shaky, scaring the pitcher.

As Sawamura took a step towards Miyuki, he couldn't help but pick up a singular sentence that made his heart clench.

"I'm such a fuck up..." As soon as the words left Miyuki's lips, Sawamura's whole body froze.

 _What?..._

Sawamura shook his head, breaking from his frozen state to instead move towards his catcher, reaching towards the boy.

"Kazuya-"

"Stop. I don't want your pity." Miyuki said before smiling with no amusement.

It was the most painful expression Sawamura had seen from the catcher yet.

"It wasn't-"

"Yes it was." Miyuki said, cutting the pitcher off again. "And I don't need it."

"I'm telling you that it wasn't-"

"No really, I don't need to be pitied by my lower class man, if that isn't a punch to the gut, I donno what is..." Miyuki said before laughing humourlessly.

"Damn it Kazuya! Lemme finish a goddamn sentence!" The pitcher hissed.

Miyuki looked up at his pitcher. Sawamura physically flinched. His catcher's expression, expressionless.. and yet... so much pain was written in his features.

"Do I scare you?" Miyuki asked with a small chuckle.

"Stop that." Sawamura mumbled.

"What? Breathing?" Miyuki asked, huffing.

"No." The pitcher said before shaking his head profusely. "Stop pretending you're fine when you're so far from it."

Miyuki's forced smile slipped off his lips.

"What do you want me to do then?" The catcher whispered.

"I want you to talk to me." Sawamura said gently.

Miyuki laughed bemusedly.

"And what? Puke my soul out for you to laugh at? How about you laugh at how I'm so fucking jealous of your family it's eating me up inside. I'm so jealous that you can go home on the weekends whenever you want and have a warm smile and a hug from your father. I'm jealous that you can walk into your house and hear your mother's voice and feel her warmth when she hugs you." Miyuki hissed. "How about you laugh at the fact that being captain of the bloody team is scaring the living shit out of me? I have to watch every single word that leaves my lips or I might ruin the team's chemistry. How about we laugh at the fact that I'm so in love with one of my bloody pitchers that it fucking scares the shit out of me?" Miyuki's eyes flew open at his last sentence.

The catcher's words had caught Sawamura very much off guard, he was staring at Miyuki with a bug eyed expression.

Miyuki took a second to collect himself before laughing.

"Aha... Just kidding... I... Night." The catcher quickly hid himself under the many comforters that were stacked on Sawamura's bed.

A couple minutes of silence passed by, leaving Sawamura with wide eyes and a very tense Miyuki under the covers.

"Hey Kazuya.."

"Shut up, I'm sleeping."

"Why did it take you so long to talk to me about it?" The pitcher asked softly.

Miyuki threw the covers off of himself and sat up before levelling the pitcher with a heated glare.

"You need to forget everything I just said. It was stupid of me. I wasn't thinking and-" Miyuki's words were cut off mid sentence by a very forward pitcher.

A few seconds passed by before Sawamura pulled back.

"I need you to forget about holding that back anymore. I know I won't forget what you said no matter what you threaten me with. You need to realize that you can rely on people Kazuya."

The back of Miyuki's hand was pressed against his own lips as the pitcher spoke.

"Why did you do that?" The catcher muttered.

"Let's just say that I completely understand your problem of loving someone so much to point that it scares you that you could even love them so much." Sawamura said before smiling gently.


	12. Chapter 12

**SO,**

 **good news,**

 **no more waiting a week for the chapters because I have finished writing this fic,**

 **I will be uploading the next 18 chapters for y'all to enjoy so smile :D**

 **The content, as I have always said, can get heavy so viewers discretion** **is advised**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 12**

Haruichi lay staring at the wooden bottom of Kurmoachi's bunk.

 _Why won't he call me by my given name? He does for Ryosuke.. It's not fair..._

The pinklet began to chew on the inside of his cheek as these thoughts floated through his head.

 _Ah! I need to sleep!_

He flopped onto his side before bunching the blankets up beside him.

 _I'm gonna be tired tomorrow..._

He thought before sighing.

0_0_0_0

"Why did you do that?" Miyuki asked, ears tingeing a dark pink.

"Let's just say that I completely understand your problem of loving someone so much to point that it scares you that you could even love them so much."

Miyuki kept his eyes on Sawamura as said boy smiled down at him.

"Did you just confess to me?" He mumbled.

Sawamura's smile faltered as a blush consumed his cheeks.

"I... uh... Maybe?.." The pitcher said, flubbing over his words.

Miyuki watched in amazement as his obviously flustered pitcher refused to make eye content with him. He reached out and wrapped an arm around the southpaw's waist, ignoring the flare of pain from the newly inflicted scar, and pulled him into the bed.

Sawamura let out a small shriek of surprise before his eyes finally landed on Miyuki's. Miyuki was staring down at the pitcher, wonder lacing itself into his features.

"Why?" The catcher whispered.

"What do you mean why?" Sawamura asked with incredibility.

"How?" Miyuki prodded.

"You're not making any sense!" Sawamura hissed.

"I don't understand..." Miyuki muttered.

"Me either!" Sawamura said, clearly getting annoyed with the catcher.

Miyuki dipped his head and found Sawamura's lips, silencing the pitcher's complaints.

 _How can he like someone as broken as me?..._

Miyuki felt Sawamura relax underneath him. He felt the other boy's arms wrap themselves around his neck and pull him down so that there wasn't any space between them anymore. He could feel Sawamura's heart beat resonating through himself.

 _I'm only going to hurt you..._

Miyuki made to pull away from the pitcher but Sawamura only solidified his hold.

He leaned back slightly so that their lips parted. He watched Sawamura pant slightly, blush cascading all the way down his neck.

"Have I answered your questions?" The pitcher answered with a sly smile.

"Why me?" Miyuki murmured before pressing his forehead against Sawamura's shoulder.

"That's a stupid question." Sawamura said before huffing.

"Answer it anyways." Miyuki murmured.

"It's because it is you." Sawamura murmured.

"How evasive." Miyuki said before chuckling softly.

"Now you know how it is to have conversations with yourself." The pitcher retorted.

Miyuki merely smirked.

"You're an idiot." Miyuki muttered.

"And yet you like it." Sawamura stated matter of factly.

"I won't deny it." Miyuki said before sighing.

0_0_0_0

Furuya sat up and rubbed at his eyes. His back hurt from falling asleep on the hard wood floor. He got up on his feet, swaying slightly because he was so tired.

 _All this liking and not liking... It makes me want to sleep forever..._

The pitcher flopped onto his bunk and closed his eyes.

 _Hey Haruichi... Do you think you could ever look my way?... Or was I never even an option?..._

Furuya sighed into his pillow heavily. A glance at his clock told him he better get some more sleep if he wanted to not be cranky for practice tomorrow.

0_0_0_0

"Are you going to let me sleep or?.."

Sawamura blushed even louder than he already was. Miyuki wouldn't deny it, He loved teasing the southpaw to the point where the other was pink with embarrassment.

Sawamura slowly pulled his arms away from Miyuki, allowing the catcher to roll over and next to him. Something out of the corner of his pitcher's eyes caught his attention.

"Oh... You're bleeding."

Three words. Five syllables. Fifteen letters. It was all it took to shatter the strong and confident boy that everyone saw the catcher to be.

Miyuki wrenched his arm away from his pitcher.

"Kazuya?.." Sawamura asked softly, reaching for his catcher's arm.

"Dont touch me!" Miyuki hissed, sitting up so quick it made him dizzy.

He missed the look of hurt that passed through the southpaw's features as he took a second to focus. After he had gathered his bearings, he tried to stand up, but two arms made their way around his waist, stopping him from getting up.

"Let go." He demanded, his voice promising a problem if he was left unanswered.

"I didn't know..." Sawamura whispered.

Miyuki clenched his teeth. Why could he only feel that his sweater was damp now? Why hadn't he noticed before his pitcher did?

Sawamura pressed his forehead in between Miyuki's shoulder blades on his back.

"I didn't know that it was this bad..." The southpaw finished.

"Stop it." Miyuki half growled. "Let go of me. I don't need your goddamn pity!"

"I wonder why it is..." Sawamura said in a soft voice.

"Shut up. Let go." Miyuki started to struggle, but the pitcher merely steeled his hold on the older boy.

"Why am I not allowed to be concerned about you?.."

"Stop it." Miyuki said, his free hand pushing against the pitchers intertwined fingers. "You... I can't.. You wouldn't understand!" Miyuki continued.

Miyuki could feel his heart going way too fast and had an inkling that his pitcher could as well.

"Kazuya..."

The way his pitcher said his name made him want to puke. It held so much emotion in it. So much love that he didn't deserve.

"Let me go!" The catcher hissed.

"Calm down." The pitcher demanded in a very serious tone.

The tone scared Miyuki. He had never heard his pitcher speak with so much power before. He glanced out the corner of his glasses.

"Why won't you let me go?" The catcher whispered.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura felt himself shiver slightly at Miyuki's broken voice.

 _I... I had no idea... How come I never noticed?_

"I'm never going to let you go..." The pitcher whispered. "God... I'm such a failure as a battery partner..." The southpaw continued, clenching his jaw.

Miyuki had stopped struggling.

"I don't get it... You should be disgusted..." Miyuki whispered.

"Damn it Kazuya, stop thinking everyone is out to get you!" The pitcher hissed, levelling his catcher with a harsh glare.

His eyes only soften when Miyuki flinched.

"Listen to me you four-eyed idiot and listen good." Sawamura began. "No more of this secrecy stuff. If you need someone to talk to, come to me. I don't care what it's about, come to me." He said, his voice harsh and demanding. "Don't move." He ordered before standing up.

The pitcher left the room, one destination in mind; the washroom. Picking up the supplies he needed, the pitcher made his way back to his room. He was pleased to see that Miyuki hadn't moved from where he had left him.

Sawamura closed his door and hit his light switch with his shoulder. Both he and Miyuki recoiled from the harsh lighting they weren't used to. The southpaw dumped his supplied on his bed before turning towards Miyuki. His eyes trailed to where he had noticed blood. Miyuki's green sweatshirt now held a burgundy splash to it.

"I'm taking your sweater off." Sawamura declared.

Miyuki didn't move, much less utter a word as his sweater was peeled off of him. Sawamura's eyes roamed both the catcher's arms, clearly unamused by the fact that they were both bandaged up.

"I'm taking the bandaging off." The pitcher said as he slowly unwrapped the blood splashed bandaging.

He reached over and grabbed the small face cloth that he had ran under warm water. He slowly dabbed at the skin that surrounded the gash that Miyuki had ripped across his skin. Miyuki winced when he got anywhere near the cut so he stayed away from it with the warm cloth. He was only cleaning the arm off. Every inch that he cleared scarlet from, he found a different scar. Each time he found a scar, it felt like a punch to the gut.

"I can do it..." Miyuki's voice seemed so hollow.

"No. I'm doing it." Sawamura said, forcing his voice to stay level.

He reached towards the cotton balls and rubbing alcohol.

"This is gonna hurt." The pitcher murmured.

He looked up into Miyuki's eyes, frowning at how empty they were.

Sawamura slowly unscrewed the cap around the rubbing alcohol and put some on the cotton ball. He set the bottle aside and took Miyuki's arm in his hands and gently dabbed the cotton ball on the ugly gash.

When Miyuki gasped in pain, Sawamura almost dropped the cotton ball as he looked up at his catcher.

"I'm sorry!" He apologized quickly before biting into his lip. "Just... bear with it for a little bit longer..."

When Sawamura had finished cleaning Miyuki's arm, he wrapped it in new bandaging before throwing the bloody bandaging into a bag in his small garbage. His eyes were drawn to Miyuki's sweatshirt pocket, seeing the bulge even though there was nobody wearing it.

He grabbed the bandaging and threw it in his bin. He heard something clatter against the ground and snapped his attention towards it. Miyuki's eyes bore into the offensive metal that lay on the ground mere feet from him.

"Garbage." Sawamura said with a satisfied nod before quickly grabbing the object and throwing it into the bin.

Once he was done, he pulled the bag out and tied it, hiding it in the corner of his room before going back towards Miyuki. He would throw it away tomorrow when no one was paying attention.

He bent down in front of his catcher and slowly wrapped his arms around the boy's waist. Miyuki flinched at the close contact, but Sawamura didn't pull away.

"I-"

"I'm so sorry..." Miyuki whispered, cutting off his pitchers words.

"Me too..." Sawamura whispered. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that all alone Kazuya..."

Miyuki's arms slowly began to lift before he wrapped them around the pitcher.

"Why haven't you pushed me away? Why don't I disgust you?..." The catcher's voice was so broken, so afraid.

"Kazuya... I could never push you away..." Sawamura whispered.

Miyuki's arms slowly fell back down.

"You're gonna wake up tomorrow... And you're gonna realize that it's just too much... That I'm just not worth it..."

Sawamura chuckled bemusedly, making Miyuki tense.

"I don't think you realize... Just how... much I like you." Sawamura whispered before pulling away. "I'm not saying you're perfect Kazuya, you're far from it."

Miyuki had a frown on his lips as the pitcher spoke.

"But I will be here for you when you think you're alone. I'm right beside you. All the time. Whenever you need me." Sawamura promised.

"Don't make promises you can't keep idiot." Miyuki mumbled, turning his attention away from his pitcher.

0_0_0_0

"I will keep this promise to you Kazuya. I will never betray your trust." The fierce light in the pitcher's eyes caught Miyuki off guard.

 _I want to trust you... I really do... But I don't know how..._

"I... Don't know what to say..."

Miyuki watched as Sawamura stood slowly. The pitcher bent down before pressing his lips against the catcher's forehead.

"Put your trust in me Kazuya. I need you as much as you need me." The pitcher murmured before walking over to his light switch and turning the lights off. "I'll see you in the morning, and don't worry... I won't tell anyone about this."

Miyuki watched the pitcher walk over to the blow up mattress.

"Eijun?"

"Hm?"

"Come here."

Miyuki waited for the pitcher to be mere inches from him before he pulled the boy in to the bed with him.

"I'm cold. Sleep in the bed with me." He muttered before throwing blankets over his pitcher.

"Goodnight Kazuya."

"Night Eijun…" Miyuki mumbled before slipping his glasses off and putting them on the overboard behind the bed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Random fact:**

 **The only reason Furuya is in this fic is because my Beta reader likes his character, so thank him if you love Furuya XD**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 13**

Kuramochi's phone went off, causing him to grumble about how he simply wasn't a morning person. The shortstop hit the off button on his phone to shut it up before climbing down to put his practice uniform on.

"Time to get up." He said shaking the first year's shoulder.

He dodged the hand that Haruichi shot out to grab him.

"I'm not falling for that one again. Do you want to run extra laps every morning?" He asked, raising a brow.

"You're no fun..." Haruichi grumbled as he sat up.

"Oh yea, I'm such a Grinch." Kuramochi said as he rolled his eyes.

"At least you know." Haruichi said as he ran his hands over his face.

 _This brat..._

Kuramochi made his way towards the pinklet and ruffled his hair with both his hands.

A sound of surprise left the second baseman's lips as his pink locks were thrown all over the place.

"Stop it!" he said, pushing at the shortstop's hands.

"Stop sassing me! You're getting to be worse than Ryosuke." Kuramochi stated before pulling his hands away.

Haruichi let his arms fall into his lap before looking up at Kuramochi.

"You know, I get compared to him for just about everything else, don't you think you could let me feel like you're looking at me and not just my brother's damn shadow in this relationship?" The pinklet stated before standing and leaving, leaving a very stunned Kuramochi in his wake.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura's eyes slowly peeled open as the sunlight shone on them. He was greeted with Miyuki's hair in his face. Most people would complain about space and such, but he couldn't be happier with the catcher beside him.

The pitcher moved his arm a bit so that he was more comfortable as he relaxed.

"Morning..." Miyuki murmured from beside him, making the southpaw jump.

"Morning." Sawamura answered with an oh so bright smile.

His smile must have been contagious, because he saw Miyuki's lips curve into a small one.

"I'm sorry that you had to deal with that last night." The catcher murmured, sleep making itself present in his voice as he sat up.

"You know, good things came from last night." The pitcher said, smile growing.

"Oh? Do tell." Miyuki said while raising a brow.

"Hm, like this." Sawamura said while sitting up.

He pecked Miyuki's lips before smiling.

"I couldn't do that before, I've always wanted to, and now I can." Sawamura said, his smile glowing brighter than the sun.

Miyuki sat bewildered for a couple of seconds before smirking and pulling the pitcher back towards him.

"You donno what you're signing up for." The catcher warned.

"How exciting. To be fair, we never know what we're signing up for when you're part of the equation."

"True." Miyuki whispered before pressing his lips against the pitcher's.

"Not gonna lie, I could get used to this." Sawamura murmured happily.

0_0_0_0

Haruichi made his way towards his room, shoving his small hands into his pocket as he walked. They were clenched in tiny fists, showing how aggravated he was. He pushed his dorm room door open and stalked towards his dresser. He pulled the drawers open more aggressively than usual and pulled his practice uniform out.

"Oi, what did the dresser and clothing ever do to you?" His roommate joked from where he was sitting up.

"I'm sorry, I thought you weren't here." Haruichi mumbled.

"It's fine. Are you fighting with your boyfriend?"

Haruichi froze midway through pulling his shirt off.

"No." He said before finishing and pulling Seido's shirt over his head.

"Oh... Well, I mean, if you want..."

"I'm fine." Haruichi finished the sentence off.

The pinklet finished changing before grabbing his sport's bag.

"I'll see you on the field." The second baseman said before pulling the door closed.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki stood in front of the stove, monitoring eggs as Sawamura grabbed plates. Sawamura's mother had stepped out early morning to get some shopping done and his father and grandfather had decided to catch a recently hyped movie to get out of the house, so the boys were left to their own devices for the time being.

"It smells amazing." The southpaw commented as he placed the two plates next to the catcher.

"I'm still amazed that you couldn't cook something so simple." Miyuki snickered.

"It's not my fault!" The pitcher whined. "I can't do it if nobody teaches me." Sawamura pouted.

"Then watch me do it." Miyuki said as he used the spatula to flip the eggs on the pan, careful not to break the yoke.

"Let's face it, I'm never gonna be able to cook like a freaking god." The southpaw whined.

"Are you calling me a god?" Miyuki asked with a brow raised.

"A cooking god." Sawamura affirmed.

Miyuki rolled his eyes, though his trademark smirk was still on his lips. He used the spatula to put the two ready eggs on the first plate.

"Can I trust you to make toast without burning the house down?" Miyuki joked.

"I can make toast Kazuya!" Sawamura huffed as he opened the bread bag and made to pop the toast into the toaster.

"God I love it when you say my name." Miyuki murmured to himself.

The pitcher glanced towards him with a brow raised.

"You don't have some weird name fetish, do you?"

"I suppose you'll just have to find out." Miyuki said, turning a smirk towards his pitcher.

"You're such a weirdo..." The pitcher mumbled.

"And yet you fell for me, what does that say about you?" Miyuki asked, amusement dancing in his eyes.

"I like moody catchers?" The pitcher retorted with a shrug.

"Oh, I'm wounded." Miyuki sighed dramatically.

"You're burning the eggs!"

"Are you kidding, I'm not you." Miyuki stated before flipping the new eggs over, revealing a golden glow to the egg.

"I'm super jealous of your cooking skills." Sawamura pouted.

"I donno why you would be, I'm cooking for you too." Miyuki said as he turned the stove off, placing the eggs on the last plate.

Sawamura made enough toast for the both of them before coming over to the table where the catcher had put the plates.

"Thanks for the food." Sawamura said before sitting next to Miyuki.

Miyuki grabbed a piece of toast before breaking the yoke on his egg and taking a bite.

 _I could get used to this too..._

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi made his way towards the field, eyes peeled for his infield partner. His eyes were drawn towards said partner as he made his way towards the first field. He went to run towards the boy when he realized who he was talking with; Furuya.

It wasn't hard for Kuramochi to see how tense Haruichi was with annoyance. He, of course, hadn't meant to hurt the little second baseman.

"I came by cause I don't have classes until later... Can't say I regret coming. What did you do?"

Kuramochi nearly jumped out of his skin.

 _Do you have a bloody tracker?!_

"Morning Ryosuke..." The shortstop mumbled.

"What did you say to Haruichi?" The prior second baseman asked, eyes trailing on his younger brother.

"It's just a small misunderstanding..." Kuramochi said, not looking at his upper class man.

"That's not what I asked." Ryosuke stated.

 _I feel like the words would hurt Ryosuke... Explaining that Kominato feels left behind in his shadow... I don't think it's my place to explain it either._

Ryosuke must have seen his conflicted expression, because he simply sighed before turning back towards his little brother.

"Then I'll talk to him myself..." The prior second baseman stated before walking towards the first years.

0_0_0_0

"Haruichi."

Haruichi jumped before turning towards the voice he knew all too well.

"Ryosuke?.." He asked, forcing a smile to his face.

"What? Are you trying to hide that you're hurt from even me?" Ryosuke asked with a knowing smile.

Furuya glanced between the brothers before excusing himself, talking about some pitcher's warm up.

"Is it not going well with Yoichi?" Ryosuke continued.

 _How does he know?... Scratch that... of course he would find out..._

"It's fine."

"Really, Yoichi doesn't seem to think so." Ryosuke retorted.

Haruichi's hands clenched once more.

"It's stupid on my part, don't worry about it." Haruichi said before shaking his head.

"Tell me about it." Ryosuke coaxed.

"I'd rather not." Haruichi turned away.

"Did he force you into something you didn't want?"

Haruichi shivered at his brother's ominous aura change.

"No! Of course not!" Haruichi said quickly, waving his hands in front of himself. "I.. Threw a jealousy fit this morning... It was really stupid." Haruichi said before sighing.

0_0_0_0

Ryosuke rose his brows in amazement.

"Really now? Is there someone else that interested in Yoichi?" The prior second baseman asked.

Ryosuke had to fight fairly hard not to choke on those words.

 _God... That was pathetic... Playing the big brother role sucks right about now…_

"Not that I know of..." Haruichi said before sighing. "Anyways. That wasn't the problem. I'm going to apologize to him... Just not right now." The current second baseman said before smiling. "Thanks for coming over to say hi."

Ryosuke sighed before smiling.

"You better work on your dives. I saw some of your practice yesterday, Yoichi is trying to sync with you more than you are with him. Make his life a little more easier and meet him half way instead of dumping all the work on him ok?" Ryosuke said before waving over his shoulder. "Work hard and I'll come watch the tournament games with the other guys."

"Ok!" Haruichi said with a smile, waving as Ryosuke walked away.

0_0_0_0

"I donno if I can trust you to wash that plate, you did almost break one since I've been here." Miyuki teased as the boys stood to bring their dishes over to the sink.

"You surprised me!" Sawamura exclaimed as he set his dish on the counter and turned the tap on.

The southpaw grabbed a sponge and made to spray some soap on it.

"Well, I'm a mystery, remember?" The catcher said before putting his plate on top of his pitcher's and grabbing the drying cloth.

Sawamura pouted as he cleaned the dishes, handing each to Miyuki before moving on to the next one.

"I seriously want to kiss you, stop making that expression." Miyuki stated, smirk in place as Sawamura's face darkened into a bush.

"Then... Just do it.." The pitcher mumbled.

Miyuki cast the pitcher a side long glanced before slowly wrapping his arms around him from behind.

"You make it very difficult.." Miyuki murmured into the pitcher's ear.

Sawamuram had momentarily tensed before relaxing into Miyuki's hold. He reached over and put the sponge on the side before hitting the tap to turn it off.

"Yea... That's me, I make pretty much everything a difficult task." The pitcher said, letting his eyes close as he leant into Miyuki's chest.

"You know that's not what I meant." Miyuki said with a roll of his eyes.

"Nope. I'm an idiot remember? You gotta spell it out for me." Sawamura said, sly grin taking over his features.

"Remind me why I even agreed to this?"

"Actually you haven't yet."

"I was pretty sure that kiss counted as my answer." Miyuki retorted with a small chuckle.

"Hm..." Sawamura pouted.

Miyuki rolled his eyes before squeezing the boy.

"Yes, I'll start a relationship with you." Miyuki murmured so quietly the pitcher had to strain his ears to hear him.

"I'm home boys!"

Sawamura's mother walked into the kitchen with her grocery bags, only to see two very embarrassed teens, standing meters apart. She rose a brow at both boys before setting her bags down on the table.

"Should I even ask?" She asked as she placed her hands on her hips.

Sawamura let an awkward chuckle leave his lips before making his way over to the bags.

"Want help putting the groceries away?" He asked, pink blush slowly receding.

"Sure hun." Ms. Sawamura said, smiling before she herself started to put the groceries away.

Miyuki turned towards the two before helping out as well.

"Oh thanks dear, you didn't have to do that." Sawamura's mother said, tapping Miyuki's shoulder lightly as he passed by to put something in the cupboard.

"My pleasure." Miyuki said over his shoulder.

"What time are you kids heading back?"

"Thinking of leaving around one ish. Grab the 1:40 train." Sawamura said as he grabbed something to put into the freezer.

"Did you have to go back so early? Are you sure you can't stay for dinner?" Sawamura's mother asked with a pout.

"Common mum, both Kazuya and I have already missed two days, going on three, of practice, I wanna be able to catch afternoon practice and settle before school tomorrow."

Sawamura's mother rose a brow at her son's words.

"Well, I see this weekend has only brought the two of you closer."

Unfortunately for Sawamura, those words brought back the remnants of his blush with a vengeance.

 _You have no idea…_


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm legit Prince of Stride trash o.o'' I've started shipping the blonde that looks like Armin with the shogi player XD send help lol**

 **also, there's a 50% off reference in here, I hope you find it XD**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 14**

"I'm not gonna lie, I missed it." Sawamura said with a smile.

The two boys stood in front of the Seido dorms, bags at their feet as they stretched from the long ride.

"I can't wait to get my hands on a ball! Catch my pitches Kazuya!" The southpaw shouted enthusiastically.

"You didn't even make it thirty seconds." Miyuki said, chuckling softly.

Sawamura cocked his head to the side a bit, clearly lost.

"Never mind idiot." Miyuki said as he rolled his eyes.

Before Sawamura could blow up, the first string catcher spoke again.

"I'll wait for you after putting my bag away, let's at least eat dinner before we practice."

Sawamura's features broke out into a huge grin at Miyuki's words.

"Aha! You've finally accepted that I will be the ace for this team so you have to catch my pitches!" He bellowed.

"Hm?" Miyuki asked, already half way up the stairs to get to his dorm. "Did you say something?" The catcher asked innocently.

"Don't lie Kazuya! You heard my wise words!" The southpaw stated as he ran to catch up with the catcher.

The pitcher missed the small smile that had graced his catcher's lips as he turned away and continued to walk.

 _That title is slowly becoming more visible for you, isn't it Eijun?_

0_0_0_0

"So…"

The atmosphere was thick even though the sun still shone above their heads.

"God… You can cut the bloody air with a knife…" Kanemaru muttered as he took a sip of his water bottle. "Alright! I've had enough! I'm gonna lock the both of you in a bloody closet if you don't talk about it." He called out before standing.

Kuramochi, who was fiddling with his baseball bag, shot a glare towards his junior.

"What was that?" He demanded, the aura around him growing rather dark.

Nobody knew when Kanemaru had grown the power to not flinch away from his on edge upper class man, but they were all pretty grateful for it. The team was tired of avoiding both relationship parties all day. Both Haruichi and Kuramochi were walking time bombs.

"You need to talk to him. Aren't you supposed to be the older one?" Kanemaru stated with a roll of his eyes. "I'm tired of watching him mope around the bloody field! Fix it."

Kuramochi's eyes widened with surprise as his underclass man went off at him.

"Listen here brat-"

"Kuramochi."

Kuramochi had been mere seconds from pulling Kanemaru into a seriously uncomfortable wrestling move when he heard his name.

He looked over to see Haruichi leaning against the field's fence.

 _Doesn't he call me Yoichi now?_

"We need to talk." The pinklet continued.

"Thank god." Kanemaru murmured from beside the slightly uncomfortable shortstop.

"Yea, sure."

0_0_0_0

Haruichi hadn't said a single word for a solid ten minutes and it had Kuramochi incredibly tense as they walked around the field.

 _I donno what to say. I think I should be apologizing, but I don't know what for… I wasn't really… Ok, I did compare him to Ryosuke… but doesn't he understand that I'm with him and not his brother?_

"I was being a jealous idiot. I'm sorry."

Kuramochi jumped when he heard Haruichi's voice.

"Huh?"

"I shouldn't have snapped at you this morning. I just… I donno. I'm tired of people comparing me and my brother. I mean... I should have expected it after following him to the same high school… but-"

Haruichi's voice was cut off when he felt himself being pulled into Kuramochi's arms.

"I'm sorry, but let me put your mind at ease. I'm dating you, not your brother. I want you, not your brother. I like you more than I could ever like your brother." Kuramochi said softly.

Haruichi's eyes seemed to water, scaring Kuramochi somewhat.

"I want you to call me by my given name too…" He mumbled, leaning against the shortstop.

Kuramochi's eyes widened a fraction.

 _Is that why he didn't call me by my given name earlier, because I don't use his?_

"Haruichi." Kuramochi whispered right into the shorter boy's ear.

The shortstop smirked somewhat when he saw the warmth taking over Haruichi's cheeks.

"Again." Haruichi whispered.

"Haruichi." Kuramochi repeated, squeezing the boy in his arms.

"I'm sorry about today Yoichi." The pinklet murmured.

Kuramochi shook his head before pecking the unsuspecting second baseman's cheek.

"Dinner's gonna be ready soon." The shortstop said, pulling his arms away from around the pinklet's waist.

He laced his fingers in Haruichi's, smiling softly before the two of them made their way to the cafeteria. The smile made its way to Haruichi's lips as well.

0_0_0_0

"Oh, I'm very impressed. I wonder how Ryosuke is taking it." Miyuki muttered from beside the southpaw.

Sawamura looked up from his meal with a small raise of his brow before following Miyuki's sight line.

"Haruichi?.. And Kuramochi?!" The pitcher yelled, his eyes bugging out.

"I knew I smelt idiot." Kuramochi called, eyes landing on Sawamura's.

"Are you sure that it's not just you Yoichi?" Miyuki asked casually as Sawamura exploded in the background.

"Missed you too." Kuramochi stated with a smirk as he looked at Miyuki.

"Did you now? Couldn't manage without your captain, could you?" The catcher joked.

"I believe I managed just fine." Kuramochi smirked as he secretively pulled Haruichi towards him.

Miyuki's smirk only grew as he saw Kuramochi's hand curl around the pinklet's waist.

"Any late night visits from the demon?" Miyuki asked.

Kuramochi gave him a side long glance before shaking his head.

"He actually took it really well." The shortstop said before shrugging. "Anyways, just watching you eat is making me starve. Let's get some food?" The last sentence was directed towards Haruichi, who still had a blush on his face at the close proximity between him and his partner.

"S-sure." The pinklet said, looking down somewhat in an effort to hide his blush.

0_0_0_0

"Did you hear what he said to me?! Doesn't see me for a whole weekend and he calls me an idiot! How insensitive!" The southpaw grumbled unhappily.

"He's not wrong, you even admitted to it yourself this weekend." Miyuki stated with a smirk.

Sawamura glared at his catcher with anger.

"If you keep staring at me I'm gonna kiss you in front of the whole caf." Miyuki stated nonchalantly before taking another bite of food.

Sawamura pouted somewhat before focusing on his meal.

"You're no fair."

"How so?"

"Cause I want to be kissed… Just not in front of the whole team yet…"

Miyuki chocked somewhat on his food from his pitcher's very honest confession.

"I'm not known for being fair."

"You're right. You're known as a four-eyed catching demon."

"I don't feel like catching tonight." Miyuki drawled.

"I'm kidding! Saint! You're fantastic! Catching god!" The pitcher shouted.

"Honestly, shut up. You've been here not half an hour and I'm already tired of your voice." Kuramochi grumbled as he set his tray down.

"I don't mind the praise." Miyuki contributed with a small smirk.

0_0_0_0

"You knew the whole time, didn't you?" The shortstop asked as Miyuki shuffled around his room, grabbing his catching equipment.

"I had an inkling. It's not as if he really… broadcasted it? Simple glances here and there."

"Damn it… we were partners for two bloody years… I should have noticed."

"Instead, you set your sights on his little brother." Miyuki said with a smirk.

"You can't spell sass without 'ass' and you're being one." Kuramochi said, turning a pointed glare towards the first string catcher.

"Oh! That's a new one."

"Can you be serious for more than thirty seconds?" Kuramochi asked.

"If I try really hard." Miyuki stated with a shit eating grin.

"Please?"

"It's actually bugging you that much?"

"Let's hypothetically state that I had a crush on you. Hypothetically." Kuramochi started.

"I wouldn't blame you." Miyuki imputed as he zipped his equipment bag up.

"But I didn't tell you and you came to me for relationship advice-"

"Oh my god you're a dunce…"

"For Sawamura, and then I told you I had feelings for you. What would you feel?" The shortstop finished, the vein in his temple pulsating from Miyuki's annoying comments.

"Who says I have a thing for Eijun?" The catcher stated while raising a brow.

 _That's what you got from this? Also… You're using his first name and you call me a dunce?_

Kuramochi rose a brow but refrained from speaking.

"I guess I would feel a little… put off." Miyuki conveyed.

"Now multiply it by ten cause it's his younger brother…"

"I donno… The situation is pretty similar, you treat Eijun like your little brother."

Miyuki locked his room's door up before making his way towards the bullpen.

"I feel like such a dick." Kuramochi mumbled.

"I get that, but, it's not like you intentionally went to him, knowing that he had feelings, and then threw it in his face, right?.."

"Of course not!" Kuramochi's answer was instant.

"Then stop freaking out so much. On the plus side, I don't think there's anyone else that he would be so willing to let date his little brother." Miyuki said before shrugging.

Kuramochi stopped mid stride, the realization dawning on him.

"So, in a sense, you're saying he's happy for the both of us?"

"You wouldn't be breathing if he wasn't happy Yoichi." Miyuki said before flashing him an oh so innocent smile. "Now, I promised that idiot that I'd play catch with him and I plan on making it a living hell for him, so, if you don't mind."

Miyuki waved over his shoulder before turning the corner and making his way down to the bullpen. Kuramochi had a small smile on his face as he made his way towards his dorm room.

It wasn't often that he would talk to Miyuki about personal matters, he would usually seek Ryosuke out as a matter of fact, but he had needed to talk to someone about his issues. They'd been driving him near insane at this point. He knew well that talking to Miyuki entitled a lot of berating and teasing, but the catcher did end up shining some light onto the matter.

0_0_0_0

"It took you long enough! Did you expect me to wait here forever?" Sawamura huffed as Miyuki walked in, sports bag slung over his shoulder.

"I figured you'd wait for me." Miyuki said, flashing the pitcher his trademark grin. "All the other players are relaxing you know? And what am I doing? My energetic pitcher wants me to catch his pitches the night we get back. So much work." Miyuki drawled as he started putting his equipment on.

Sawamura huffed as he grabbed one of Miyuki's shin guards and began to hook it up as the catcher grabbed the chest plate and pulled it over.

"So kind." Miyuki said with a small smirk.

"One of us has to be." Sawamura murmured with a roll of his eyes.

"You wound me." Miyuki said dramatically.

Sawamura rolled his eyes before grabbing his glove and rolling his shoulders a bit. Miyuki did a couple of squats to get the kinks out of his legs. He hadn't practice all weekend, in retrospect, he should have brought his glove and at least played catch with the energetic first year.

"Give me a simple fast ball." He said as he squatted in behind the makeshift plate in the bullpen.

Sawamura nodded, eyes filling with the determination Miyuki loved to see blazing fire in the pitcher's golden eyes. Sawamura's leg raised in the air, his arm pulling back along with it. When his foot slammed into the ground under it, his arm came whipping out from behind him, sending the baseball flaming down from the mound and into Miyuki's glove. The satisfying noise of the ball landing in the mitt perfectly graced both the pitcher and catcher's ears.

"Nice ball." Miyuki commented with a smirk before sending the pitch back.

Sawamura could only smirk in return as his catcher squatted back behind the plate. He watched Miyuki's fingers move in a sign before he began his windup for the next pitch.

The sounds of the ball snapping in Miyuki's glove filled the air for quite some time before the catcher stood and lifted his face mask.

"That's it for tonight." He called as he made his way over to the bench.

"Ten more!" Sawamura stated, running up behind him.

"Nope, we gotta sleep at some point." He joked.

"Five?..." The pitched asked while pouting.

Miyuki smirked as he set his catcher's mask on the bench. He turned so fast and reached for the pitcher that Sawamura gasped in surprise. He brought the pitcher closer to him, smirk on his lips as he brought their faces closer.

"There's no one watching now." Sawamura stated, his eyes falling to Miyuki's lips.

Miyuki's lips help their smirk as he pushed unbearably close to the pitcher's lips, only to pull back.

Sawamura practically whined at how much of a tease his catcher was being.

"Do you want to keep pitching Mr. Wanna be Ace?" Miyuki asked, his voice low.

"You know exactly what I want right now you four-eyed demon catcher." Sawamura said as he looked up at his catcher.

Miyuki's eyes widened somewhat as his eyes locked with his pitchers. He read the trust, he read the lust, and he read the need that the pitcher wanted from him.

"How do you make it so impossible to say no?" Miyuki murmured, bringing up one of his hand to lift his first year's chin up slightly. "Push me away if you don't want me to do this."

A sound of annoyance left Sawamura's lips before Miyuki felt two hands ball up into his jersey and yank him forward, closing the space between them. The catcher let his eyes fall close, hand slipping from the pitcher's chin and instead finding the back of the younger boy's neck. He felt his sports glasses restricting him as he tried to press closer.

A sound of annoyance came from his own throat before the hand that was resting on Sawamura's neck raised to push his glasses up into his hair.

 _God… I could lose myself in this…_

He had to stop himself from whining in protest when Sawamura pulled back.

His pitcher's eyes opened. The catcher's vision was swimming a little without the use of his sports glasses. Miyuki's heart clenched with nervousness.

 _Did I do something wrong? Did I go to fast? Is he gonna get angry at me?_

Miyuki's eyes widened when Sawamura's hands left his shirt in favor of wrapping around his torso.

"God… I wish I would have told you sooner."

The pitcher's words surprised him. At the same time, they made his chest flutter with a rather warm feeling.

Sawamura then pulled away and reached up to grab Miyuki's cheeks, albeit gently. The catcher waited in anticipation of the pitcher's movements. Even without his glasses, he was able to read the smirk before Sawamura squished his cheeks and pulled away laughing.

"You should have seen your face." He said as he chuckled.

Miyuki rose a brow, reaching up to pull his glasses back down before fixing his pitcher with a small, playful glare.

"Weren't you the one saying we had to rest?" Sawamura challenged.

"Oh. I see." Miyuki said as he took his catchers equipment off.

He shoved it in his bag before slinging said bag over his shoulder.

"Kazuya." Sawamura called, getting his catcher to turn towards him.

The pitcher planted a chaste kiss on the unsuspecting catcher's lips before leaving the bullpen with a quick 'Night!'.


	15. Chapter 15

**This fic is like a heart meter; It has it's ups and downs,**

 **just remember, if this makes you cry, I cried while writing it too *innocent smile***

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 15**

Miyuki made his way towards his room with a small smirk on his lips.

 _Cheeky brat._

He couldn't help it though. God that southpaw just knew what he needed.

The catcher pushed his dorm's door open and set his bag down, heading over to his dresser to grab some comfortable clothes to crash in. It would have taking an earthquake to dampen the catcher's mood at this point.

A glance towards his phone brought that earthquake into motion.

'1 missed phone call; Dad' danced across the screen. Miyuki glanced at the time before sighing unhappily. He hit the call button before flopping into bed.

"Kazuya." His father answered after the second ring.

"Hey dad."

"Why did you miss my call?"

 _I'm doing fantastic, thanks for asking._

"I was catching. It's kinda hard to answer the phone when your pitcher demands the entirety of your attention." Miyuki said as he set his glasses beside him.

"Are you being smart with me?"

"Sorry." Miyuki hated how easily he bent at his father's words.

"When's your next game?"

"I'm sure you'll be working, honestly, I understand, it's fine-"

Miyuki didn't want his father near Seido. Near baseball. Baseball and the team, they were his sanction, the one light through the tunnel of darkness that the loss of his mother and metaphorical loss of his father put him in.

"Your next game?" His father demanded.

Miyuki bit into his lip, not liking this conversation what so ever.

"Two days from now." Miyuki mumbled.

"Speak up!"

"It's two days from now." Miyuki repeated.

"Text me the address and I'll be there. I hope for both our sakes that it's a good game."

That was it. The phone line went dead after those words.

"Yea. I love you to." Miyuki muttered before chucking his phone at the wall opposite to him.

0_0_0_0

"Why do I even try anymore?" Kuramochi grumbled.

"Aw, common Yoichi! You'll beat me eventually." Haruichi said with a small, coy smile as he pulled off a sharp turn in the video game while Kuramochi's car smashed into the rail.

"I give up!" Kuramochi said in a huff, tossing the controller aside.

"Sore loser." Haruichi said before rolling his eyes.

Kuramochi rose a brow before grabbing the pinklet and tossing him on Sawamura's bed. A squeak left the unsuspecting second baseman's lips.

"What are you doing?" Haruichi asked, pink engulfing his cheeks.

Kuramochi's smile held mischief as he climbed on top of his infield partner.

"Yoichi?.." Haruichi whispered, slightly concerned.

"Can I kiss you?" Kuramochi asked softly.

Haruichi's eyes widened somewhat before a smile broke out across his face.

"I thought you would never ask!" He exclaimed.

The pinklet reached up, winding his arms around his shortstop's neck, pulling the boy down somewhat. Kuramochi offered little resistance and let the smaller boy pull him in. It was gentle, a kiss only those who have never shared one could give. Sure it was a little awkward, but the boys didn't mind at all; this was all new to them.

When Kuramochi pulled back, he had a small smile on his lips.

"You're amazing, you know that?" He muttered.

Haruichi's cheeks managed to get darker before he yanked Kuramochi down for another kiss. This one was less gentle, the two of them working to find the other's comfort zone.

Of course the two had forgotten that Kuramochi's ever so energetic roommate was back in town.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura pushed the door open so that he could go to sleep. His whole face was on fire, still blushing from the little stunt he had pulled on Miyuki. Of course, he had not expected to open the door and find his best friend and roommate making out; on his bed no less!  
"Holy crap!" He practically shrieked.

Kuramochi looked up with a scowl while Haruichi at least had the decency to look sheepish.

"We're kinda busy." Kuramochi drawled.

"You couldn't do that on your own bed?!" The pitcher demanded.

"Get. Out." Kuramochi said, his voice dropping pretty low.

"Where am I supposed to sleep?!"

"I'm sure Miyuki will let you in." Kuramochi said, his glare burning into the southpaw.

Sawamura grumbled about inconsiderate upper class men before slamming the door in a huff.

 _I can't believe they kicked me out! And they were making out! In my bed!_

0_0_0_0

Miyuki's teeth were clenched as he sat crossed legged on his bed. He'd been in this situation too many times before. He had everything he needed, they were a couple steps away need be. For some reason, he sat, blade raised an inch above his bare arm, frozen. He couldn't bring it down.

He wanted to feel it. The fire that would spread through his arm when the blade cascaded across it. He wanted that pain to dull what his chest was giving him.

 _Why? Why are you coming now?_

Miyuki's grip on the blade tightened, making it less than comfortable to be carry. He couldn't remember when he picked it up to begin with. When had he gone on auto pilot? Was this so natural for him that it was on par with breathing?..

A growl of annoyance left the catcher's lips as he glared down at the blade. He ran the blade across his arm, just as someone knocked on the door.

The catcher's eyes widened. The pain he longed for… He couldn't feel it. His insides had gone ice cold, his heart beating much too fast.

"Kazuya? I was kicked outta my room… Lemme in."

That voice, he knew that voice. Hell! He knew it too well!

"I.. Can't." He whispered.

"Kazuya? Are you really gonna make me sleep outside?..."

"Not tonight… Please."

"Common… It's kinda chilly tonight… Let me in." Sawamura whined.

"Eijun. Please go back to your room." Miyuki said monotonously.

A few seconds past and Miyuki wondered if his pitcher had actually gone back to his respectful dorm.

"Open the door. Now."

Miyuki flinched at how demanding his pitcher's voice became.

"No. Not toni-"

"Kazuya. The door. Now."

Miyuki clenched his teeth.

 _I don't want you to see this! Not anymore than you had to! I don't want you to see me so.. So broken. Please Eijun… Please understand… I can't bear to feel like any more of a burden than I already am._

"Damn it Kazuya, if you don't open this bloody door, I'm going to break it." The pitcher said, his voice void of any humor.

It actually sort of frightened Miyuki. He'd only ever seen the pitcher so serious once, and of course, he'd been the cause, just like this time.

"I can't." Miyuki said defiantly.

"I will go get Katoaka."

Miyuki's blood ran cold.

 _The coach?... You'll get me kicked off the team… I'll.._

A small voice in the back of his head reminded him that, in the end, it really wasn't Sawamura that would get him kicked off the team, but his choices.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura heard a small click before Miyuki's door was pulled open. The first thing he noticed was that his catcher wasn't wearing his glasses. The second thing he noticed was how Miyuki tried to hide his arm behind him. Sawamura stepped into the room, pushing the door closed behind him before focusing on the catcher.

Miyuki had his eyes down cast as the pitcher stepped in, refusing to even look in his direction. Sawamura felt the very familiar sting in his eyes, the feeling bringing along watery eyes. He looked up and blinked in an attempt to stop them. He wouldn't cry, this wasn't the time. He reached towards Miyuki's arm, slightly deterred when the catcher avoided his touch.

Sawamura took a deep breath before reaching towards and grabbing his catcher's arm. He felt something sticky and warm on the catcher's arm and immediately identified the source.

"What happened?... Did I do something to upset you?.." The pitcher asked softly.

"No! It wasn't your fault!"

Sawamura jumped at Miyuki's loud voice. He looked up to see that Miyuki was actually looking at him, eyes holding a determination of sorts.

"God, it could never be your fault. Don't ever think it's your fault." The catcher said, a frown plastering itself on his lips.

"I don't understand… What happened? You… I thought that you were happy when we left the bullpen…" The pitcher mumbled unhappily.

He let go of Miyuki's arm and made his way towards Miyuki's bed. He found the blade, along with some droplets of blood, sitting on his bed. He picked up the blade and examined it curiously.

"It's a razor…" He mumbled.

Miyuki flinched at his pitcher's words.

"How many do you have?"

Miyuki looked at the groud.

"Hm?" Sawamura pressed.

"I… I donno.." The catcher murmured.

"Where are your bandages?"

Miyuki chewed on his lip as he pointed towards the bottom drawer of his dresser. Sawamura tossed the blade into the garbage as he passed the bin before bending down and pulling the bottom drawer open. He shuffled around the drawer before pulling out the bandages. He found a small medical kit in the bottom drawer of his dresser.

"Sit on the bed. I'll be there in a second." The pitcher said as he pulled out rubbing alcohol along with some cotton balls.

Sawamura heard Miyuki's feet shuffle towards the bunk before the bed creaked with his weight. There were drops of blood on the floor, though Sawamura didn't pay much attention to them as he made his way towards his catcher. He dropped to one knee in front of Miyuki, setting the medical supplies on the bed next to him.

Sawamura looked up at his catcher, searching his features for any emotion. He was met with anger and recoiled somewhat.

"I'm just trying to help out.." He muttered before reaching out towards Miyuki's arm.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki flinched away from Sawamura's hand.

 _Don't touch me… I don't… I don't want to taint you._

The look in his pitcher's eyes scared him. It was determination, mixed with a little bit of fear.

 _He's scared… of me?_

"What happened?... Did I do something to upset you?.." The pitcher asked softly.

Miyuki's attention snapped towards his pitcher, shock taking over his features.

"No! It wasn't your fault! God, it could never be your fault. Don't ever think it's your fault." Miyuki said, desperately trying to convey that it was in no way his pitcher's fault.

"I don't understand… What happened? You… I thought that you were happy when we left the bullpen…"

Miyuki visibly flinched as Sawamura's words.

 _You don't understand. You make me so happy… God… I can't remember the last time I felt that it was worth it to get out of bed…_

Miyuki's anxiety worked up as the pitcher went towards his bed.

 _It's a bad idea… please don't…_

"It's a razor…"

Miyuki flinched at his pitcher's words.

"How many do you have?" Sawamura asked, glancing towards the catcher.

The catcher wanted to close in on himself, to disappear.

"Hm?" Sawamura pressed.

"I… I donno.." Miyuki murmured.

"Where are your bandages?"

Miyuki pointed towards the bottom drawer of his dresser, visibly shaken by what was going on.

 _I didn't mean for you to see this…_

"Sit on the bed. I'll be there in a second." The pitcher said as he pulled out rubbing alcohol along with some cotton balls.

 _God.. I'm so fucking pathetic… Why did I let him see me in such a deplorable state?!_

"I'm just trying to help out.." The pitcher muttered, snapping Miyuki out of his endeavour.

As the pitcher reached for his bloodied arm, he tensed up. Sawamura looked up at him before sighing and taking Miyuki's arm in his hands gently. Miyuki watched as the pitcher used the bandages to wipe off the blood as best as he could before getting a cotton ball and dousing it in rubbing alcohol.

"This is gonna sting.." Sawamura mumbled.

Miyuki didn't bother answering. He didn't always clean the cuts he inflicted on himself, but when he did, he at least knew that the rubbing alcohol made the pain all the more worse, albeit for a short period of time.

He winced as Sawamura cleaned the cut, before letting the younger boy wrap his arm in new bandaging.

"Hey Kazuya..." Sawamura whispered, not looking up as he spoke. "What happened?"

Miyuki started chewing on the inside of his cheek, eyes turned away from his pitcher. He jumped when he felt a hand tap his cheek softly.

"Common Kazuya, put at least a little trust in me." Sawamura said with a small, pained smile.

Miyuki wanted to hug the pitcher in front of him, to erase the pain he'd just seen.

"It's not your fault.." Miyuki mumbled.

"I want you to tell me what's going on."

"I need you to understand that you will never be the reason.."

"Kazuya. I need you to talk to me. I don't need you to give me empty promises."

Miyuki's eyes widened, his chest tightening to the point that it was hard to breath. He shoved the pitcher back forcefully.

"Kazuya?" Sawamura asked, shock over taking his expression.

"Get out." Miyuki demanded.

"What?" Sawamura asked incredulously.

"Get out of my room!"

"I don't think that's a good idea…"

"No. You know what wasn't a good idea? Letting you in in the first place!" Miyuki said darkly. "Get the hell out."

Sawamura flinched away from Miyuki's harsh words, though the catcher didn't back down.

"Now." He growled.

Of course, he didn't miss the tears that began to fill his pitcher's eyes, and he would be lying if he didn't feel the least bit guilty that he was the one causing them.


	16. Chapter 16

**I'm re-reading these chapters and I'm just like "Oh, my god, BLAST FROM THE PAST. So much more happens in the chapters to come."**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 16**

He hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night.

 _I don't need you to give me empty promises._

Miyuki sat up with a growl of annoyance. He grabbed his glasses before padding across his room and picking up his phone, noticing a couple new cracks across the screen. The time screamed some unbearingly early hour in the morning.

There was no way he was going to sleep anymore, so the catcher threw on some clothes and grabbed his room keys before making his way to the door.

 _What am I even going to do?_

The catcher turned right back around and rummaged around his desk until he found his wallet.

 _Coffee at four in the morning… I'm gonna fall asleep in class._

With another sigh the catcher left his room, locking the door behind him.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura lay staring at the ceiling in the cafeteria.

 _No. You know what wasn't a good idea? Letting you in in the first place! Get the hell out. Now._

The first year pitcher shuddered involuntarily. Miyuki's words had scared him. It had been such a quick switch in the catcher's emotions.

Sawamura rolled over with a groan. He was laying in the middle of the room, his body stiff from the uncomfortable floor.

 _I donno what I did to make him so upset… What do I say to him?... How do I apologize to him?... I fucked up… Kazuya really needed someone and I fucked up!_

The southpaw growled in annoyance, pulling at his hair somewhat.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki pushed the coins into the vending machine and pressed the numbers that would drop his favorite can of coffee. As the drink fell into the slot he heard footsteps behind him. He glanced over his shoulder, wondering who else could possibly be up at the unbearingly early hour in the morning.

"Yoichi?" He asked, surprise taking over his features.

"Coffee this early in the morning? Jesus, I knew I was helping you guys out but I didn't think you'd go at it that quickly… or so much that you'd need coffee for stamina…" The shortstop said as he stretched his arms above his head.

"Pardon?" Miyuki asked while raising a brow.

Kuramochi merely smirked towards his best friend.

"Why are you up so early?" Miyuki asked.

"I felt bad kicking Sawamura out, was worried that our infamous captain didn't let him in last night." Kuramochi explained with a nonchalant shrug.

The shortstop must have noticed Miyuki's mood dampen because his playful smirk fell off his lips.

"Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened." Miyuki muttered.

"You're full of shit Kazuya."

 _I don't need you to give me empty promises._

"God! Will the both of you shut up!" The catcher snapped.

Yoichi's eyes widened at Miyuki's aggressive words.

"Christ. I was just asking. You didn't have to snap at me."

Miyuki's hand had damn near crushed the can of coffee that he was holding.

"Damn it." He muttered as Kuramochi turned on his heel to walk away. "Yoichi. I- I didn't mean it."

The shortstop paused and looked over his shoulder.

"Kazuya, I'll always be there if you need someone, hell, I'd take a couple punches for you… But I don't want to be your punching bag. If you need someone to verbally abuse, that's not what I'm here for. I'm your best friend, not your verbal punching bag. I'll be around if you actually want to talk to someone."

Miyuki's eyes widened at his best friend's words. When Kuramochi started to walk away, the catcher actually felt the desire to jump at the opportunity.

"Yoichi… What if… What if I said I needed someone to talk to right now?..."

 _0_0_0_0_

 _I'm not going to get any sleep… It's just not gonna happen…_

Sawamura glanced up at the clock on the wall, wincing somewhat as he read 4:26 am.

 _I could go for a run… It's always helped me clear my mind before…_

The pitcher pushed himself up, wincing somewhat from the way his body groaned in protest. In hindsight, the cafeteria's floor wasn't the best place to spend the night.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi turned back and glanced at his best friend.

 _He… actually wants to talk?..._

"Then I'm here for you." Kuramochi turned on his heels once more and walked right by Miyuki, plopping himself on the bench right beside the vending machine. "I'll listen."

Miyuki seemed to shuffle his weight from foot to foot before sitting next to the shortstop.

"I might just need a shoulder.." Miyuki mumbled before leaning right onto Kuramochi's shoulder.

 _What the actually fuck!? This isn't Kazuya! Who the hell are you?! What have you done to the real Kazuya and what the hell- IS HE CRYING?_

Kuramochi looked down at his hand, noticing a drop or two of water. He looked up at the sky to see if it was raining. Not a cloud in sight, the moon was perfectly visible.

"Hey… You can tell me anything." The shortstop offered.

Miyuki remained silent, simply leaning on his best friend's shoulder.

 _If I find out that you're the reason for this… You're dead Sawamura._

Time passed by slowly, though Kuramochi never shook Miyuki from his shoulder. He let the catcher cry silently, not berating him with any questions.

A little while later, Miyuki sat up and rubbed at his face.

"Wow. Uh. Yea, I'm sorry. I'm not awake. Uh.." Miyuki chuckled awkwardly.

"Just tell me one thing Kazuya."

Miyuki turned his attention towards Kuramochi.

"Was it Sawamura? Was it something he said? Something he did?"

Miyuki wanted to speak, he wanted to deny that anything had happened at all, but his voice died in his throat.

"I thought as much. I'm gonna kill that brat." Kuramochi growled.

The shortstop made to stand and stomp off, but Miyuki grabbed his arm.

"Uh. About what just happened." Miyuki asked, his gaze on the ground.

"Hm? Something just happened?" Yoichi asked with a quizzical expression.

Miyuki showed a small smile.

"Thanks Yoichi." The catcher said, turning his face back towards the shortstop.

Yoichi felt a little off guard as he took in Miyuki's appearance. He could clearly identify the tracks that the tears had left on his cheeks, not to mention the pinkness to his eyes.

"Anytime Kazuya. I'm around whenever you need someone to talk to." The shortstop said before leaving the catcher to bask in the vending machine's light alone.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura panted as he made his way around the second field. Running had always been a sort of calming activity for him. It helped him when he needed to clear his head. He'd even gone as far as to drag his trusty tire out from the equipment shed to make the run a little more intensive.

Unfortunately, no matter how hard he ran, he couldn't get the image of Miyuki when he was angry out of his head. He shook his head professedly to try and rid himself of the image… but it was to no avail.

 _I wanna… I don't like it when he's angry with me… I… I don't understand what I did… Why was he so angry?.. Did I over step my line? Does it anger him that I came into his room and fixed up his arm?.._

The pitcher felt the familiar sting of tears of frustration. He wiped an arm over his eyes rapidly in an attempt to get rid of them but it was no use. He was hopelessly confused and that only succeeded in frustrating him further.

 _What was I supposed to do Kazuya?... I can't just tell you that it scares me… That whenever I see that you've hurt yourself the first thing I do is blame myself… That I can't get rid of the images of your blood raining down onto the wooden floor in your room… I can't get rid of the empty look that your eyes hold behind your glasses when you realize that you've been caught. I… I tell you I understand.. But I can't… Why do you hurt yourself…? You've got so much… You're an amazing catcher.. You're a pretty good student from what I've heard. You've got respect from just about every damn player you meet.. I thought I brought you happiness… But if before gives me any damn indication… I've just made it worse…_

Sawamura's thoughts only succeeding in halting his running and increasing the tears he had tried to stop so many times before.

 _Have I lost you? Do you hate me? But I just got you… What do I do Kazuya? Are you going to dump me? Have you had enough? Have you realized that you can do so much better than an idiot like me?_

The pitcher sank down, plopping himself in the middle of the outfield with a pained gasp.

 _Is this it?... Are you going to get rid of me? I don't know what I did… Is it something I can't make up for? You were so angry… I've never seen you so angry… Not even when I accidentally insulted Chris in front of you… Please don't hate me Kazuya… I can't… I donno what I'll do if you end up hating me…_

0_0_0_0

Miyuki took a shuddered breath after Kuramochi had left.

 _I just broke down in front of him… Holy shit.. What the fuck was I thinking?!_

Miyuki clenched his fists tightly.

 _I've never done that before… what the hell!? That's not me! He must've been so uncomfortable. What the hell was I thinking!?_

The catcher bit into his lower lip, his mind working tenfold.

 _No matter how much dad coming freaks me out… or how much Eijun's words hurt… I should be able to cover it up like always! Crying!? Are you fucking kidding me?! When did I revert back to being a bloody kid?!_

Miyuki stood and paced in front of the vending machines unhappily.

"Oh. Miyuki. How are you?"

The voice made the catcher jump.

"Ah! I'm sorry… I didn't mean to scare you… I just.. Wanted a drink…" Kawakami chuckled lightly.

Miyuki stared at the second year pitcher as he spoke. Kawakami squirmed slightly before coughing.

"Uh… yea… I'm just gonna get a drink so…"

Kawakami side stepped Miyuki before pushing coins into the vending machine.

"Hey Miyuki… I don't want to over step any of my boundaries… But… Have you been sleeping?" The second year asked as his can dropped from inside the machine. "I mean… You've got some pretty dark circles going on… So I was just wondering…"

"Are you always up so early Nori?" Miyuki asked with a cock of his head.

"Uh. Yea. I like to work with the nets in the morning. It's quiet, pretty relaxing actually." Kawakami said before shrugging.

"It's five am.." Miyuki said incredulously.

"Nothing like a morning workout." The second year pitcher said with a small nervous smile.

Miyuki couldn't believe it. He had had no idea that there were players who got up so early to practice.

"Nori. I'm gonna work with you today." Miyuki said, his decision made the moment he'd heard why the other was up so early.

"What? Aren't you working with Furuya?... Or even Sawamura?" The second year asked, surprise taking over his features.

"Do you see either of them working with the nets in the morning?" Miyuki asked with a small smile. "If you work hard, you'll be rewarded. I think I'm a pretty great reward, don't you think Nori?" The catcher joked.

Kawakami gave and awkward laugh at Miyuki's narcissism before nodding.

"Thanks… I hope everyone else will be ok with that." The second year said as he finished off his drink. "I'll see you in a couple of hours… you know, for normal morning practice." Kawakami said before chuckling lightly.

"Seeings how I'm the captain, the only person that can deter me is the coach, and I believe he'll be fine if I explain to him why it is that I'm working with you." Miyuki offered before waving over his shoulder. "Like you said, see you in a couple of hours."


	17. Chapter 17

**I just picture the people who are already following this fic getting so many notifications cause I keep updating this fic.**

 **"Does this chick just sit in her room on her laptop all day with no life?!"**

 **Ehhhh, yes :D**

 **Lol, jk, sometimes I do homework**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 17**

Miyuki got breakfast as soon as the cafeteria opened. Many of the players took their time in the morning, but, seeings how he had been up, he figured going in for an early breakfast wouldn't hurt.

He plopped himself down at one of the empty tables, setting his tray in front of him. The unappealing bowl of cereal stared up at him, the cafeteria's lights bouncing off of the milk he'd added to it. He wasn't exactly hungry, but he knew he needed the food to fuel him through the day, especially after the all nighter he had just pulled. Not only had he not slept last night, but he had barely slept an hour the previous night. The last night at Sawamura's place had been an eventful one for sure, he'd felt the pitcher slowly chipping at his walls, and, at times, he could feel himself wanting to let his southpaw in.

Miyuki felt the room spin and quickly closed his eyes. He pinched the bridge between them, trying to ground himself.

 _It's gonna be a long day.._

He sighed before opening his eyes again. He pulled him glasses off and laid them on the table before taking a deep breath. He picked up his spoon and brought it to his lips. He hated when the most mundane of things became a difficult task.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura woke up in the middle of the field. He pushed himself up right with a jolt and looked around himself. The sun was just barely peeking through the clouds, indicating that he hadn't slept long. He groggily rubbed at his face before standing on shaky legs. His tire was still wrapped around his waist from his early morning run. He scoffed down at it before untying it and dragging said tire back to the equipment shed.

Furuya was just stepping out as Sawamura hefted his tire into his arms.

"Oh. I didn't see you in the field. Did you run without me?" The team's ace asked indifferently.

Sawamura had gotten to know Furuya and how the boy expressed his emotions. Although his face seemed to be a mask, those who got to know him could tell the minute difference that would show a different emotion. Right now, he could tell Furuya was disappointed.

"Yea. Sorry, I got up early." Sawamura lied.

"You have black under your eyes." Furuya stated.

"What?! No I don't!" The southpaw shouted.

Furuya sighed before stepping towards the southpaw.

"I'll see you at practice." He said before grabbing the tire in Sawamura's hand.

"Be gentle!" Sawamura called out, only to be ignored.

0_0_0_0

Haruichi groaned as he sat up. He was up before the alarm. He was up way too early.

 _Why is there a light on?_

He thought groggily, turning his attention towards the desk that was in front of him. Kuramochi sat in the chair, arms folded on the desk in front of him. The shortstop's head lay rested on his arms, sleeping rather peacefully to be having a desk light right in his face.

Haruichi couldn't help it, he had a soft smile paint itself across his lips at the rather endearing picture that had painted itself in front of him. He had to take ten minutes to talk himself out of taking a picture with his phone, telling himself that Kuramochi wouldn't appreciate the breach in privacy.

He stood from Sawamura's bed and slowly made his way towards the shortstop's desk. He planted a soft kiss on the older boy's temple before focusing on what was under his arms.

 _A café review?_

Haruichi's smile only grew as thoughts of Kuramochi planning a date for the both of them filled his head.

"What's got you all smiley?" Kuramochi murmured as he sat up, rubbing his eyes somewhat.

"Hm… Nothing. Morning." The pinklet said, keeping his smile.

"Good morning." Kuramochi greeted before reaching out and pulling Haruichi onto the desk chair, plopping the younger boy between his legs.

Kuramochi wrapped his arms around Haruichi's stomach and set his chin on the pinklet's shoulder.

 _Woa! This.._

Haruichi glanced to the side to see that Kuramochi had let his eyes fall back closed as he leaned on his partner's shoulder.

"Hey. You have to wake up." Haruichi mumbled, the blush making his voice quiver somewhat.

"Do I? Isn't it still early?" The shortstop drawled.

"We could go for breakfast.." Haruichi offered.

"Don't wanna." Kuramochi mumbled.

"Common Yoichi… we can't stay like this-"

There was a knock at the door, grabbing both of their attention.

"Hey… I just… Wanted some clothes to change."

Haruichi cocked his head somewhat before a soft 'ah!' left his lips.

"Coming Eijun!" The second baseman said as he pulled away from Kuramochi.

He pulled the door open, plastering a smile on his face. The smile soon fell when he saw his best friend's state. His clothes were full of dirt, as if he'd been rolling around the field. His hair definitely had some grass clippings stuck in it. When he looked up, Haruichi had to refrain from gasping. Dark, ominous bags were painted under the southpaw's eyes, but what scared Haruichi further was the lack of life in the pitcher's eyes. The once so vibrant brown/gold color that danced in his friend's eyes was nowhere to be found.

"Sorry, I'm just gonna grab some clothes, I'll be out of your hair in a second." Sawamura said, side stepping the second baseman and making his way towards his dresser.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi's 'terminator' switch was flipped as soon as he heard the southpaw's voice. After what had happened between him and Miyuki, he had promised himself that he would at least pull his worst wrestling move on the pitcher upon laying eyes on him.

But that was the problem. As soon as he did lay eyes on Sawamura, his will to pummel the boy seemed to disappear. He took in his junior's appearance and couldn't help but wonder just how bad whatever was going on actually was. The distant look in his roommate's eyes made him nervous. He'd never seen the boy without his energetic exterior.

"Sorry, I'm just gonna grab some clothes, I'll be out of your hair in a second." The pitcher mumbled.

He watched as the southpaw gathered his clothing and made his way out of the room sluggishly. He watched as Sawamura pulled the door closed and made his way to the baths. He watched as Haruichi's smile faded and worry marred his second baseman's features.

"What's wrong with Eijun?.." He heard the pinklet mutter.

 _What's really going on Kazuya?..._

0_0_0_0

Miyuki finished his breakfast just as everyone was coming in.

"Oh! The captain is up early!" One of the first years stated with a wave.

Miyuki offered the boy a small nod of acknowledgement.

Kuramochi came from behind them, his face holding some worry to it.

"Morning Yoichi." Miyuki offered with a small smile.

"Ah, morning Miyuki." Haruichi said, popping out from behind.

Miyuki showed the second baseman small smile.

"Kazuya."

Miyuki's smile slipped at Kuramochi's serious tone.

"Did you actually make him sleep outside?..." The shortstop asked silently, so that only Miyuki could hear.

Haruichi cocked his head but gave them some distance as they spoke.

"I didn't make him do anything." Miyuki said, his gaze hardening.

"He looked like shit this morning. Full of dirt. Grass in his hair… You don't think he actually slept outside… he could have come back to the room…" Kuramochi said, worry lacing itself into his tone.

"I donno Yoichi! I don't control him. I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to!" The catcher muttered under his breath.

Kuramochi levelled him with a harsh glare.

"You're doing it again."

Miyuki returned the hard glare.

"Doing what?" He demanded.

"Verbal punching bag." Kuramochi said before walking away.

0_0_0_)

Miyuki clenched his teeth as he watched the shortstop leave. His vision began to swim once again, causing him to reach out towards the wall to stable himself. He'd been through this before, the nausea from the spinning room and the way his body became way heavier than its actual weight. He closed his eyes and took a breath, waiting for the spell the pass.

"Miyuki?" Came a quiet, and yet concerned, voice.

Miyuki opened his eyes and momentarily saw Sawamura in front of him. His eyes widened at his pitcher's look of worry.

 _Wait… He doesn't call me that anymore…_

The image slowly faded and revealed who it was that was actually standing in front of him. Furuya, although impassive, was waiting for an answer.

"Are you ok?" The pitcher prodded once more.

"Ah! I'm fine! I was just stumped over how it is that I can better your pre-game." Miyuki said before smirking.

Furuya scowled at the catcher before walking away.

 _Damn… I really need sleep…_

The catcher shook his head, slowly making his way out of the cafeteria. It would just be his luck that the southpaw was walking towards the cafeteria at this exact moment. Miyuki tensed up, not exactly ready to face the pitcher just yet.

He glanced at the pitcher's face and froze. His chest tightened at the sight. His pitcher's eyes… The one's he loved so much, looked so… dead.

Miyuki wanted to reach towards him, wanted to pull him into his arms.

 _I don't need you to give me empty promises._

The catcher bit his tongue looking at the ground as the pitcher got closer. He expected the pitcher to at least say hello. At least acknowledge his presence… but he simply walked by, not uttering a word as he went into the cafeteria. Miyuki's eyes widened as he watched the pitcher walk right by him.

 _Was he… looking right through me?..._

0_0_0_0

Sawamura went through the mechanics of cleaning himself, his body moving solely on autopilot. He wasn't entirely aware of what was going on around him.

 _Get the hell out._

Sawamura felt himself tense up.

 _Now._

He had the hot water on full blast but he felt ice cold. The thought of him making it worse than it already was scared him to no end. Images of Miyuki with both arms emerged in scarlet haunted him every time he closed his eyes.

The southpaw turned the water off and robotically dried himself off. He made his way towards the cafeteria, barely registering the dirt under his shoes as he walked.

 _I need you to understand that you will never be the reason_

Sawamura stumbled somewhat, an attack of nausea hitting him from behind. Images of Miyuki sitting on his bed with a blade haunted him as he closed his eyes to catch his bearings.

"Eijun!"

Miyuki just sitting there, scarlet dripping from his fingers. His eyes held no emotions as he stared down at the pitcher. They were dark… unnerving.

Sawamura brought a hand to his mouth.

Just as soon as the image had manifested, Sawamura was met with the angry expression he'd seen on his catcher's face last night.

 _Get the hell out!_

"Eijun! What's wrong?!"

 _Garbage… Garbage!  
_ The southpaw stumbled around the cafeteria until he found a garbage he could empty stomach into. Sawamura coughed a couple of time, his eyes wide as he realized what had just happened.

"Eijun, what's wrong? Are you sick?"

Sawamura tried to look up, but all he caught was a blur of pink before the garbage demanded his attention once more. He heaved into the garbage, having nothing to throw up.

A dizzy spell hit the pitcher as he tried to stand. He stumbled on his feet, using the garbage to keep him upright.

"What the hell is going on?!"

Sawamura vaguely recognized that voice to be Kuramochi's. The pitcher felt the feeling in his legs leaving him as he tried to take a step.

 _Shit.. It's getting really dark._

"Oi! Sawamura!?"

"Eijun!"

The pitcher felt himself falling as the room went dark.

"What just happened?..."

"Did he just puke?.."

"He just passed out!"

Voices seemed to fade away from him slowly.

 _No… I gotta get up… I have… I have to go see Kazuya… I have to talk to him…_


	18. Chapter 18

**In retrospect, binge eating jujubes while putting all these chapters up wasn't the best idea...**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 18**

Miyuki was putting his gear on when Kawakami came running into the bullpen.

"No need to rush Kawakami, I've still gotta get my gear on." The catcher said with a small smirk.

"It's Sawamura." The pitcher said, gasping as he caught his breath.

Miyuki felt his blood run cold.

"What?" He asked, his smirk falling.

"He passed out. In the caf." Kawakami said with a frown. "After he was sick in the garbage…"

"The coach is with him I'm sure." Miyuki stated before turning his back to the second year pitcher.

 _What the hell? He passed out?_

"I'm gonna step way over the line here, but hear me out." Kawakami began, nervously avoiding Miyuki's glare. "You're being awfully cold towards someone you care for… For all you know, maybe he's struggling and could really use you right now."

A harsh laugh pushed itself through Miyuki's lips, catching Kawakami off guard.

"He's struggling? He needs my help does he?" Miyuki asked bitterly.

The second year pitcher seemed shaken from Miyuki's change in demeanor.

"That's pretty funny Nori. I didn't know you had such a great sense of humor."

0_0_0_0

"What do you think brought this up?" Kataoka asked, standing outside of Sawamura's dorm.

Kuramochi was chewing on his lower lip, remembering how he had kicked his junior out and how it had resulted in him sleeping outside for the night.

"Perhaps it was something he ate?" Haruichi offered.

"And nobody else was sick?" Kataoka asked, not buying the pinklet's story at all.

"It could have been an overdue pastry from the market." Haruichi offered before shrugging.

"All we can do is let him rest at this point.." Kuramochi said before sighing. "We'll keep an eye on him, that is, if you're ok with us missing out on practice."

Kataoka glared down at the second year before sighing.

"I suppose that is all we can do." He said before turning to walk towards the field. "Do not let him set foot on the field, I don't care how energetic he claims to be. Bed rest is what the sick need." The coach stated before leaving.

Haruichi visibly sighed while Kuramochi relaxed against the door.

"It's my fault." The shortstop stated with an aggravated sigh.

"If you're going to place blame, you can say it was the both of us." Haruichi said as he pulled the door open.

"Where are you going?"

"You wanted to play nurse, at least check up on the patient once in a while." The pinklet said with a huff. "That, or go talk to Miyuki, I'm sure he has an inkling towards why Eijun is so sick." Haruichi said before pulling the door closed in Kuramochi's face.

The shortstop's eyes widened at how aggressive Haruichi was. He knew that the pinklet felt a strong need to protect the southpaw, hell, the whole team did, but he hadn't expected him to act out towards even him. Thought, he was right about something, he needed to talk to Miyuki.

0_0_0_0

"It isn't his fault Kazuya, don't take it out on him."

Miyuki's attention snapped towards the shortstop as he walked into the bullpen.

The shortstop had heard the last bit of conversation between the catcher and second year pitcher. If he was being honest, he felt bad for Kawakami, and he was also a little peeved at Miyuki for taking it out on an innocent by stander. He knew that someone had sent Kawakami to tell Miyuki that Sawamura had been sick, and while being honest, he knew that it wasn't the best idea since Miyuki was upset about something to do with the pitcher, but hell, Kawakami didn't deserve to be yelled at.

"Fantastic. Are you gonna quip about how I used Nori as a 'verbal punching bag'?" Miyuki sneered.

"You need to take a step back." Kuramochi stated.

"No. You know what? This is all bullshit!" Miyuki said before chuckling.

Kuramochi glanced at Nori, who seemed about thirty seconds from an anxiety attack, and nodded towards the exit. The pitcher bolted, leaving the two players alone.

"Did taking it out on Nori make you feel any better?" Kuramochi asked.

"Fuck off." Miyuki growled.

"What is your deal Kazuya?" Kuramochi asked, eyes narrowed into a death glare.

"My deal? My deal!? My deal is that everyone just expects me to solve every goddamn problem! I don't know the goddamn answers ok!" Miyuki yelled.

Kuramochi stayed indifferent.

 _This is actually… good._

"Answers to what?" The shortstop asked.

"That's just it! I don't know half the things people expect me to know Yoichi! We're playing a really strong team, sure, let me look over strategies with Nabe. A strong batter? No problem, my pitchers trust me and I tend to make the right calls. A player wants to quit? What the hell am I supposed to say? No, you're forced to stay even if it makes you hate baseball! Sawamura passed out, go see him. Why? So I can sit there and listen to myself being an ass to him on repeat in my head? My dad's coming to see the game. I should be happy right!? I'm not. I'm practically shitting myself cause I haven't even seen my old man for longer than two hour intervals even when I go home for holidays! I'm scared that I don't amount to his bloody expectations. Isn't that a load of shit?! But how could you ever understand?! You're in the perfect place right now. A perfect boyfriend! A perfect family waiting for you with open arms for the holidays! So what's my deal Yoichi!? Fuck if I know! I don't know what to bloody well think anymore!"

 _Ah. I bet you feel a lot lighter now, don't you Kazuya?_

Miyuki huffed after that long winded rant. Kuramochi merely smirked and clapped.

"What the fuck Yoichi?" Miyuki growled.

"You finally let it out and talked about it. More like yelled, but hey, technicalities, am I right?" Kuramochi said with a casually shrug.

Miyuki's eyes widened as Kuramochi walked towards him. The shortstop grabbed him by the shoulder before sighing.

"We don't expect you to have all the answers. Sure we tend to lean on you a little more than the other players, but that's cause we all trust you to do the right thing."

"But-"

"And I know that that in itself can be stressful." Kuramochi said, cutting Miyuki off before he could start. "But we're a team you know? We may lean on you, but you're allowed to lean on us too you know? There are some of us that are closer to you than most, hell, I'm willing to bet that Sawamura is closer to you than even I am…" Kuramochi said before chuckling softly. "I donno what happened between you two… But I know that whatever it is, it's eating at the both of you. I think Sawamura's even managed to make himself sick over it."

Miyuki opened his mouth to speak but thought better of it when Kuramochi shook his head.

"Listen. That guy's a real idiot… but hell Miyuki, even I can see the way he looks at you. You're his whole world right now. Not to mention I'm pretty sure I've heard him mumble your name in his sleep once or twice."

Kuramochi smirked when he saw the catcher's ears darken in a blush.

"I don't know what to say to him… He was just helping out… I just… he said something and I snapped at him… Didn't even think twice about it.." Miyuki muttered.

"Sounds like you took an idiot's words to heart." Kuramochi said with a smirk. "Ten to one, he didn't mean it the way that you took it. As for not knowing what to say, you've got time, he's sleeping."

The shortstop let his arms drop from Miyuki's shoulders.

"If I could just give you a little more advice Kazuya." Kuramochi said with a small smile. "Be there when he opens his eyes. I swear you won't regret it."

0_0_0_0

Haruichi heard a knock at the door that pulled him from his little doze off. He stood from the desk chair he had been perched on, making his way to the door.

"Coming." He said, loud enough for whoever was on the other side to hear him but gently enough that it wouldn't wake Sawamura up.

He pulled the door open, eyes landing on the shortstop before they landed on the catcher. He stepped aside, pulling the door open to let the catcher by. Kuramochi stepped in and grabbed his key before glancing over his shoulder.

"We'll check up on you guys around lunch time. Coach gave me a note for class, I'll give it to the teacher in your stead."

Miyuki nodded, before smiling softly.

"Thanks Yoichi.." He said softly.

Haruichi let the door fall closed as he stepped out, giving Miyuki a small wave.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki glanced towards Sawamura's bed, taking in the scene before him. The southpaw lay clumped in a mass of blankets, face peaceful with sleep. He seemed comfortable enough, though Miyuki could see how pale his skin was.

 _Did I really make you sick?..._

The catcher walked towards the desk chair, picking it up and setting in down right by Sawamura's bed. He sat in the seat heavily, lips turned down in a frown.

"Is it my fault?.." He whispered.

Sawamura sighed in his sleep, snuggling deeper into the blankets. Miyuki, if he hadn't been so wrapped up in his own crap, would have thought the expression was endearing.

 _I was so harsh towards you… I'm so sorry…_

Miyuki bit into his lower lip before letting a soft chuckle leave his lips.

 _If there's one thing I hate, it's saying sorry… But that seems to be the only thing I've been saying to you these past few days. I'm one problem after another eh?..._

The catcher sighed heavily.

 _I wonder sometimes Eijun… I wonder what you could possibly see in such a broken person._

Miyuki leaned back into the desk chair, letting his eyes fall close.

 _God… I'm so tired… Did you sleep last night?... Yoichi seems to think that you slept outside… Please tell me that I didn't make you sleep outside… I'm such an asshole… I'm so sorry that I treated you like garbage… Sometimes… I wonder how you can even stand to be around me… Everyone else seems to hate me… Even Yoichi can't stand me 90% of the time… I don't know how you do it…_

Miyuki felt himself dozing off and couldn't help but welcome the peace at mind. He listened to the pitcher's breathing as he relaxed into the desk chair. He would have enjoyed every moment of it had he not been ripped from its greedy clutches.

"Kazuya…"

Miyuki's eyes snapped open and focused on the southpaw in bed. He cocked his head in confusion when Sawamura's eyes remained close.

 _I swear I heard something… Am I going insane…? Scratch that… I'm already there._

The catcher let yet another heavy sigh leave his lips.

"Kazuya.."

 _Is he talking in his sleep? Yoichi was serious?! I thought he was kidding!_

The catcher's ears darkened at the realization.

"Please…."

Miyuki shook his head to get rid of his thoughts and focused on his pitcher. He wanted to erase the pain he heard in those single words.

 _What is he pleading for?_

"Don't hate me…."

Miyuki's eyes widened in disbelief at his pitcher's words. They were such small words, and yet they felt like a punch to the gut.

"Please.."

Miyuki felt his chest tighten up.

 _No… I could never hate you… God Eijun… I could never hate you._

"Kazuya…"

The catcher bit into his lips as he listened to the desperation in the pitcher's words. He couldn't believe the pain he was hearing in Sawamura's words.

 _God… I'm so sorry._

When tears started to travel down the southpaw's cheeks Miyuki tensed up.

 _I'm hurting him._

"I'm right here…" Miyuki whispered, his voice sounding broken even to his own ears.


	19. Chapter 19

**MiyuSawa 3**

 **I'm sorry for the feels.**

 **Actually, no I'm not...**

 **It's reality and perhaps one that's hard to accept.**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 19**

Kuramochi glanced back at Miyuki's empty desk and rolled his eyes.

 _Honestly, It's about time you vent some of you anger you idiot._

The shortstop sighed heavily as his thoughts wandered.

"Since you seem so enticed by my lesson, do answer the question on the board Kuramochi." The teacher's ticked voice wafted through the air, slicing through his aimless thoughts.

 _Shit._

0_0_0_0

Sawamura cringed at the harsh words that had just left Miyuki's lips.

"We're done. It's not worth it anymore."

Sawamura's chest crushed in on itself. He opened his mouth to ask just what the catcher meant, but the words wouldn't leave his lips. A pained gasp seemed to leave his lips in his voice's stead. Why couldn't he speak? Wasn't this important? He needed to ask Miyuki what he meant.

"I'm still your captain and the main catcher. But that's all I'll be. Nothing more, nothing less."

Miyuki's eyes were so cold behind the lenses that sat on his nose.

"But-"

 _Why?! What happened?! I didn't even get to apologize! I didn't realize that it was this bad!_

"Kazu-"

"Enough Sawamura." The catcher said before turning away.

 _He didn't… Use my given name… He's serious about this. He's leaving me. I'm losing him… I don't want this. Please… Come back…_

Sawamura watched as Miyuki walked away from him, never looking back that the shattered pieces of what was once the thriving country boy.

 _No… Not like this… Kazuya… Please…_

0_0_0_0

Haruichi glanced up from his book when he saw a small scrap of paper fall on his desk. He rose a brow before glancing at Furuya. The pinklet opened up the note, reading its contents slowly.

'How bad is it?'

He knew that Furuya wasn't a boy of many words, but he had no idea which problem that the pitcher was addressing.

 _I'll just go with the fact that Eijun is sick…_

'Not too bad, high fever, but Miyuki's taking care of him.'

Haruichi folded the paper before handing it back to Seido's monster rookie.

He watched Furuya's eyes travel over the paper's contents before he turned and nodded in acknowledgement.

0_0_0_0

"Wait! Kazuya!"

Miyuki's eyes snapped open, his heart jumping into his throat as his pitcher practically screamed before sitting straight up. Tears threatened to fall from the boy's clouded eyes. For several seconds, Miyuki was too stunned to move. It was the mere realization that his pitcher had called out for him that snapped him out of his reverie.

"I'm right here." He said, his voice wavering slightly.

When tears started falling from the pitcher's eyes for the second time Miyuki felt the familiar blade of guilt slice through him.

"Eijun, I'm right here, right beside you." The catcher said, his voice firmer this time.

Miyuki reached out and laced his hands into once of Sawamura's, realizing with a jolt that it was stock cold and rather clammy. That was when Sawamura focused his attention on him, his eyes growing with realization.

"This… Is it a dream?... Didn't you just walk away?..." The pitcher asked, the pain in his eyes so raw.

Miyuki opened his mouth to speak but the words wouldn't leave his lips, they died in his throat.

"Kazuya… Do you hate me?..." The pitcher asked, reaching his free hand towards his catcher.

Miyuki's control on his emotional flood gate shattered. He pulled his hand from Sawamura's, not missing the look the pitcher gave him when his fingers left his. He pulled the pitcher into his arms, practically crushing the boy against his chest.

"How can you even think that?!" The catcher demanded.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura's eyes flew wide when Miyuki pulled him into his arms. He felt the air rush from his lungs at how hard Miyuki seemed to squeeze him.

 _Is Miyuki shaking?.._

Sawamura chewed on his lower lip.

"But… you were so mad…" The pitcher said softly.

"God… It was so stupid…" The catcher mumbled.

Sawamura closed his eyes, silently listening to Miyuki's heart beat when he felt something warm hit his cheek. He opened his eyes, feeling the same feeling again. That was when the realization hit him hard.

"I made you cry…" He said, his eyes widening.

A bemused chuckle left Miyuki's lips.

"How could I possibly hate you? You don't know how… How goddamn important you are to me. You're my anchor. You're the only reason I seem to still have a semblance to reality at this point."

Sawamura looked up at Miyuki, locking eyes with the catcher. They were… warm… such a contrast from last night.

"I don't… Understand." The pitcher mumbled.

"God… You're such a dunce." Miyuki mumbled.

Sawamura's face darkened.

"I'm so in love with you that it scares me." Miyuki whispered.

Sawamura's eyes widened in surprise.

"But.. Is someone… as broken as me, allowed to love someone as vibrantly bright as you?" Miyuki asked softly.

"Kazuya…" Sawamura reached up as grabbed Miyuki's face in his hands before pressing his lips against the catcher's. "I should be the one asking if you'll accept an idiot like me."

Miyuki had stopped crying, and a small smile had painted itself across his features.

"At least you know." The catcher said.

"Excuse me?" Sawamura asked in astonishment.

"That you're an idiot." Miyuki said, his smile forming into his trademark smirk.

"Kazuya!" The southpaw practically shrieked.

Miyuki pressed his lips against Sawamura's once again, effectively silencing the boy's explosion.

"Now shush. I wanna sleep.." Miyuki muttered before slowly lying next to his pitcher.

Sawamura's cheeks darkened in a deep blush.

"You have to sleep with me?.." He squeaked.

"Am I not allowed?" Miyuki asked, his eyes already closed.

He hadn't pulled his arms away either, instead, he'd pulled the pitcher closer to him.

"I didn't... say that.." Sawamura mumbled.

"Good…. I didn't… sleep last night.."

It wasn't hard for Sawamura to pick up on the fact that the catcher was falling asleep as he spoke.

"At least take your glasses off!" The pitcher huffed.

"Too tired…" Miyuki drawled.

Sawamura rolled his eyes before reaching towards Miyuki's glasses to slip them off. As he neared the catcher, his hand was snatched out of the air by Miyuki's before he was faced with another smirk, although a sloppy, tired one.

Sawamura's blush only intensified when Miyuki pressed his hand to his lips.

"I-I thought you were too tired!" The pitcher stated.

"I'll never get tired of you." Miyuki said after pulling the pitcher's hand away from his lips.

He, in turn, laced his fingers with the pitcher's. Sawamura couldn't possibly get any redder.

"When did you get so mushy?.." The southpaw mumbled, looking away as Miyuki chuckled. "Go to sleep already!" Sawamura then persisted when Miyuki yawned.

"Yes, yes. I'm working on it." He muttered as he let his eyes fall close once more.

Sawamura watched as Miyuki's breathing slowly evened out, indicating that the catcher had fallen asleep.

"You call me an idiot.. but honestly Kazuya… You're worse…" The pitcher said before pecking the sleeping senior's cheek. "And, I love you too." He muttered before he let himself plop back down on the pillow and closed his eyes too.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi almost shouted in relief when the lunch bell went. He was so bored in class, who would have known that not having Miyuki there to bug him made the room so boring and unbearable.

The shortstop pulled his cell out of his pocket when he felt it vibrate.

'We should bring some food for Miyuki and Eijun.'

He smiled down at the message, quickly typing back a reply.

'Sawamura probably won't eat much, but I'm sure Kazuya would appreciate food. Meet you in the caf'

He pocketed his phone before making his way towards their meeting spot.

It wasn't hard for the shortstop to pick out the mass of pink hair that was waiting for him, food sitting on a tray.

"That was quick." The shortstop said with a raised brow. "I came here straight after texting you."

"Hey. And no worries, I figured Eijun could use a soup and then got Miyuki the meal that was on special today." Haruichi said with a shrug.

"Sounds good." Kuramochi said, taking Miyuki's meal from the shorter's hands. "Let's hope they were able to settle their differences hm?" Kuramochi said.

Haruichi merely hummed in response before following after the other.

0_0_0_0

Haruichi knocked gently, silently asking Miyuki to open the door. The infielders waited for a couple of seconds before Kuramochi became rather impatient and dug around in his pockets before pulling the key out. He unlocked the door, ready to kick the catcher's ass for ignoring both him and Haruichi's knocking at the door.

The sight that met them made them both blush with embarrassment. The catcher lay, fast asleep, legs tangled with an equally passed out pitcher. Not only that, but their fingers were intertwined as they slept.

"This seems like a rather intimate scene that we shouldn't be trespassing on…" Haruichi whispered.

Kuramochi couldn't help but nod at the pinklet's words. He set Miyuki's food on the desk before reaching for Sawamura's soup. Haruichi willingly let Kuramochi take it from him and set it next to Miyuki's food.

"Let's go, they'll eat when they get up, no need to wake them up, right?" The shortstop whispered before pushing Haruichi out and pulling the door closed.

"I'd say they reconciled, wouldn't you?" the second baseman asked with an ever growing smile.

"I wouldn't disagree." Kuramochi said with a smile.

 _0_0_0_0_

 _That's one less problem to worry about. While Kazuya was venting… He said something about his father… Coming here? What for?_

The shortstop was puzzled as both he and Haruichi made their way back towards the school building.

His attention was grabbed when he felt Haruichi's smaller hand slip into his own.

"I'm kinda jealous." The pinklet said with a soft chuckle. "I want to hold your hand like that." He added, small blush making its way across his cheeks.

Kuramochi couldn't stop the endearing smile that made its way onto his lips. He squeezed Haruichi's fingers, telling him that he was right there.

"Why be jealous? You can hold my hand whenever you want to." The shortstop stated happily.

"I love this feeling." Haruichi muttered, his smile growing.

"What feeling is that?" Kuramochi asked, his brow raising in question.

"The feeling of warmth, of knowing that you're close." The pinklet stated.

"Hm, but aren't I always around?" Kuramochi asked with a tilt of his head.

"Yea… But know I know you're mine… And I don't have to worry about sharing you." The second baseman divulged before smiling innocently.

A scarlet blush exploded across Kuramochi's features, catching the pinklet's attention and pulling a giggle from his lips.

"That's pretty cute Yoichi. I could just kiss you." Haruichi said with yet another innocent smile, only making the shortstop's blush worse.

"Common… We're in public." Kuramochi said, his blush darkening.

"What? Are you ashamed?" Haruichi asked, his smile falling.

"No… I just wanna do something that shouldn't be put in the public." The shortstop muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

Haruichi's eyes widened in disbelief before he yanked on the shortstop's shirt, pulling his down for a kiss.

"I blame you for that." The pinklet said before letting go of the stunned shortstop's shirt and lacing his fingers back in the other's.


	20. Chapter 20

**What's reality without a little drama?**

 **Chapter 20**

Miyuki groaned slightly when he pushed himself up. It took him a mere couple of seconds before remembering what had happened and why he was lying in bed with Sawamura.

His ears went scarlet when he saw that he was rather close to his pitcher, not to mention what he'd said before going to sleep.

He sat up resting his arms on his knees, looking over at Sawamura as he slept.

 _Well, maybe me being mushy will prove to him just how important he is to me._

The catcher's stomach growled as the smell of food wafted towards his nose. He glanced towards the desk as saw food sitting on it. A small smirk made its way across his lips.

 _How thoughtful Yoichi._

Miyuki nudged Sawamura, who merely groaned in annoyance, in an attempt to wake him up.

"Get up, you need to eat." Miyuki said as he stood up.

"Don't wanna..." Sawamura grumbled before turning over in his sleep.

"Common idiot, you gotta eat to get better." Miyuki said as he looked at what his best friend had brought him. "Yoichi got you a soup."

Sawamura sat up, rubbing at his face.

"Ugh... I don't want food..." He said, his face turning a little green.

"Still feeling nauseous?"

Sawamura merely nodded before sighing. Miyuki rolled his eyes and grabbed the soup, along with the plastic spoon and set it on the pitcher's lap.

"I know you might not want to eat, but it'll make you feel better. I need you to get better for the game tomorrow." The catcher said before smiling softly.

"I totally forgot we had a game tomorrow!"

 _I didn't.._

"You really are an idiot." Miyuki huffed.

"What?!" Sawamura shouted.

Miyuki's smile only morphed into a smirk.

"Common, eat." Miyuki said as he sat next to the pitcher with his meal on his lap.

Sawamura looked down at the soup, opening the lid and scolding down at the meal.

"What?" Miyuki asked with a raised brow.

"What if Kuramochi poisoned it?" The pitcher asked before scowling harder at the meal.

"Do I really have to constantly remind you of how much of an idiot you are?" Miyuki muttered before dipping the spoon into the soup and eating it. "Other than it be really hot, it actually tastes good. So will you please eat it?" Miyuki exasperated.

That was when Sawamura turned a raised brow towards him.

"What now?" Miyuki huffed.

"I think that's the first time I've heard you say please." The pitcher stated before smirking.

"Is it now?" Miyuki asked while raising a brow.

"It's pretty entertaining, I'm not gonna lie." The pitcher said as he brought a spoonful of steaming soup to his lips, blowing softly.

Miyuki unwrapped the burger that Kuramochi had brought him, small smirk in place.

"Don't get used to it, it doesn't happen often." The catcher said before biting into his burger.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi was so bored in class that he thought of the ending bell as being god sent. He picked up his books, shoving them in his bag before making his way out of the room. He stopped short when he saw Haruichi waiting for him in the second year's hallway.

"What's up?" Kuramochi asked with a cock of his head.

"I wanted to walk with you, also, I wanted to check on Eijun." Haruichi said with a smile.

Kuramochi returned the smile, falling into step beside the shorter boy.

"How was class?"

"It was ok, I think Furuya fell asleep a total of five times today." Haruichi said before giggling softly.

"Yoichi!"

Kuramochi turned to look over his shoulder as he heard his name called as well as Haruichi stopped walking and turned back to see who had called out to his shortstop.

"Yukki... I told you that we're not familiar enough to call each other by given names..." Kuramochi said with a sigh.

"Common! You were the first person to talk to me when I showed up a week or so ago! Of course we're close enough to call each other by our given names!" The second year girl said with a huge smile.

"Hi, my name's Haruichi." Haruichi offered an innocent smile as he held his hand out.

 _He's pissed._

Kuramochi sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh my gosh! Aren't you just the cutest thing! Are you a second year!?" Yukki gushed.

"I'm.. A first year..." Haruichi said, shrinking away from the much too excited girl.

"Was there something you needed Yukki?" Kuramochi asked, getting straight to the point.

"Why are you so cold to me now, Yoichi?" Yukki pouted. "You don't even eat lunch with me anymore..." She huffed.

"She ate lunch with you?" Haruichi muttered under his breath, catching only Kuramochi's attention.

"Aha, I've been busy." The shortstop said with an awkward laugh.

 _He's gonna kill me later..._

"At least text me later! I didn't give you my number for nothing you know!" The girl called before running off in the opposite direction.

Kuramochi let a sigh of relief pass through his lips before looking over at Haruichi. The younger boy was glaring at him something fierce before he turned on his feet and started stomping away.

"Hey! I thought you were walking with me?" Kuramochi asked.

"Ask Yukki to walk with you!" Haruichi called before turning away.

0_0_0_0

"How does Yoichi even enjoy this?" Miyuki muttered as he mashed buttons on his controller.

No matter which buttons he hit, his character kept getting knocked around by Sawamura's.

"Aha! I see why he likes this game so much! I am always on the losing end!" Sawamura called as he pummeled Miyuki's character who was then presented as defeated.

 _I lost to Sawamura after Yoichi's beaten him?_

Miyuki huffed unhappily.

"Are you sulking?" Sawamura asked with a raised brow.

"No." Miyuki said, turning away from the pitcher.

"I'll let you win the next round…" Sawamura muttered with a small pout.

Miyuki looked back at him with a devilish smirk.

"Are you saying I can't win unless you let me?" The catcher asked as he rose a brow.

"You said it, not me." Sawamura said, though there was a coy smile on his face.

"I can think of a way or two that I do win." Miyuki stated as he leaned towards Sawamura.

"O-o-oh yea?" Sawamura asked, his cheeks darkening somewhat.

"Oi, oi, can you keep it PG when I'm around."

Sawamura screeched before throwing himself back. Miyuki sat back on the floor with an unhappy sigh.

"I didn't even hear the door open!" Sawamura practically yelled. "The cheetah strikes again…"

"Stop calling me that." Kuramochi snapped.

"Trouble in paradise?" Miyuki asked with a small knowing smirk.

"Yukki." Kuramochi said before flopping on Sawamura's bed.

"Ah. I figured that that would become an issue."

"What the hell Kazuya!?" Kuramochi growled. "If you knew you should have said something so I could be prepared!"

"She met Kominato?" Miyuki asked, hitting the bull's eye.

"How did you-"

"You only ever get this worked up about Kominato." Miyuki said before rolling his eyes.

"He was pissed." Kuramochi said with a frown.

"I don't think I've ever heard Haruichi and 'pissed' in the same sentence." Sawamura said with a thoughtful expression.

"Why, what happened exactly?" The catcher asked casually.

"I don't know what angered him so much. She just asked why I hadn't been eating lunch with her. She also mentioned having given me her number." Kuramochi stated, looking up at the ceiling with a lost expression.

"You're a dunce." Miyuki exasperated.

"Do you want me to pull you into a really painful wrestling move Kazuya?" Kuramochi growled angrily.

"Wouldn't want to give your significant other another reason to be angry now, would I?" Miyuki said as he raised his arms in the air as if the surrender.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Kuramochi growled.

"I've helped as much as I can. I'll be taking my leave. Make sure the idiot takes a shower after eating, along with sleeping. No field, do you get me?" Miyuki said, turning his attention to Sawamura for the last sentence.

"But I need to practice for tomorrow's ga-" Sawamura started before being cut off.

"No. Field." Miyuki repeated before opening the door. "If I catch you anywhere near the field there will be hell to pay Mr. Ace Wanna Be."

The catcher than pulled the door closed behind him, leaving a rather disgruntled Kuramochi and pouting Sawamura.

0_0_0_0

"And then she said that he had her number! I think she even sent a look my way after. Ugh, I'm so annoyed!" Haruichi vented, swinging as Furuya tossed another ball up into the air.

"So… this girl, you think she has a crush on Kuramochi?" Furuya asked as Haruichi pulled the bat back from his swing.

"I mean, it's pretty obvious, I'm sure Yoichi's the only one that hasn't noticed yet." The pinklet stated with a roll of his eyes.

 _He calls Kuramochi by his given name… I want to hear mine… Why doesn't he call my given name?_

"Furuya? Hello?" Haruichi waved his small hand in front of the pitcher, snapping him out of his reverie.

"Hm?" Furuya answered.

"Are you tired of tossing the ball for me?" Haruichi asked.

Furuya picked up on the small tinge of disappointment in Haruichi's features and shook his head.

"No, I'll toss for you." He said before showing Haruichi the ball in his hand.

Haruichi showed the monster rookie a smile before falling back into his stance.

"So, why does it bug you?" Furuya asked as he tossed the ball for Haruichi.

"Because." Haruichi exasperated as he swung. "I don't like the thought of her being around him when I'm not around. She's a second year you know? She might even have classes with him."

 _But… If Yukki gets Kuramochi… that leaves me with you._

Furuya grabbed another ball.

"I don't see the problem." The pitcher stated as he tossed another ball.

"What if she tries something!?" Haruichi gasped, the bat falling back onto his shoulder.

"You shouldn't take many more swings, we still have practice in a little bit.." Furuya said as he tossed the ball.

"Just a couple more." The second baseman said with a small sigh.

Furuya nodded and tossed a couple more balls for the pinklet.

"Do you think… That she could ever win because… She's a girl?" Haruichi asked all of a sudden, not even flinching as the ball Furuya tossed up hit his foot on the way down.

The monster rookie looked up at the second baseman with a frown.

"I know it sounds stupid… but sometimes I get scared. Like, what if he starts thinking girls are cuter than I am. I know I'm not what people refer to as hot, trust me, cute is all I got going for me… so… if she starts coming on to him.. What if he starts thinking she's cuter than I am?"

Furuya stood up and pulled Haruichi into his arms. The second baseman's voice had seemed so lost and timid that his body had acted on its own.

"Haruichi… If that ever happened… he'd be the stupidest guy on the planet… You're so amazing… So smart… So uplifting, and, you're rather attractive in your own allure. Don't ever settle for second place. Don't let him tell you that you're not enough. This girl? If she somehow does take Kuramochi from you… It's not because she was cuter, it was because Kuramochi was stupid." Furuya said before pulling back.

Haruichi's bat was on the ground, where it had fallen from the pinklet's hands. The second baseman himself stood shellshock at both Furuya's actions and words.

"Do… Do you really mean all of that?..." Haruichi asked, his voice soft.

"Every word." Furuya said before nodding.

The monster rookie than offered the second baseman a small smile.

"You worry too much. I don't think you could ever lose to some girl." He said before ruffling Haruichi's hair.


	21. Chapter 21

**I love reviews, they're so fun to read :D**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 21**

"No, seriously, Kazuya will kill me, so go take a shower and go straight back to the room. Not even a pit stop near the field. Do you hear me?" Kuramochi said as he grabbed his bag.

"I heard you the first sixty times." Sawamura said as he set the controller on the ground.

"I have to repeat it or you'll tell me I never told you anything then I'll have to deal with a demon in the form of a catcher." Kuramochi said before sighing heavily.

"Alright! I get it!" Sawamura said as he stood up.

 _At least he looks way better than he did this morning. His skin doesn't have that grey tint to it… Not the mention the dead fish look is gone._

"Good, I'll grab you something to eat on the way back from practice." Kuramochi said before opening the door and pulling it shut behind him.

0_0_0_0

"Looks like I'm working with you today monster rookie." Miyuki declared with his ever present smirk as he walked towards his juniors.

Haruichi and Furuya were tossing the ball back and forth. It wasn't hard for Miyuki to pick up on the effort Furuya was putting into not throwing with too much force. Haruichi smiled before heading towards Toujou and Kanemaru, saying something about batting practice.

"Alrighty, let's go furuya." Miyuki said as he made his way towards the dugout.

"How is he feeling?"

Miyuki glanced over at his junior's face with a raised brow.

"Better, I made him eat something, so he's a little more energetic." The catcher said as he dropped his bag on the bench.

Furuya merely nodded before sitting in the shade of the dugout as Miyuki put his shin pads on.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling out of pure boredom. The hot shower had both helped him and made him feel a little nauseous at the same time. Now he was cooling off in a pair of shorts and loose shirt with the fan turned on and pointed in his direction. The artificial breeze pushed through his brown hair as he counted the dots on the ceiling.

"I'm so bored!" He cried out before pouting unhappily. "Being sick sucks." He grumbled before flopping over onto his stomach.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi's brow twitched with annoyance.

 _He's totally avoiding me._

Every time he even set his mind on suggesting that both he and Haruichi practice together, the pinklet would somehow sense it coming and busy himself with someone else. Whether it be batting practice with Toujou or bunt practice with Kanemaru. The shortstop's fuse was about to run out.

He caught Haruichi heading into the dugout out of the corner of his eye, probably to grab water.

 _Damn it, you're not running away this time._

Kuramochi followed after Haruichi, stepping into the dugout a mere minute after the pinklet.

"How's practice going?" He asked as he rummaged through his bag.

He rose his brow as Haruihci tensed.

"Fine." Came the terse reply.

"Were you planning on working with me today? Do some infield drills?" The shortstop asked as he pulled his water bottle from his bag.

"I'm actually really busy with other practice today." Haruichi said with a shrug as he set his bottle back in his bag, making his way towards the exit.

"So you're gonna avoid me the whole night then?" Kuramochi asked, his annoyance leaking into his voice.

Haruichi paused mid step before looking behind him.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember signing a form stating that my life revolved around you Yoichi." Haruichi said, his eyes holding a certain fierceness to them.

Kuramochi's eyes widened somewhat at his partner's harsh words.

"I don't need your life to revolve around me, I need you to work towards our infield. We need to synchronize." Kuramochi bit out, ignoring the pain that blossomed from Haruichi's words.

"We practice all the time, I need to focus on myself sometimes." Haruichi stated unhappily.

"I really think that we should at least try to perfect our synchronicity…" Kuramochi said, leading off somewhat.

"And I really think you should leave me be." Haruichi said harshly.

"I don't get why you're so bloody angry." Kuramochi snapped.

"Of course you don't." Haruichi said before chuckling bitterly.

"How can I know if you don't tell me?!"

"I'm not here to translate everything for you Yoichi."

"Would you take a step back, I don't even know who you are right now." Kuramochi said as he sat on the bench. "I'm not a supercomputer. I can't understand everything with a snap of your fingers Haruichi."

Haruichi chuckled bemusedly.

"What happened to the boy that had nothing but sweet words for me earlier today?" The pinklet asked.

"He left, along with the boy he offered those words to." Kuramochi said before standing and leaving Haruichi in the dugout, wide eyed.

0_0_0_0

The pinklet stood in shock as his shortstop passed right by him. He wanted to reach out towards him, grab his arm, pull him back, tell him that his words were nothing but that; just empty words. He'd been upset, he had let jealousy cloud his mind.

Tears pricked at the short boy's eyes as his veins became thick with ice.

 _Was that a break up?... Did he just break up with me?..._

A hand raised to the small boy's mouth as a sob passed through his lips. Kuramochi's words had slapped him right across the face. He felt his fingers shaking as the whole situation caught up with him.

Haruichi let his back hit the dugout wall and slid until he was sitting in the dirt. His eyes were wide, unshed tears pooling behind his eyes.

 _What just happened?... I take it back… Make it go away… Turn time back! It hurts… I didn't mean it…_

Haruichi bit into his cheek to stop the agonizing noise that threatened to claw its way up and out of his throat. He focused on forcing his breathing to normal and blinking the tears away. Of course, fate was against him and the familiar ring tone from his phone was screeching at him from inside his baseball bag.

He glanced around before pushing himself upright and making his way towards the ringing. He pulled it out and sighed at the caller ID before hitting the answer button.

"Aren't you supposed to be practicing?" Came his brother's bemused voice.

"If you know that, then why are you calling?" Haruichi asked.

There was a pause in which both of them didn't speak, leading Haruichi to wonder if his brother had hung up on him. He was about the hand the phone up himself when he heard an audible sigh.

"What happened?" Ryosuke asked.

Haruichi's eyes widened, too stunned to give his brother an answer.

"Your lack of an answer proves to me that there's a problem." Ryosuke drawled.

Haruichi cleared his throat before speaking.

"N-Nothing's wrong." He said before silently face palming himself for stuttering.

"Where are you?" Ryosuke asked calmly.

"You know I'm at practice."

"And yet you're not practicing. Tell the coach you don't feel well and head to the dorms. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Haruichi heard the familiar tone of Ryosuke hanging up before he sighed and pocketed his own phone. He did as his brother told him, feeling guilty the entire time he told the coach he wasn't feeling well.

As he made his way back to the dorms he couldn't help but feel at least a little nauseous. Kuramochi's words played on repeat as he walked. A frown plastered itself to his features as he thought of all the words he'd said make Kuramochi so upset.

"I thought so."

The voice startled him. His head snapped up and he saw his brother leaning against his dorm room door.

He promised himself that he would keep it together, but as the familiarity of his brother came into focus, he felt the familiar sting of tears once again.

"Let's go inside." Ryosuke said, putting his hand out for the key.

Haruichi readily relinquished his key to his brother, looking up as he desperately tried to stop the tears that would inevitably fall.

"What did he say?" Ryosuke asked as he sat on the bed.

Haruichi dropped his bag before sitting next to his brother. His hands were clasped tightly on his lap, tears finally falling and landing on them. He felt Ryosuke tense up.

"I'm gonna kill him." The shorter of the two stated, making way to stand.

"No… it was my fault." Haruichi said after taking a shuddered breath.

"It's your fault that you're crying?" Ryosuke demanded impatiently.

"I wasn't being fair… I was being… Stupid." Haruichi rubbed at his eyes though the tears didn't seem to stop. "I think… I think he b-broke up with me…" The pinklet finished the sentence before biting into his lower lip.

Ryosuke took a sharp breath.

"Why?" The older of the two asked.

"I said… Such hurtful things." Haruichi continued to rub at his eyes to no avail.

Ryosuke walked back over to the bed, sitting next to his brother with an uneasy frown. He slowly raised his hand to rub small circles into his baby brother's back.

"Yoichi's… Not the type of person to jump to such drastic measures… I.. Don't think… Maybe you should…" Ryosuke took a breath as he tried to formulate a thought. "Just talk to him… after you've collected yourself… I don't think he hates you.."

"I think… That I should maybe… Do that." Haruichi said as his tears finally stopped falling and he was able to stop rubbing at his irritated cheeks.

0_0_0_0

"I brought you dinner." Came Kuramochi's voice before he chucked a packaged burger at the southpaw, scaring him out of his nap.

"What?! I'm alive!" Sawamura stated, sitting up too quickly and hitting his head on the bunk.

He cried out before rubbing at the top of his head, not noticing the burger until he felt something warm hit his legs.

"Oh, food." He said with an inclination of his head.

"Yea, you're welcome." Kuramochi said before rolling his eyes.

Sawamura looked up before narrowing his eyes.

"What? Something on my face?" Kuramochi asked.

"No. Something wrong?" Sawamura asked.

"Wha- No. I'm fine." Kuramochi said much too quickly.

"If… you say so…" Sawamura said before opening his burger and taking a bite.

"I do say so." Kuramochi said before huffing.

"Did you figure things out with Haruichi?" The southpaw asked innocently.

Kuramochi tensed, clearly unwilling to answer.

"Furuya's gonna be starting tomorrow." The shortstop said, deliberately changing the subject.

"What?! Why?!" Sawamura demanded.

"Probably because he's the ace." Kuramochi stated before raising a brow.

"I will be ace Kuramochi! You watch! I will be wearing that one very soon!" Sawamura said before taking another bite.

"Stop yelling! You're gonna choke on your burger!" Kuramochi hissed, before hitting the power button on his gaming system.

Sawamura continued his rants about being ace while Kuramochi ignored him in favor of kicking the crap out of the characters on his screen.


	22. Chapter 22

**My neighbours** **and parents have managed to kick my ass in poker...**

 **sadness..**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 22**

Sawamura glanced up from the manga he was reading when he heard a knock. Of course, his older roommate didn't even flinch as he continued to mash at the buttons on his controller, eyes never leaving the screen. The southpaw sighed before pushing himself up and making his way to the door.

There was another knock at the door, pulling an annoyed 'I'm coming' from the pitcher as he wrenched the door open. His features brightened a few shades when Miyuki lay on the other side of the door, eyebrow raised.

"Yoichi, I can hear your game from my room." Miyuki called from over Sawamura's shoulder.

"That's nice Kazuya." The shortstop drawled as he continued to play his game.

Miyuki looked at Sawamra with a questioning demeanor. The pitcher shrugged before stepping aside to let the catcher in.

"Are you feeling better?" Miyuki asked, directing his question at Sawamura.

"Yea, Kuramochi brought me food before, so I'm good."

Miyuki smiled before turning towards the shortstop.

"I can't hear myself think in here." He muttered before walking in front of the television and working on lowering the volume.

"Kazuya- I can't- get out of the way!" Kuramochi stated as he tried to see around the catcher.

'Defeated' flashed across his screen and he leveled the catcher with an unhappy glare.

"You know, Eijun's sick and you're blaring this crap." Miyuki stated with a raised brow.

"Since when do you care about others?" Kuramochi asked defiantly, though he knew just how much the catcher cared for his pitcher.

"You wound me Yoichi." Kazuya said before walking back over to Sawamura's bed and plopping down onto it.

"You're gonna get sick spending all of this time with me." Sawamura huffed as he sat next to Miyuki.

"I have an insane immune system." Miyuki stated as he flopped back.

"Or you're just insane." Kuramochi offered.

"How did your chat with Kominato go?" Miyuki countered with, knowing full well why Kuramochi was in such a bad mood.

"Fantastic." The shortstop said sarcastically.

Miyuki glanced at Sawamura before digging into his pocket and pulling out a few coins.

"Can you grab me a can of coffee?" Miyuki asked as he handed the shorter boy change.

"Didn't you just walk by the machine yourself?"

"I didn't want it back then, now I do." Miyuki said with a small smirk.

"Then go get it yourself, I'm a sick person you know?!" Sawamura stated incredulously.

"I'll return the favor." Miyuki said with a suggestive grin.

The southpaw's cheeks engulfed with red as he stood.

"Fine." He muttered before leaving the room.

0_0_0_0

"Feel better?"

The two of them hadn't spoken for a long ten minutes.

"A little, it helps to talk about it." Haruichi said softly before flopping back onto his bed.

Ryosuke stayed sitting up straight, still next to his little brother.

"It's kinda funny…" Haruichi lead off, small chuckle leaving his lips.

"What is?" The senior second baseman asked while raising a brow.

"How bad you are at dealing with emotions." Haruichi said before sitting back up.

Ryosuke narrowed his eyes towards his younger brother.

"But I really appreciate it. Listening to me and all." The younger of the two said while rolling his shoulders.

"Wanna go swing the bat?" Ryosuke asked casually. "You left practice early and I know I don't take kindly to those who slack off."

 _You're an amazing older brother… you know that right?_

"Yea, I'd like that." Haruichi said with a small smile.

0_0_0_0

"That bad?" Miyuki asked as the door closed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kuramochi demanded as he set his controller down with a huff.

"I'm saying that it didn't go well." Miyuki stated with a small huff.

"No, it didn't Kazuya. I went to talk to him and he threw almost every goddamn thing I said right back into my face." Kuramochi said before standing up in an angry haste.

"Gonna tell me what happened?" Miyuki drawled.

"You know exactly what happened."

"I am many things Yoichi, but a clairvoyant isn't one of them." The catcher stated with a raised brow.

"I asked him to work on our infield and he flipped out." Kuramochi said before huffing loudly.

"That's it?" Miyuki asked while raising his brow.

"I asked why he was so upset and he laughed at me…" Kuramochi stated, his anger dissipating slowly.

Miyuki winced at the situation.

 _That's probably not a good sign…_

"What happened after that?" Miyuki asked.

"He was being a smart ass." Kuramochi said before biting into his cheek. "So I cut the conversation off, it wasn't going anywhere."

"So… What's your plan?"

"Give him his space I guess, He'll come to me when he wants to talk." Kuramochi said before sighing.

"That's probably the smartest thing that has come out of your mouth today." Miyuki stated with an ever growing smirk.

"Fuck off Kazuya." Kuramochi stated before punching his shoulder playfully, small smile growing on his lips.

0_0_0_0

"Honestly…. Sending a sick person to get you a drink. What kind of captain does that?!" Sawamura grumbled under his breath.

"Sawamura, you seem to be looking better."

Sawamura's attention snapped up at the figure in front of him, thoughts of Miyuki leaving his mind immediately.

"Boss!" He cried out of both surprise and acknowledgment.

"Are you feeling up to playing in tomorrow's game?" The coach asked with a scrutinizing gaze.

"Of course boss! I could pitch the whole game! I will become the amazing ace for this team!" Sawamura bellowed.

"No. You will be pitching after Furuya. From the fifth inning if all goes well." The coach stated before nodding. "If you feel sick tomorrow, don't push yourself, let me now as soon as possible."

"I will be fine!" Sawamura stated before smiling.

0_0_0_0

Haruichi thanked his brother before heading back to his room. He was going to sleep off the day and talk to Kuramochi tomorrow before classes started.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura let himself into his room, sighing heavily as he plopped onto his bed next to Miyuki.

"Was it such a hard task?" Miyuki asked with a small smirk, putting his hand out for his drink.

"I drank it on the way here, I got thirsty." Sawamura said defiantly.

"No you didn't." Miyuki stated with a knowing smirk.

"What makes you say that?" the first year pitcher asked casually.

"You think of coffee as bitter, so unless you didn't get the right drink, you didn't drink it." Miyuki deduced.

"I got the right drink, I'm not that stupid." Sawamura stated with a roll of his eyes.

The southpaw chucked the drink at his catcher, causing Miyuki to jump somewhat in surprise.

"Thanks." Miyuki stated as he opened the can and brought it to his lips.

"Yea, you're welcome…" Sawamura stated before flopping back onto the bed.

Miyuki's eyes caught the first year pitcher's pout out of the corner of his lenses.

 _Better be careful, Yoichi would really be upset if I lost composure with him in the room._

The catcher thought as he set his can on the night stand and kicked back next to Sawamura.

"Furuya's starting tomorrow." The pitcher stated before going back to pouting.

"He's ace." Miyuki stated matter of factly.

Kuramochi glanced over his shoulder, rolling his eyes before resuming his game.

"I'm gonna be ace Kazuya, and then Furuya is gonna have to catch up to me." The pitcher stated, determination lighting up the catcher's favorite feature.

"If you say so Mr. Ace Wanna Be." Miyuki stated with a growing smirk.

"And then you won't be able to say those words to me! Because I really will be ace!" The southpaw said before turning away from Miyuki.

 _You're making it really hard for me to hold back here Eijun._

"Are you mad at me?" Miyuki prodded, poking Sawamura's ribs somewhat.

"Maybe." Sawamura stated.

"Maybe not?" Miyuki asked.

"Maybe I am." Sawamura corrected.

"Really?" Miyuki asked while raising a brow.

"Really." Sawamura confirmed.

"Well that just won't do."

Miyuki snaked an arm around Sawamura and pulled him on top of him. The catcher sent a glance towards the shortstop's direction, pleased that he hadn't grabbed the other's attention.

"What are you doing?" Sawamura asked with a pout.

"Why are you mad at me?" Miyuki asked with a small smirk.

"I'm not an ace wanna be. I will be ace." Sawamura stated.

"That's basically what that means." Miyuki stated before rolling his eyes.

"Whatever." Sawamura stated before avoiding Miyuki's gaze.

 _I'm blaming you._

Miyuki brought a hand up to cup around the back of Sawamura's neck and gently pulled him down, linking their lips. He could feel the heat that spread across his pitcher's cheeks almost instantaneously. He also felt the pitcher kissing him back, letting him know that he wasn't actually upset with him.

0_0_0_0

Haruichi heard the alarm go off, pulling him from his warm cocoon of blankets. Practice had been called off for the morning, seeings how the team would be playing a game in the afternoon. The pinklet had reveled in the extra few hours of sleep.

He changed into his school's uniform before glancing at his sleeping roommate.

"If you want to take a shower like you were saying last night, you should get up now." The pinklet stated, effectively pulling his roommate from sleep.

"Ugh… Too early…" The other stated before rolling over.

"Whatever you say." Haruichi stated before shrugging and grabbing his bag.

The pinklet made his way towards the school building, mentally listing off the places Kuramochi would hang out at before class started. He knew that the shortstop went in early when they didn't have practice, usually to have breakfast with a couple of his classmates.

He made his way towards the first place on his list; the second year level stairwell. As he made his way up the stairs it wasn't hard for him to pick up on his boyfriend's laugh. A small smile formed itself on his lips as he anticipated talking to him, though as he continued to climb the stairs, he heard someone else's voice.

"Mr. Santeni? Oh my god." A female's voice stated before laughter filled the stairwell.

"No, for real! He was so pissed. Said something about us being really disrespectful."

 _That's Yoichi's voice._

"No kidding! I can't believe he read your message out loud." The girl said before giggling.

"Honestly, it's his fault. If he didn't read it we wouldn't be in this mess." The shortstop stated before huffing.

"You're so funny Yoichi."

Haruichi tensed. He knew that voice.

"I actually missed hanging out with you Yukki, it's refreshing." Kuramochi stated before laughing.

"What kind of compliment is that?" Yukki stated before laughing.

"No seriously, talking about anything unrelated to baseball is kinda nice." The shortstop stated shrugging.

Haruichi simply turned on his heels.

 _Fine, do whatever you want._

The pinklet thought as the familiar bubbles of jealousy boiled in the pit of his stomach.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Furuya was dazed as he walked through the halls, the extra few hours of sleep doing little to keep him from being tired in the morning. A yawn was slipping passed his lips when He caught a blur of pink out of the corner of his eyes. The first year pitcher turned his attention towards the window to see Haruichi making quick haste out in the courtyard. Pushing the window open, Furuya did something incredibly out of character; he called out to him.

"Haruichi." The pitcher called, effectively grabbing the second baseman's attention.

When Haruichi looked up at him, it wasn't hard for him to see the pain written into his features, to see the anger that he tried to pass off as nothing, or the forced smile that the pinklet showed as if to hide his emotions from the pitcher that knew him so well.

"Good morning Furuya." Came Haruichi's voice before a timid wave was sent his way.

"Don't we have class?" Furuya asked.

Ever since Haruichi had started dating Kuramochi, it wasn't hard for the monster rookie to pick up on how the other continued to get bolder and bolder. Even from the first day he had connected the dots about the shortstop and second baseman, Haruichi had walked in, his fingers linked in Kuramochi's, before heading to the lineup for food.

Furuya shook his head in an effort to get rid of the images that were floating through it.

"Y-yea, I forgot something in my room." Haruichi said all too quickly.

"Class starts in less than five minutes… You won't make it to your room and back, if it's just a textbook you can borrow mine."

Haruichi seemed hesitant as the monster rookie spoke.

"Hold on, I'll meet you at the door." Furuya called before leaving the window.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki heard Furuya's voice before he saw him. It was kinda funny though, seeings how they weren't on the same floor.

 _Is Furuya yelling? I'd expect this from Eijun, but mr. Monster Rookie? Not in the slightest._

Looking down at the ground gave him his reason.

 _Kominato? Ah…_

It hadn't taken long for Miyuki to find out that Furuya was interested in a certain short pinklet. It was his job as a catcher to know his pitchers after all.

He watched as the pinklet's shoulders tensed up as Furuya spoke, he watched as the shorter boy tried to escape the conversation to no avail. It was all easy for him to pick up, because right in that moment, he saw part of himself in Ryosuke's younger brother.

0_0_0_0

"Common, I'll pull my desk closer so that you can read off of my book." Furuya said before scooting his desk over towards Haruichi.

 _You're so funny Yoichi!_

Haruichi felt his hands clench into fists and pressed them into his lap as he forced a smile to his face. Furuya placed his textbook in between the two of them, glancing towards Haruichi as he did so.

"Thanks." The pinklet said, pushing his bag, which contained the needed books for the class, under his desk and out of view.

 _I actually missed hanging out with you Yukki, it's refreshing._

Haruichi felt his finger nails digging into his palms.

 _No seriously, talking about anything unrelated to baseball is kinda nice._

Haruichi could feel his stomach rolling over, the breakfast he had eaten before heading to school making its presence known as it danced.

The teacher walked in, announcing that he would be taking attendance before he began to check off names, reading those he hadn't seen as he had stepped into the room.

"Are you ok?"

Haruichi turned towards Furuya, surprised to hear the concern in his voice.

"Yea, why?" The second baseman asked with a small forced smile.

"You seem really pale." Furuya reached out and brushed his wrist against Haruichi's forehead.

Haruichi tensed at both the comment and the unexpected touch.

"Y-yea… I guess I don't feel too great…" The second baseman divulged.

"We have a game this afternoon…" Furuya said with a small frown.

"I'll be fine though! Don't worry!" Haruichi quickly stated, waving his hands in front of himself dismissively.

"Kominato, Furuya, would you mind paying attention please?" The teacher called before sighing, causing both the first years to pale somewhat before nodding.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi sat in class when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Glancing up to see if the coast was clear, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the message.

'How did this morning go?'

Kuramochi stared at the message for several long seconds before cocking his head somewhat. He glanced at the sender and felt even more confused. Ryosuke's name was sitting in the sender's box, causing him to feel rather lost and slightly afraid.

'I donno what you mean'

Kuramochi quickly hit send before returning his attention to the board. His eyes roamed the equations that spread across it, though he wasn't really taking any of the information in.

 _What could Ryosuke being going on about? This morning was nothing special? Not even practice… Seems rather strange._

A couple minutes passed before his phone vibrated again. Following the same procedure, Kuramochi checked to see if the teacher's attention was occupied before opening the text.

'Are you being smart with me Yoichi?'

Kuramochi stared down at his phone in pure puzzlement before typing a message back.

'I honestly have no idea what you're talking about'

He hit send before shaking his head somewhat.

Not even thirty seconds later his phone vibrated again, though this time, the sender was different.

'How naughty, dirty texting during class time.'

Kuramochi didn't even have to look at the sender before sending his response.

'Fuck off Kazuya'

The shortstop rolled his eyes before closing Miyuki's message and looking up at the board. The teacher was explaining an elaborate formula that he couldn't be bothered to care about at the moment. His phone was capturing his attention yet again.

'Nothing happened this morning?'

Kuramochi was at a loss for what could have happened that would have Ryosuke's attention.

'Nothing'

He sent back to confirm the prior second baseman's prior text.

0_0_0_0

"Maybe you should head to the nurses office…" Furuya said as the teacher rambled on about some historical event.

"I'm fine…" Haruichi replied with tersely.

"I don't believe you." Furuya said so quietly that the second baseman almost missed it.

"And why's that?" Haruichi asked, his eyes narrowing somewhat.

"You're way too tense." Furuya said before sighing.

The pitcher had never been the overly calculative nor observant type, except for when Haruichi was involved.

"Boys, if I have to say something again, I'm gonna split you up." The teacher said, effectively directing all stares towards both Haruichi and Furuya.

"Fine." Haruichi mumbled.

He stood up before looking at the teacher.

"I don't feel well, can I head down to the nurse?"

The teacher regarded him coldly before sighing and heading over to his desk. He quickly wrote Haruichi a note before letting the pinklet leave the room, leaving Furuya and his textbook alone with an empty seat.

0_0_0_0

As Haruichi made his way towards the nurse's office, he felt his phone vibrate from within his pocket.

'You chickened out.'

He sighed heavily at his brother's text, very much not in the mood to deal with it, but, unfortunately he had opened the text and so now Ryosuke would be waiting for a reply.

'I didn't chicken out, I chose not to' He sent before knocking on the nurse's door.

"Come in!" Came a gentle voice before Haruichi pulled the door open. "What can I do for ya?"

A petite lady with blond hair occupied the tiny desk in the nurse's office. She had a kind smile that had soon pulled one from Haruichi as well.

"I'm not feeling well and was wondering if I could rest here for a bit?" The pinklet asked softly.

"Of course hun. Use that room right over there." The nurse said kindly, pointing towards a small room with a tiny bed.

"Thank you." Haruichi said before making his way to said room.

Somewhere during the conversation, his phone had vibrated, so as soon as he was laying down, back facing the nurse, he pulled his cellphone from his pocket and opened the message.

'Stop hiding when the going gets tough. The issue isn't gonna fix itself, carry your own weight sometimes.'

Haruichi stared at the message, the words sharp, not holding back any punches. He read the message over several time before shutting his screen off and dropping the phone onto the mattress. As he mulled his brother's words over, a memory came floating to the surface.

 _I saw some of your practice yesterday, Yoichi is trying to sync with you more than you are with him. Make his life a little more easier and meet him half way instead of dumping all the work on him ok?_

They were his brother's words once again. Ryosuke never seemed to pull back his metaphorical punches. His words always held a sharp side to them, but he also never said them without reason. Maybe he was right. Haruichi couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to prove Ryosuke wrong, or if ever at this point.

 _I have to meet Yoichi half way… I can't just expect him to fix this… Even if he cut things off… I… I'm not ready for us to be done._

The second baseman resolved as he let his eyes fall shut.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki was starting to get anxious. Scratch that, he'd been anxious since early morning. Why was his father coming to the game? Why today's game out of everything? It was just a practice game after all. Was there a significant meaning to his father coming to see him on this date?

The catcher tried to focus on the board in front of him, though to no avail. Thoughts of his father watching him during the game kept invading his mind.

 _Does he expect me to talk to him afterwards? What if he finds out about Eijun…Oh god… What if he expects something from me? I don't know what he'd want…_

"Yo, Kazuya."

Miyuki looked up to see Kuramochi raising a brow at him.

"Hm?" The catcher mumbled.

"I donno about you, but I'm starving, so let's go." The shortstop said before heading out of the room.

Miyuki hadn't even heard the lunch bell, much less everyone leave the room. He glanced around the room before standing and following after Kuramochi.

"I think I'm gonna head down to the first year's floor." Miyuki stated casually.

Kuramochi glanced over his shoulder before shrugging.

"Say hi to the idiot for me."

"Which one, yours or mine?" Miyuki asked with a smirk.

"Very funny Kazuya."

"I do try." The catcher said before waving over his shoulder.

0_0_0_0

"Did you see that second year? The one with the brown hair?"

"The one with glasses right? What a hottie!"

"I wonder if he's single."

"Who knows, I'm too chicken to ask anyways."

Sawamura looked up when he heard the word glasses. The first year listened to the girls gossip before turning towards the classroom door.

"Miyuki?" He asked in surprise as said second year popped his head into the room.

"Finally found your classroom." Miyuki said before rolling his eyes. "Wanna go for a walk?"

Sawamura's eyes flickered to the clock before he shrugged.

"Sure, why not." He said before pushing up and making his way towards the door.

"Kuramochi says hi." Miyuki said before smirking.

"Why are you smirking if all he said is hi?" The first year asked suspiciously.

"Classified information." Miyuki said before shrugging.

"You're so full of it." Sawamura grumbled before rolling his eyes.

The sound of Miyuki's chuckle cause shivers to run along his spine and down to his fingers.

 _Ah… I want to hold his hand…_

The first year turned to look away, forcing his hand to stay by his side. There was no way he was going to force the ever so prideful Miyuki Kazuya into something he didn't want in the middle of a crowded high school.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Miyuki casted a side long glance towards the southpaw, perturbed with how quiet he was being.

"Everything all right?" The catcher asked as they walked through the first year's hall.

"Sawamura! Did you read that last chapter? It was amazing wasn't-"

Miyuki regarded the small girl that had made her way down the hallway so excitedly.

"Yea, I did." Sawamura said before smiling.

The girl had short brown hair and an easy enough smile on the eyes.

 _Am I really getting jealous over a little girl? Nope. Stop it._

The catcher chastised himself.

"This guy looks like he just walked out of a host club!" The girl said before looking over at Sawamura.

Miyuki couldn't stop the smirk that made its way to his lips.

"Don't be fooled, this guy may have looks but he has no traits of being a host." Sawamura said before waving his hand dismissively.

Miyuki watched the two first years speak, raising his brow at his southpaw's words.

"Is he mute?" The girl than asked.

"Unfortunately, not." Sawamura said before huffing.

"I'm standing right here." Miyuki stated, raising his brow again.

"Here's the real question." The girl said before smiling. "Is he single?"

Miyuki couldn't help but smirk at how bold the girl in front of him was. He glanced towards Sawamura, wondering if the pitcher would be answering for him. What met his eyes confused him somewhat. There was a definite tint of pink on the southpaw's cheeks, but his lips were pressed into a tight line.

The catcher sighed before pulling Sawamura towards him, wrapping his arms around his waist before plopping his chin on the pitcher's shoulder.

"No he's not." Miyuki responded before smirking.

The girl could only laugh as the southpaw tensed up, blush engulfing his features.

"I see!" The girl said as she smile. "What a catch Sawamura." She said before nodding. "I'll catch up with you later, don't want to monopolize your time."

0_0_0_0

Haruichi sat up and rubbed at his face. He'd actually managed to fall asleep in the nurse's office, which his body was thanking him for immensely.

 _I should talk to him… My jealousy is seriously getting out of hand… I can't be one of the psychos that doesn't even let him have frineds…_

The pinklet slid off the bed, slipping his feet into his shoes before pocketing the phone he'd left on the bed. He thanked the nurse before checking the clock.

 _Lunch time hm? Maybe he'll want to eat together?_

Haruichi showed as small smile as he pulled the door closed behind him and walked down the halls. He came to his decision and pulled his phone out, typing out a message before hitting send.

 _I suppose I'll have my answer depending on what he sends back._

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi laughed as Yukki puffed out her cheeks.

"It's not funny!" The second year whined before pouting.

"Your ex sounds like a tool." Kuramochi stated before smirking.

"He may have taken me to a sea food restaurant after I told him I was allergic to that stuff, but at least the thought was there." Yukki said before sighing.

"And yet, you still dumped him." The shortstop said before rolling his eyes.

"Long distance relationships are pointless though… and, why date him when I've started liking someone else?" Yukki said before focusing her gaze on the shortstop.

Kuramochi was about to answer when his pocket went off.

He was surprise to see Haruichi's name on the screen as he opened the message up. It was a simple text, containing three words.

'Are you busy?'

The shortstop rose his brow at the text before replying.

'No, what's up?'

Haruichi must have been waiting for his message because not even thirty seconds later his phone chimed again.

'Wanna have lunch with me?'

The shortstop couldn't help the smile at that.

"Uh, so, what's up?" Yukki asked, startling Kuramochi.

He had forgotten that he'd been sitting with the second year girl and felt a little bad for it, though he smiled softly before standing.

"I gotta bounce, I need to see someone."

Yukki's smile faltered as Kuramochi sent a quick text before grabbing what was remaining from his lunch.

'Courtyard. Be there in 2 mins'

0_0_0_0

Sawamura's cheeks couldn't get any darker as he watched Yuiko walk away. Miyuki still hadn't pulled away, his face was way too close for people not to notice, not to mention the arms that were wrapped carelessly around the southpaw's waist.

"Well, that was entertaining." Miyuki stated and Sawamura just knew his infamous smirk was in place.

"You're so full of yourself." Sawamura muttered.

"Mh, how exciting. I've made us official." Miyuki continued before dropping his arms and stepping back.

"You needed public acceptance to feel official?" Sawamura asked while raising a brow.

"Oh, big words, have you been practicing?" Miyuki asked before side stepping the elbow that Sawamura sent towards his stomach. "Are you trying to assault me?"

"Either you're trying to seduce me, talk baseball, or piss me off. There is honestly no in between." The southpaw stated before rolling his eyes.

"So you're saying that I do seduce you?" Miyuki asked with a playful smirk.

"Kazuya, keep it up and I'm gonna kiss you in front of the whole population of the first year hallway." Sawamura stated matter of factly.

"What bravado." Miyuki stated, eyes brightening with excitement.

"You actually want me to, don't you." Sawamura huffed, his words more of a statement than a question.

"I'm not saying no." Miyuki said while shrugging.

Sawamura glanced up at the second year catcher before slipping his hand in his and tugging him down the hall.

"I'm not gonna lie here, you taking the initiative is one hell of a turn on." Miyuki stated before smirking.

"I can't believe this." Sawamura stated before huffing.

"Where are we heading?"

Sawamura's steps slowed as something caught his attention.

"Kuramochi?... And Furuya?" The southpaw muttered before cocking his head slightly.

Sawamura's words effectively grabbed Miyuki's attention. The catcher looked out the window before his eyes widened some.

"Oh shit." Slipped passed his lips before he began to drag his pitcher towards the courtyard.

0_0_0_0

Haruichi was leaning against one of the trees in the shade of the courtyard when Furuya popped out of nowhere.

"Hey Furuya." The second baseman said with a genuine smile.

"Haruichi… I went to find you at the nurse's office and you weren't there." The monster rookie said, his face expressionless, though Haruichi could read the slight pull of his lips.

"Yea, I woke up and wanted to get some lunch." Haruichi said before smiling. "Sorry, I'm meeting up with someone, I didn't think you'd come get me." The second baseman said before laughing gently.

"You looked upset this morning."

Haruichi looked up at the pitcher and one of his best friends before sighing, his smile slipping from his lips.

"Yea, Yoichi and I have hit a rough patch."

"I'd never let that smile fade." Furuya stated.

Haruichi looked up at him, his features showing how startled he was from hearing those words.

"Uh…" Haruichi laughed awkwardly before speaking again. "It's not his fault, I-"

"All he'll ever do is hurt you." Furuya said before stepping towards the second baseman.

Haruichi felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he pressed himself against the tree, the bark of the tree digging into his spine.

"Furuya?..." Came Haruichi's timid voice.

Furuya's eyes seemed to flash with determination as he placed his palms on the tree, Haruichi's face between his arms.

"I'd never let you cry." Furuya stated as he got closer.

"I don't-"

"I've never make you feel the way he has." The pitcher promised before closing the place between the two of them.

Haruichi's eyes widened as he felt Furuya's lips on his own.

 _Doesn't he know?! That I'm not… He can't…_

Haruichi felt tears burning his eyes as Furuya continued to push forward.

"Haruichi, sorry I'm late, I ran into…."

Haruichi felt bile rise into his throat as Murphy's Law slapped him across the face.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi had had one hell of a time getting Yukki to leave him be as he left to meet with Haruichi. He had even ran down the stairs to make up for the time he'd wasted in telling the second year that he had to leave.

"Haruichi, sorry I'm late, I ran into…" Kuramochi's voice died off as his eyes widened.

Nothing would have prepared him for what he saw when he set foot into the courtyard where the two had promised to meet. Before he could think better of it, his legs were moving towards the two that were making out against the tree.

He wrenched Seido's monster rookie from where he stood and chucked him to the ground a couple feet away from the tree.

"What. The. Actual. Fuck?" He growled as his eyes filled with uncontrollable rage.

Furuya's features stayed impassive, only succeeding in furthering Kuramochi's rage meter. As Furuya stood, Kuramochi had to meet his gaze to the taller boys.

"You son of a bitch." Kuramochi growled as he clenched his fists.

"Yoichi! It isn't what you think it is!" Haruichi said, his voice cracking somewhat.

"So I didn't just see my boyfriend making out with the team's ace?" Kuramochi asked, turning a cold glare towards Haruichi.

Haruichi was speechless, he didn't have words to deny that he had in fact been kissed by the monster rookie.

"If there's something I never thought you were Haruichi, it'd be a cheater." Kuramochi said, the hurt in his voice being masked by the pure aura of rage that encased him. "I guess I was wrong."

"It wasn't his fault. I was trying to comfort him." Furuya stated.

"The only think keeping me from breaking your wrist right now is the fact that it would harbor the team." Kuramochi growled, his glare sharpening as he turned his attention towards Furuya. "You can have him, I don't want someone who's unfaithful." The shortstop said before clenching his jaw, along with his hands and heading back straight where he had come from.

"Yoichi-" Haruichi started desperately.

"Enough Kominato. I've said my piece." Even as the words left his lips, pain blossomed from his chest.

The shortstop quickened his pace, ripping the courtyard door open and making his way into the school. He wasn't paying attention to his surroundings as he turned the corner and ended up slamming into someone.

"I'm sorry." He muttered before trying to move passed them.

"Yoichi."

Kuramochi looked up to see Miyuki and Sawamura standing before him, both breathing heavily as if they had been running.

"Kazuya… Sawamura. I really gotta… go somewhere." Kuramochi said, his voice getting quieter and quieter as he tried to bury the building lump in his throat.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki shook his head before glancing back at Sawamura, who showed a small encouraging smile before taking a step back.

"Text me later." The southpaw stated before walking pass the two second years and heading into the courtyard.

"Common Yoichi, I'm sure there's a vacant classroom around here." Miyuki mumbled before grabbing the shortstop's arm and dragging him through the halls.

It wasn't hard for him to pick up on how hard Kuramochi was trying to keep the pieces from shattering. When the catcher had managed to find a classroom, he made sure to shut the door before turning towards the shortstop.

"Did you hit him?" Miyuki asked softly.

"I didn't fucking do anything." Kuramochi said, taking a shuddered breath as he sat on the desk. "I wanted to punch him so hard… So bad Kazuya.." Kuramochi laughed harshly before clenching his jaw.

Miyuki was no idiot, he could see the tears that brimmed his best friend's eyes as he spoke. The catcher tried to picture what he would have done had Sawamura been in Kominato's place.

"Did you let him try and talk?" Miyuki asked softly.

"Would you have listened to Sawamura if you walked in on him kissing someone else?"

Miyuki frowned because Kuramochi was absolutely right, he wouldn't have listened to a bloody word. He would have locked himself in his room. He wouldn't have even bothering going back into the school building.

"Why wasn't I enough? What did I do wrong? I know I'm not some bloody romantic but for fuck sakes." The shortstop stated before punching the desk beside him. "I should have known. I should have fucking known." He growled before hitting the desk again.

Miyuki watched as the tears slipped down Kuramochi's cheeks, a frown pulling at his lips. He sat next to Kuramochi, squeezing his shoulder tightly before letting his hand fall.

"I'm right here." He whispered, remembering how Kuramochi had been there for him when he'd needed someone.


	25. Chapter 25

**Just five more chapters O_O"**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 25**

Sawamura made his way towards the frozen figure by the tree. He took a deep breath as he got closer, seeing how perplexed Haruichi seemed to be.

Sawamura watched as Furuya made his way towards the shorter boy, reaching out towards him before Haruichi slapped his arm away.

"Don't touch me! I wanted to apologize to him! I wanted to make things better!" The pinklet screamed, tears spilling down his cheeks. "Now he hates me! What were you thinking Furuya?! I was with someone else! I wanted to be with him! You just… What were you thinking?..." Haruichi's hands were shaking at his sides, and Furuya had frozen a mere arm's distance away.

Sawamura watched as the pitcher took a step back, not used to the shorter boy being angry with him.

"Why don't you understand?!" Haruichi hissed before turning a glare towards the pitcher. "I don't like you! I never will either! Get it through your head!"

Sawamura winced as unmasked pain took over Furuya's features before the boy looked away.

"Fine…" He muttered before turning away from the angry second baseman and making his way out of the courtyard.

0_0_0_0

"Bet you never thought you'd see me cry." Kuramochi said after a long stretch of silence.

"I could say the same thing." Miyuki said before sighing.

"Man… I signed up for baseball, not a bloody soap opera…" The shortstop said before leaning back.

It wasn't hard for the team captain to pick up on the pink shade in Kuramochi's eyes as he took a deep breath.

"You ok?" Miyuki ventured.

"Honestly? Not really." Kuramochi said before sighing. "But I'll be fine." The shortstop said before shrugging.

Most people would view what had just been shared as a complete contradiction, except for Miyuki, Kuramochi's words held so much sense to him that he could only nod.

"Want to head to class?" Miyuki asked as he stood.

"I probably look like shit." Kuramochi muttered as he stood.

"Not much of a contrast from normal." Miyuki offered before smirking.

"Screw you." Kuramochi said before cracking a smirk of his own.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura waited as Haruichi slipped to sitting on the ground pulling his knees up to his face. The southpaw glanced around, small frown setting into place.

 _Why does this feel like I'm walking on very thin ice… You'd think I'd be less nervous when it came to talking about serious things…_

The southpaw dropped down to sit next to the second baseman, leaning against the tree as he listened to Haruichi's shuddered breaths.

"So… Rough day eh?" Sawamura asked softly.

He glanced over, seeing that Haruichi hadn't looked up from hiding his face in his arms.

"It's gotten rather complicating huh?" The southpaw continued before sighing.

Haruichi's breathing wasn't getting any less erratic as he was stuck in between sobs and silent crying.

"I know we've all got our problems, and hell, yours is definitely present."

Sawamura felt Haruichi tense at his words.

"But you know, if it's a problem, it can be solved. No matter how difficult." The southpaw said, speaking gently. "I would know, my math skills are horrible. Kazuya taught me, in between being told how much I was an idiot, that I can solve the problems if I keep at it."

Haruichi let a soft sob pass his lips as Sawamura spoke.

"I know it looks rough right now, but hey, Kazuya and I aren't perfect, we've hit some rather rough patches, trust me, and we've been able to overcome them."

"Did Miyuki think that you were cheating on him?" Haruichi hissed, annoyance leaking into his tone.

"Hm… Nope, that's never been a problem between us."

"Then you have no idea-"

"But he did think that I didn't love him at one point, and I think it's the same thing. Like cheating his heart or something." Sawamura said before smiling childishly.

Haruichi simply stared at him dumbfounded, never having heard the pitcher speak so… deeply.

0_0_0_0

Kataoka stared at the door after it had fallen closed, irritation sweeping over him. He leant back into his desk chair, slipping his glasses off to pinch at the bridge between his eyes. He then pulled the papers out for today's game and began marking all over them, changing roster positions before chucking the pen down.

 _Leaving the game to just those two? I know Sawamura hasn't come to me saying that he feels sick… but can I really put the game on his shoulders… It may just be a practice game, but it could do wonders for both moral and confidence… Damn it… of all the things…_

0_0_0_0

"Kazuya."

Miyuki glanced over his shoulder, humming in answer to his name.

"Thanks." Came the shortstop's short reply before he looked away.

"For?"

"You know exactly what for."

"Yea, but I wanna hear you say it." The catcher said before his shit eating grin began to appear.

"You're a pain in the ass." Kuramochi huffed before walking into the classroom.

"Ah! Thank you!" Miyuki replied with, laughter passing through his lips as he followed after his best friend.

0_0_0_0

"Sa-wa-mu-ra."

"Ryosuke!" The southpaw's voice squeaked as the third year came closer.

Haruichi looked up in surprise before quickly looking away, wanting to hide his tear stained face from his older brother.

 _I didn't think it would get this bad…_

"What happened?" The third year asked, his dark aura only seeming to get darker.

"Well!" Sawamura stated as he scrambled to his feet. "I leave this to you!" He squeaked before running into the school.

 _What is going on Yoichi?..._

Ryosuke made no move to stop the southpaw either, he knew all too well that Sawamura had no part in why Haruichi was so upset.

"Are you not gonna talk to me?" The third year asked as he leant his back onto the tree behind him, propping one of his legs against the lower area of the stump.

When Haruichi continued to ignore him, Ryosuke could only sigh in both defeat and slight annoyance.

"You know, sometimes I wonder what you see in him." Ryosuke said before chewing on the inside of his cheek.

He watched as his brother flinched somewhat before continuing to stare at the grass in between his feet.

 _Got your attention._

"Doesn't matter." Haruichi grounded out, though his voice was thick with pain.

"You wouldn't be here if it didn't matter." The third year stated before shaking his head.

"Doesn't matter anymore." Haruichi corrected.

"I saw Furuya leaving the courtyard. He seemed dismayed."

When Haruichi's fists clenched Ryosuke rose his brow.

 _Bingo._

"Ah, I found a piece of the problem." The third year stated knowingly.

"He's the whole problem! I wanted to apologize you know!" Haruichi said harshly. "I wanted to say sorry to Yoichi! I wanted to make up. I wanted to see him smile at me again! Do you know what I got instead?! I got him telling Furuya that he could have me!" Haruichi's eyes started to water again and the second baseman rubbed at the desperately. "Damn it!" He growled in annoyance.

"What happened?" Ryosuke asked for the second time.

"Furuya kissed me!" Haruichi said, glaring at the grass harshly, as if it had somehow cause his afternoon's harsh demise.

Ryosuke coughed into his hand, mentally penciling in a personal appointment in which Furuya would definitely need a couple sick days for afterwards.

 _I knew our monster rookie had feelings for him, though I never thought…_

"He knew I was with Yoichi! Damn it!" Haruichi growled.

"Yoichi saw it… Didn't he?" Ryosuke asked before pressing his lips together.

"See it?! He bloody well walked in on Furuya trying to stick his tongue down my throat!" Haruichi was three levels from screaming again.

Ryosuke's fingers curled as he tried to supress his anger towards a certain first year pitcher.

"Did you tell Yoichi that you tried to push Furuya away?"

"I wanted to! I couldn't though… I didn't… Push him away." Haruichi lead off, clearly ashamed.

"You… didn't push him away? No wonder Yoichi's so angry." Ryosuke stated matter of factly.

"I know why he's angry. I was too shell shocked to push Furuya away. One minute I was telling him that I was meeting up with Yoichi and the next he was pushing me up against the tree…" Haruichi led off, his voice wavering.

"I'm gonna kill him." Ryosuke decided, his voice rather dark as he pushed off the tree trunk, dark aura reinstating itself.

Haruichi stood up, using the tree to guide himself up.

"Ryosuke…Wait."

Maybe it was the way his little brother had seemed so broken, the way his voice had wavered when his name left his lips. The prior second baseman looked back with a mask of indifference.

"How do I fix it?" Haruichi whispered.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura helped Miyuki put his shin guards on as the other worked on his chest plate.

"I was surprised." Miyuki said as Sawamura stood.

"I'm not… Haruichi's words must have really hit him hard." The southpaw said as he grabbed his glove. "Toss with me to warm up?"

Miyuki nodded before grabbing his mask as the southpaw stood and grabbed a ball.

"The coach has you starting the game, if we can go seven, that would be ideal. Nori will come in and close the game." The catcher explained as they set up to practice like their opponents.

"Yea. How's Kuramochi?" The southpaw asked as he warmed up his arm.

"Yoichi's fine. He isn't pitiful enough to let this hinder his game." Miyuki said before sighing. "He'll be fine.. Kominato?"

"Ryosuke talked to him… I'm sure he's better than he was when I left…" Sawamura said before frowning.

 _Hopefully their animosity doesn't cloud the field… I don't need anything keeping Eijun from focusing. We've already got their relationship issues on mind, don't make it a field issue._

Miyuki sighed before tossing the ball back.

"Stop sighing so much, try cracking a smile. The team needs their captain in high spirits Kazuya." Sawamura said before offering Miyuki a smile of his own.

 _You're right.._

Miyuki couldn't help but smile before tossing the ball back.

"We're playing Teiko… Keep an eye on their catcher, Kengo Inui. He's got nothing but praise from everyone that's seen him play." Miyuki said as he signaled for the next pitch.

"Is that jealousy I hear?" Sawamura said, small smirk showing.

"Their pitcher, also ace, Mukai… has an interesting pitching style." Miyuki carried on as if not hearing his pitcher's words.

"Really?"

"Though not as interesting as yours, it'll probably give some of our batters a hard time."

"A praise from the demon catcher?!" Sawamura demanded with shock.

"Where's their ace? Are they planning on throwing this game?"

Miyuki turned to glance at the other team's dugout, picking up their pitcher's voice.

"Patience, you musn't disregard their southpaw or he may surprise you."

 _Kengo Inui, good sense as always._

"The southpaw!? You must be kidding, me lose to that brat?" Mukai declared loudly, effectively grabbing Sawamura's attention. "Seido's whole team revolves around their catcher. Without him, the team would be garbage."

"Common Mukai…" Someone from Teiko's bench muttered softly.

Miyuki's gaze sharpened onto the pair that were discussing none too quietly before turning his attention towards the Seido dugout. The whole bench seemed to be giving off a dark aura, glares pointed towards a certain loud mouth pitcher.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi joined the circle of Seido uniforms standing outside of the dugout.

"Did that brat say what I think he just did?" The shortstop demanded.

"Cocky bastard." Kanemaru growled unhappily.

Miyuki glanced around the circle of Seido players, picking up on the various degrees of annoyance leaking from them. Sawamura had a look of determination as he glared towards the Teiko dugout.

A small smirk graced the catcher's lips before he took a breath.

"We'll just have to prove them wrong."

This grabbed the attention of each and every one of the players that were huddled up. A smile graced Kataoka's lips as Miyuki spoke to the team.

"What do we do to teams who underestimate us?" Miyuki asked with a dark smirk.

"Crush 'em." Toujou said before a sharing Miyuki's smirk.

"Who are we?" Miyuki called out.

"Seido!" his teammates called back.

"Whose game is this?!"

"Seido's!"


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Mukai had his tongue out as Seido's second hitter popped a hit to the shortstop.

"Out!"

Haruichi clenched his teeth as he slowed to a jog before walking into the dugout.

"How's it look Kominato?"

Haruichi glanced towards Miyuki as the captain grabbed a batting helmet.

"He uses the corners really well, and I think he threw a screwball for that last pitch." The pinklet stated before shaking his head and setting his bat down.

"You'll get 'em next time Haruichi!" Sawamura stated before giving him the thumbs up.

 _I'm not even focusing on the game… Damn it._

Sawamura watched as Miyuki brought his glove up to his face, effectively covering his mouth as he began to speak.

"Alright. Time to kick it up a notch, I know it's a little early, but let's start adding in a couple cutter balls, shall we?"

A small smirk painted itself across the pitcher's lips, giving Miyuki all the answer he needed.

"That's what I like to see. Mukai may have his corners, but you have your inside to outside pitches. You also have me calling the shots. What could go wrong?" Miyuki asked, that smirk of his own growing.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi's weight was focused on his toes, eyes focused on Miyuki's fingers as he signaled a pitch. The shortstop's feet moved, positioning himself for where he calculated to be better positioning should the ball come his way.

Kuramochi's muscles tensed as Sawamura's leg rose, the pitcher's windup carrying out. The shortstop let out a breath as the ball skimmed the strike zone on the outside, barely earning him a strike.

This process repeated each time the first year pitcher began his windup, it was Kuramochi's indication on being ready.

0_0_0_0

"Three for three, you're doing rather well."

"Where's the insult that's supposed to follow that?" Sawamura asked, his gaze scrutinizing the catcher in front of him.

"Why is it that every time I compliment someone, this is the reaction I get?" Miyuki asked while rolling his eyes.

"Might be because you're such a dick most of the time." Sawamura offered nonchalantly.

"I'm hurt."

"Then be nicer?"

Miyuki turned a raised brow towards Sawamura, who in return, had an angelic smile. The catcher slipped his helmet on, pulling his gloves on and grabbing a bat.

"Mukai went three for three as well. Gotta start this off eh?" Miyuki said before sighing.

"Knock 'em dead Captain." Sawamura stated as he made his way to the railing, making to watch Miyuki's at bat.

"You should call me that more often." Miyuki said with a smirk.

"I'll think about it if you hit a homer." Sawamura stated.

0_0_0_0

Mukai rolled his nose as Seido's cleanup batter stood up to the plate. The ump nodded as Miyuki tipped his helmet somewhat as a greeting. Although a practice game didn't attract as big a crowd as a game in a stadium would, Miyuki could still hear his favorite cheer being chanted as he fell into his batting stance.

Mukai regarded Seido's ace with distaste, as if to throw him off his game. Of course, the catcher was anything but perturbed. He returned Mukai's glare with a shit eating grin, managing to tick said pitcher off.

Mukai whipped his arm down, sending the ball towards Miyuki. The ball skimmed Miyuki's shins before slamming into the catcher's mitt.

"Strike!"

 _Oi oi…_

Seido's captain glanced back at the ump, wondering just how he'd seen that as a strike.

 _Mukai likes to play corners… That was inside bottom corner…_

Miyuki fell into his stance as Mukai nodded, interpreting his catcher's sign. Seconds later the ball came screaming towards the cleanup batter.

 _Straight down the middle? It's definitely a ploy…_

Miyuki's muscles twitched in anticipation as the ball continued to head down the middle.

 _Where's the break?!_

Miyuki couldn't help it, it was in his nature to swing, especially if Mukai was throwing him a meatball. Just as the ball should have made contact with his bat, the catcher was met with displeasure as the ball broke lower than he'd aimed for.

"Strike two!"

Mukai stuck his tongue out as Seido's cleanup rolled his shoulders out, enjoying the look of annoyance that passed through his eyes.

0_0_0_0

"Apparently I'm not motivational enough." Sawamura drawled as he chucked Miyuki's glove at him.

"What, a double isn't good enough?" Miyuki asked while raising a brow.

"I was hoping for a homer, not gonna lie."

Miyuki huffed as he pulled his chest guard on, letting Sawamura help with his shin guards as per usual.

"I'll make sure to deliver." Miyuki stated, smirk growing. "For now, focus on their next batter."

0_0_0_0

Haruichi bounced on his toes, working on exerting some of the on field anxiety as he waited for the first pitch. The pinklet watched as Miyuki's fingers signaled the first pitch, followed by Sawamura's nod of acknowledgement.

The second baseman cracked a small smile as he watched the batter scrutinizing his friend from the batter's box.

 _I'd love to see Eijun's pitches from the batter's point of view._

0_0_0_0

Miyuki glanced up at the scoreboard. Seido was starting their at bats for the fourth inning. Maezono was stepping up to the plate just as Mukai let the rosin bag fall to the dirt.

"Still waiting for that homer."

Miyuki rose a brow as Sawamura leant up against the dugout railing next to him.

"I mean, I know there was no one on base for your last at bat, but striking out is just embarrassing." Sawamura continued.

 _When did you get on such a high horse?_

"That would be insulting, had it come from someone who knew how to bat." Miyuki stated before cracking a smirk.

"I made a beautiful bunt last inning!" Sawamura declared, whirling around to focus on Miyuki.

"Our idiot has to have some sort of talent, don't you think?" Miyuki's smirk only grew as he watched his pitcher simmer.

The battery's attention was grabbed when the crowd exploded with cheers. They focused back on the game, watching as Maezono successfully made it to second base before turning to the dugout with a raised fist.

"Maezono!" Sawamura cheered.

Miyuki glanced at Sawamura out of the corner of his sports glasses.

 _Why is it that I'm so drawn to you?_

"What is it?" Sawamura asked, suddenly feeling Miyuki's eyes on him.

"Hm?" Miyuki asked, snapping out of his reverie. "I was just wondering how an idiot who can't even hit made it to such a prestigious school as Seido." Miyuki stated.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi rolled his shoulder as he made his way towards his position for the fifth inning. He glanced towards Haruichi out of the corner of his eye. At a quick glance, it was easy to miss the small black bags under the petite second baseman's eyes as he too, took his position on the field.

 _What, Furuya isn't treating you well?_

Kuramochi scoffed before focusing on Meazono as he chucked practice grounders to the infield players.

0_0_0_0

 _Two outs. Bases loaded and cleanup up… I don't like this._

Seido's captain watched as his pitcher used his shoulder to wipe away the sweat that had built up on his forehead before readjusting his baseball cap.

 _He's exhausted… I want this out as soon as possible_.

"Focus on the batter Sawamura!" Miyuki heard Kuramochi shout.

"We've got your back Eijun!" The pitcher's best friend followed up with.

 _I want to jam their cleanup batter if we can.. Get the team's moral back up… I can't just let all of Eijun's work die on the field like this_.

Miyuki's gaze fell on his clearly troubled southpaw's eyes.

 _Don't worry. I'm right here. I'm leading you, give me your best pitch! We'll take him out together!_

Miyuki spread his arms out wide, indicating for Sawamura to throw his best pitch. His smirk resurfaced as his favorite golden eyes filled with determination.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura watched as Miyuki spread his arms out, giving him the same trust that he himself put into his catcher. The southpaw couldn't help but smile as his determination broke through his doubt.

The Teito batter didn't even matter anymore, all he could see was Miyuki's glove as he wound up.

Seido's southpaw whipped his arm down, launching his favorite moving fast ball down from the mound, screaming towards the plate.

Of course, no one would have expected what came next. One second Sawamura was throwing his best pitch towards Miyuki's glove, and the next, he was withering in pain as his right wrist exploded with pain.

"Sawamura!"

"Eijun!"

"Shit!"

Collective shouts were being screamed as the pitcher opened his eyes, vision swimming with tears. The baseball rolled away on the ground, it's little momentum taunting him as he stumbled towards it before throwing it towards Miyuki for the out at home.

Teito's runners all froze as Miyuki caught the ball and stepped on the plate before chucking his glove, along with his catcher's mast on the ground and dashing towards the mound.

Sawamura had plopped himself on the ground, his glove laying forgotten in the sand beside him as he cradled his wrist.

"Talk to me, how bad?" Miyuki asked as he fell next to the pitcher.

He reached towards the southpaw's wrist, only to widen his eyes as Sawamura recoiled from his touch. Sawamura's breathing was heavy as he tried to suppress the tears falling down his cheeks, though the attempt was in vain.

"Ice. Right away!"

Miyuki looked up to see Kataoka right behind him, bending down to assess the southpaw. The field was surrounded with nothing but a dark aura as Seido's team worried for their lovable idiot.

0_0_0_0

Kawakami had been sent out after both the coach, along with some medics had taken Sawamura off the field. The boy had been driven to the hospital immediately, no ifs, ands or buts to be heard.

"Catcher change."

Miyuki looked up numbly as Kataoka stepped out of the dugout, grim expression in place.

Seido's catcher, captain and cleanup batter had let three pitches go right by him. Even though Teito hadn't managed to score off of them, it was simply inexcusable to play so poorly.

Miyuki passed Ono silently, even as the second string catcher pat him on the bat.

"I'll finish this." Ono promised, giving Miyuki a look that the captain hated the most.

Miyuki clenched his jaw as he sat on the bench, chucking his helmet in the corner of the duggout. He leant forward, letting his fringe cover his view.

"Miyuki…"

The assistant manager was trying to be gentle. He knew all too well that it was not her fault, though he couldn't help but let some anger seep through his words.

"Not right now Rei." He said, his voice as dark as his aura.

 _Damn it…_

Miyuki chewed on the inside of his cheek.

 _Damn it…_

The catcher clenched his fists.

 _Damn it all to hell!_

Miyuki stood, leaving the the dugout.

0_0_0_0

Kataoka watched as Miyuki beat himself up. He knew, without a doubt, how much pressure he had put on the captain's shoulders. When Rei stood to follow after the catcher, Kataoka rose his arm, effectively stopping her before simply shaking his head.

Miyuki was a difficult character to deal with, this was all too clear in Seido's coach's eyes.

"Let him cool off."

0_0_0_0

"Kazuya."

Miyuki's eyes widened as he heard his name. That voice, one he almost never got to hear, and yet, he knew so well. The catcher bit down into his cheek, effectively drawing blood.

"Dad."


	27. Chapter 27

**heavy content, viewer** **discretion advised**

 **Anime4us**

 **Chapter 27**

"You seem upset."

Miyuki felt his annoyance boiling at his father's nonchalant tone.

"My pitcher just potentially broke his wrist, why wouldn't I be?" The catcher snapped.

"It's your own fault." The older man stated with a sigh.

"Excuse me?" Miyuki practically growled.

"Watch your tone with me."

Miyuki resisted the urge to step back as his father sent a cold glare in his direction.

"You panicked out there, didn't you Kazuya?" His father stated before raising a brow.

"What are you talking abou-"

"You panicked when faced with loaded bases. How pathetic." Miyuki's father had the gall to chuckle lightly.

Miyuki clenched his fists, anger radiating off of him in waves.

"You rushed that call. Instead of assessing the many different plays that you could have called for. Even if conceding a point was the end result, you could have walked the Teito batter. Your pitcher wouldn't be in the hospital right now."

Miyuki felt as though his father's words were piercing him with each syllable.

"But instead of doing your job as a catcher, and assessing every aspect around you, you not only failed in calling the right play, but you failed as a captain as well. Look at you. Standing out here while the second string catcher has to clean up your bloody mess."

Miyuki's eyes were squeezed shut as he tried to block out his father's words.

"You're team put their trust in you and look where it got them. A member in the hospital and a useless catcher on the bloody side lines. What a joke. What am I even paying for?"

"Shut up." Miyuki hissed, his temper boiling.

"What did you say to me?" His father demanded, pushing up off of the small equipment shed.

"I said shut up!" Miyuki growled. "I'm so tired of trying to impress you! Why are you even here!?"

"I have the right to see what I'm paying for. Apparently it's not even worth it."

Miyuki started to laugh, watching as his father's gaze turned from anger to scrutinizing him.

"What's so funny Kazuya, do enlighten me."

"You're hilarious dad." Miyuki spat, his laughter falling flat as he fixed his father with an unamused expression. "To see what you're paying for? Is that all this is?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about Kazuya."

Miyuki's fingernails were digging into his palms as both he and his father exchanged words.

"Why are you here? You've never cared before."

"I'm a busy man Kazuya."

"Right. How could I forget that I wasn't worth your time?" Miyuki scoffed.

"You know this isn't what we're talking about right now." His father stated while narrowing his eyes.

"Why not, if you can state my flaws, why don't we start listing yours off shall we? You're a horrible father. I wouldn't be surprised if you couldn't remember my birthday."

"You better stop talking boy. This is extremely disrespectful."

Miyuki scoffed at his father's words before continuing.

"Ever since mom died, I've lost both my parents. I had to practically raise myself on envelops of money you left on the bloody counter. Eventually those stopped to, didn't they? Did you think I would just disappear because you wanted me to? That I would just stop coming back?"

"Kazuya. Enough." Miyuki's father said warningly.

"Oh, have I hit a sore spot dad? Something I shouldn't have said? What you don't seem to get is that when mom died, so did you." Miyuki spat. "And not only did you lose her, I lost her to."

Miyuki stumbled back, his sports glasses hitting the gravel before his father's angry pants became distinguishable.

"Unbelievable." Miyuki stated, a smirk with no humor behind it painting itself across his lips. "That's the one thing you had left going for you and you just threw it away. I had a sliver of respect left for you… and you just shattered it in thirty seconds flat."

Seido's catcher wiped his cheek with the back of his hand before turning his back towards his father.

"Get back over here." His father demanded.

"What, so you can hit me again?" Miyuki asked as he bent down to pick up his sport's glasses. "Ah… I'm going to need a new pair." The catcher mumbled to himself.

"What the hell?"

Miyuki glanced back to see Seido's second string third baseman.

"Kanemaru."

It didn't take a rocket scientist to put the scene in front of them together, especially with how red the right side of Miyuki's face was.

Kanemaru could cut the air around the three of them with a knife as he walked towards Miyuki.

"Let's head back to the dorms." Kanemaru said before forcing a smile.

Miyuki's father looked less than ready to agree, though unfortunately for the older male, Miyuki had nothing more to say to him.

0_0_0_0

"Are you ok?" Kanemaru asked as Miyuki walked along him silently.

"Why wouldn't I be ok?"

Kanemaru's eyes did a quick once over, noticing just how tense his captain still was.

"Rei is gonna head to the hospital in an hour."

Kanemaru didn't miss how Miyuki's jaw clenched at the mention of the hospital.

"She wanted me to tell you."

"Thanks." Miyuki stated before heading towards the stairs.

His reply was terse, though Kanemaru was expecting it. Almost everyone was aware of the relationship that the pitcher and catcher shared, so it was no wonder Miyuki was so stressed.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi wasn't in the best of moods. He was barely focusing on the game as the ball passed him by and flew towards left field. It was something he could have easily fielded had his mind been in the game. Not only had Sawamura gone and gotten himself put out of commission, Miyuki had been a zombie the second the pitcher had been directed off the field.

The inning was over when Seido managed to get the third out, though Teito had a four point lead that Kuramochi couldn't bring himself to care about.

"I don't want to continue playing anymore…"

The shortstop glanced towards the petite second baseman. Haruichi was staring at the ground, face grim as the team's aura wafted around them.

"It's no fun anymore… What if it's really bad?"

"Stop that." Haruichi looked up in surprise as Kuramochi snapped at him. "They would want us to continue playing. Don't you think Sawamura would be upset to see the bloody slump we've put ourselves in right now? Not to mention Miyuki would kick our asses."

The whole team was staring at Kuramochi as he spoke.

"Miyuki has it worse than any of us do.." Someone muttered.

"Then why are you moping? Why don't we try and win this game, bring the good news to both him and Sawamura instead of a loss."

0_0_0_0

"I'm very sorry that this has happened… And in a practice match no less… I do not believe there is much to gain out of finishing this game…"

Kataoka listened to Teito's coach speak before nodding.

"I understand. I do not blame you. Baseball is a sport played at a very quick pace. Unfortunately, our pitcher learnt that the tough way today… Either way, the first four innings were very good game experience for my team, I appreciate you making the commute to come all the way here."

Kataoka put his hand out to shake the Teito coach's hand, small smile in place.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki's catcher's equipment lay all over his dorm room floor. He'd discarded them in half rage half annoyance as he slammed the door behind him. The room was a blurry mess in front of his eyes and he couldn't help but laugh.

 _This is fucking great. My whole life is a bloody sad metaphor._

Seido's captain grabbed the small, hand held, black case that sat on his nightstand, opening it before putting the black rimmed pair of glasses on. His vision cleared immediately, allowing him to locate his bathing stuff before leaving the room.

Miyuki's mind was in a dark place as he opened the doors to the boy's bathing area. He set his stuff down before pulling his shirt off. He finished undressing, placing his glasses on top of his clothes before stepping into one of the showers.

 _It's your own fault._

Miyuki's hands found the cool wall as the shower rained down on his head and shoulders.

 _You panicked._

Seido's captain fingers curled in against the wall.

 _Even if conceding a point was the end result, you could have walked the Teito batter. Your pitcher wouldn't be in the hospital right now._

Miyuki pulled back and punched the wall in front of him, trying to release some of the pent up frustration he had built up.

 _I did rush that call. It's my fault that he's in the bloody hospital… what was I thinking?_

"Damn it!" Miyuki hissed as he shut the water off.

The catcher wrapped a towel around his waist before heading back to where he'd left his stuff. He put his glasses on before grabbing his toiletries and heading to the washroom area of the bathing house.

He stood in front of the mirror as he spread shaving cream along his jaw line and lower neck. Seido's catcher pulled out his razor, slowly beginning to shave away the cream, along with the whiskers under it.

 _Get back over here._

Miyuki flinched as the memory of his father's hand flashed across his eyes. Once he was focusing on his reflection once more, he couldn't help but notice the small cut he had inflicted on his cheek. It was nothing serious, it was barely even bleeding, a small slip of the finger. But even as Miyuki rationalized with himself, he couldn't help but yearn for more. Yearn for the feeling of the blade slicing across his skin, cutting flesh instead of the gentle pace he kept up to shave his face.

Miyuki's fingers seemed to twitch with anticipation as he forced himself to finish shaving his face before washing it.

 _What are you waiting for?_

Miyuki paused as he dried his face, looking at his blurry image in the mirror.

 _You want to do it don't you?_

Miyuki could feel his arms tensing up with anticipation.

 _Kazuya!_

Images of the catcher's southpaw flashed through his mind. Times they had spent. The rough times that they had overcome. The smiles they had shared. The secret kisses and then the not so secret ones.

 _Even if conceding a point was the end result, you could have walked the Teito batter. Your pitcher wouldn't be in the hospital right now._

The images of Sawamura smiling and calling out to him shattered, only to be replaced with the tear stricken face that Miyuki had seen seconds after he'd made the call for the moving fast ball.

It wasn't small. It wasn't one. It wasn't shallow. Miyuki felt his arms going numb, reveling in the feeling that followed. It was nothing. He stumbled slightly, his legs given out on him. The catcher found himself on the floor, the sound of the running tap coming in and out of focus as his vision darkened around the corners.

 _This is the best anyways. I didn't deserve the happy act that I was playing. Dad was right… I fucked up… What I failed to tell him was that… Even though he died alongside mom… So did I…_

0_0_0_0

Haruichi had his toiletries under his arm as he made his way towards the bath house that the Seido baseball team shared. He hadn't been the least bit surprised when the coach had called the game, though perhaps he was a little disappointed.

Kuramochi had managed to not only turn his determination back on, but turn the team's momentum around with a couple words alone.

 _His words still have such a heavy effect on me…_

The pinklet thought as a sigh left his lips. He pulled his shirt off before his stomach turned unhappily.

 _Damn… I don't think I've eaten anything today…_

Haruichi put his shirt beside his toiletries before making his way towards the washroom, his stomach fairly upset. The pinklet turned to walk into the bathroom, not expectation the scene that unfolded in front of him.

Haruichi couldn't stop the bile that clawed its way up his throat as his eyes landed on the scarlet that ordained the bathroom.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi nearly jumped out of his skin when Haruichi threw his door open.

"Yoichi!"

Kuramochi was about to snap at the pinklet when he saw his ashen face stained with tears. The shortstop quickly crossed the room, grabbing Haruichi's bare shoulders as the boy caught his breath.

"What happened? Where's your shirt?..." The second question came out a little more awkward.

"Miyuki…" Haruichi couldn't speak, he was panting too hard.

"Kazuya what, Haruichi? Talk to me!" Kuramochi demanded, his annoyance leaking through.

"Bath… so much blood…"


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Miyuki leant up against the wall, far away from the gurney in the middle of the room, with a crowd of doctors surrounding it. His head was pounding as he tried to make sense of the scene in front of him.

"He's lost too much blood…" Someone muttered.

"We can bring him back." Another said with determination.

"Doctor…"

"There must be a reason he chose this root…" Someone else muttered.

"Enough! We're not here to determine the ifs and buts about the attempted suicide, we're trained to save lives!"

Miyuki was chewing the inside of his cheeks as he listened to the words being spoken.

 _This doesn't make any bloody sense…_

Miyuki just couldn't comprehend the scene in front of him. No one had noticed his presence, not that he'd really made a move to make it known.

"This isn't possible…" The catcher muttered as he caught a glimpse of a person only he himself knew so well.

Miyuki got up, leaving the room to find his answers.

"I want to know how he's doing! Tell me!"

The catcher knew that voice all too well. He turned towards the southpaw, a small smile making its way to his lips until his eyes landed on the boy. His heart fell as he saw the sling wrapped around said southpaw's shoulders.

"We all wanna know how Kazuya's doing Sawamura…" Kuramochi muttered.

Miyuki walked towards the waiting area that everyone was sitting in. He didn't fail to notice the close proximity that both Kuramochi and Haruichi were sitting in.

"Eijun…" Miyuki muttered, reaching towards his pitcher.

All he wanted to do was hold him in his arms. Whether it was to comfort the pitcher or himself, he had no idea, but the idea was soon squashed when his hands passed right though the unsuspecting southpaw's body.

When Sawamura shivered somewhat, Miyuki recoiled.

"Look… I know you're worried, hell, we all are… Just… Yelling about it won't change anything…" Kuramochi stated.

Miyuki was staring as his hands wide eyed.

"Why can't I touch you?" He asked, as if Sawamura would answer. "Yoichi. I'm right here." Miyuki stated, waving his hand in front of the shortstop's face.

"He'll be ok… right?" Haruichi whispered.

Miyuki took in the second baseman's appearance. His features were even paler than usual, making the bags under his eyes that much darker.

"He's tough… He'll pull through it…" Kuramochi whispered, silently slipping his fingers into one of Haruichi's shaking hands.

"Guys. I'm right here! Quit joking around." Miyuki was starting to get desperate.

"We'll be heading back now. The rest of the team will be wanting updates on both Sawamura and Miyuki's conditions." Kataoka said as he stood up.

Miyuki watched as Rei stood beside him, face set with grim lines. He watched as Kuramochi stood, helping balance Haruichi as they walked.

"I'm staying." Sawamura stated.

"You're operation is in the morning." Rei said, his lips pressed together in confusion.

"With Kazuya." Sawamura cleared up. "I'm not gonna make him do this alone."

The southpaw then turned on his feet and made his way towards one of the chairs that was just outside of the room Miyuki had just come from.

Miyuki made his way towards the chair beside Sawamura's, his legs shaking with each step.

"He's gonna be fine. I know he'll be fine…" Sawamura muttered to himself.

Miyuki watched the tears that brimmed his southpaw's eyes. It physically pained him to watch the boy he loved so much in so much pain. He hated that he couldn't reach towards the boy in front of him. He couldn't whisper comforting words in his ear, he couldn't tease him, to coax him from shedding tears for his sake.

"Damn it Kazuya… Don't you dare leave me alone…"

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi jumped slightly when Haruichi's head fell on his shoulder. The two Seido players were sitting in the back seat of Kataoka's car while the owner himself drove with Rei in the passenger's seat.

The shortstop didn't bother pulling away. He could feel the small trembles that were passing through the second baseman's body as the members in the car spent the drive silently.

 _He found Miyuki… he was the one that saw it first. That would scar anyone… Is he going to be ok?.. Mentally?_

Kuramochi got out of the car, Haruichi right behind him as Rei rolled her window down.

"It's late… Try and get some sleep. We'll let everyone know in the morning." The assistant manager stated before offering a small smile as Kataoka pulled away to park the car.

Kuramochi nodded before turning and walking towards the Seido dormitory. Eventually, he heard feet falling into step behind him. As the infielders got closer to the dorms, Kuramochi decided turning in without a word would be far too awkward.

"Goodnight Kominato."

He didn't see the way that Haruichi stumbled, just barely catching himself, though the second baseman's following words surprised him.

"I didn't kiss him." Haruichi muttered softly.

Kuramochi glanced over his shoulder, eyes narrowing somewhat.

"What?"

"I didn't kiss him…" The pinklet repeated before putting his head in his hands. "I didn't kiss him, I wanted to apologize to you… I didn't text you so that'd you would walk in on that."

Kuramochi chewed on his bottom lip as the tears became evident in Haruichi's voice.

"I want to believe you Kominato… I want to believe you so bad… But I'm not going to disregard what I saw… You weren't pushing him away…" Kuramochi's fingers curled into fists as he spoke.

"I need you to believe me…" The pinklet pleaded, pulling his hands away from his face. "I would never cheat on you Yoichi… I love you so much…"

Kuramochi felt his heart speeding up and cursed it angrily.

0_0_0_0

"But Furuya-"

"Furuya kissed me… We both know the crush he has on me. I didn't push him away because I couldn't. I was frozen in shock." Haruichi was rushing his words, as if at any moment, Kuramochi would disappear. "I was telling him about going to see you when he push me up against the tree. I couldn't think, much less move… And then you showed up… You were so mad… I couldn't get a word in edgewise… I just… I want you to know that it's not what you think it is… I want you to know that I'm not the type of person to-"

Haruchi's eyes widened when he was forced to stop talking. The long and elaborate explanation he had been brooding over for hours on end had been thrown aside in mere seconds as Kuramochi's arms wrapped around him and pulled him closer. The poisonous memory that had hurt the two so much was forgotten as Haruichi's words were cut off.

Haruichi's eyes fell closed as Kuramochi deepened the kiss. Excess tears slipped down the pinklet's cheeks as his shaky arms slowly made their way to wrap around Kuramochi's neck. Haruichi couldn't help it as more tears followed the others.

As Kuramochi pulled back, the pinklet buried his head in his shortstop's shirt. Kuramochi's hold seemed to tighten around him.

"I'm sorry." Haruichi whispered.

"I'm sorry for not listening…" Kuramochi muttered.

Haruichi shook his head, biting his bottom lip before he spoke.

"I don't blame you… I don't know what I would have thought if I saw what you did…" The second baseman mumbled into Kuramochi's shirt.

"Sleep in Sawamura's bed tonight? It's going to be too quiet with him gone…" Kuramochi asked.

"I don't think I can fall asleep right now…" Haruichi admitted before sighing.

"Let's watch a movie or something… We need to unwind a little." Kuramochi let his arms fall from around Haruichi, and the pinklet couldn't help but miss their warmth.

0_0_0_0

Miyki watched Sawamura's knee bounce as the southpaw try to expend some of his pent up anticipation. Sawamura hadn't left that seat in three hours, not even to use the washroom.

"Common…" The southpaw muttered as he squeezed his good hand.

Miyuki's attention was grabbed when the door to his room opened, a doctor stepping out. Sawamura didn't hesitate in standing and walking towards the seemingly exasperated doctor.

"How is Ka- I mean, how is Miyuki? How is he?" Sawamura demanded.

The doctor seemed to be looking over Sawamura's head.

"Is there any family that I can speak to? A father or mother perhaps?"

Miyuki could feel his mood dampening.

"I'm here, tell me if he's alright." Miyuki watched with a frown as Sawamura's fingers clenched and unclenched.

"This information is for family members only… I apologize-"

"Please… Please just tell me if Kazuya's alright or not…" Sawamura begged.

The doctor showed the teenager in front of him a piteous look before speaking.

"He's lost a lot of blood, but whoever found him, found him almost right after the… attempt. We've stitched up what we could. It's up to him for now. It's out of our hands. The only thing we can do is keep an eye on him, and hope for the best."

Sawamura listened to the doctor before stepping back.

"The nurses are taking him to his room right now… I'll have one of them come and take you there once he's settled in." The doctor said before patting the southpaw's shoulder and heading down the hall.

"Was it my fault? Did I push him to do this?..."

Miyuki's body went rigid as these words fell from Sawamura lips.

"No. No. Don't you start thinking that. God no." Miyuki was pleading upon deaf ears.

"I'm so useless… I tell you I'm always here for you… But then I'm not when you actually need me…" Sawamura said before tears started rolling down his cheeks.

"Eijun. Please. It's not your fault. I would never…. Never because of you…"

"I'm supposed to make you smile… but instead all I do is hurt you…"

"That's not true…"

"You don't need someone that's going to drag you down…" The southpaw whispered.

"I need you! You're the only thing that keeps me going…" Miyuki could feel his stomach churning at his pitcher's words.

"Sir?... We've got Miyuki Kazuya in room B-326, if you'll just follow me, I can take you there right away."

Miyuki watched as Sawamura nodded numbly before following after the nurse. Of course, Seido's catcher fell into step behind him, not wanting the pitcher to be alone, even if he didn't know he was there beside him.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura thanked the nurse before shutting the door behind him. The light made Miyuki's face look ash stricken with how almost grey it was in contrast with the pale white sheets he was laying on and covered in.

"I'm so sorry…" Sawamura whispered.

The southpaw was fairly upset with how cold to the touch Miyuki's fingers seemed to feel as he brushed his good hand over them.

"I wonder if you can hear me…" Sawamura mumbled as he traced Miyuki's fingers with his own. "If you can, I want you to listen to me Kazuya… I want you to fight this… If not for yourself…Than let me be selfish… fight for me… I love you so much… How I managed to fall for such a sadistic demon catcher as yourself… I'll never comprehend… But I did… and the only thing you have left to do is to fight this… whatever this is… fight it for me… So I can tell you face to face, with both of our eyes open, just how you've managed to make me fall for you."


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29: Two months later**

Miyuki looked up when the door to his room opened, letting in the energetic southpaw he loved so much.

"Hey Kazuya, they should open the blinds for you in this place, it's so nice outside today." Sawamura said as he himself did just that.

Miyuki leant up against the wall, silent as always as the southpaw made his way towards the white bed in the middle of the room.

"I've been going to rehabilitation like usual." The southpaw started, though his smile slipped. "Looks like the ball hit my wrist just right… I can't play ball anymore…"

Miyuki's eyes widened. As Sawamura spoke, his gut twisted with guilt.

"It's not the worse outcome… I could have zero use of my wrist worse comes to worse…" Sawamura continued.

Miyuki could see the way the other was trying to convince himself and less tell him how his day had gone.

"Boss is letting me stay in the dorms… I guess I could take on being the manager with Nabe, help out where I can…" Sawamura continued before chuckling bemusedly. "This sucks… I wanted to smile when I walked into your room. Be overly loud like I have been for everyone else on the team. Did you know that Kuramochi has kicked me at least four times in the last three hours?"

Miyuki had a frown on his face as he watched Sawamura biting into his lower lip.

"I want to smile but the only thing I keep thinking is that I wish you'd open your eyes… two months and nothing… not even a sign… I miss you so much… I even miss the way you'd call me an idiot when I did something stupid. Isn't that funny? I miss the way you'd rile me up… Because even though you were riling me up, your eyes were open at that point, and there was that stupid smirk that always painted itself across your lips…"

Miyuki fought the urge to reach towards the southpaw as he spoke. He watched as Sawamura fought the tears that threatened to fall.

The two boys jumped when a knock came from the door. Sawamura was wiping at his eyes quickly before the door opened to reveal Kuramochi and Haruichi.

Miyuki would get visits from the two of them from time to time. He wouldn't lie, he was happy that Kuramochi had someone to lean on. He regretted what he had done, if only for the sole reason of leaving Sawamura alone after it had happened.

0_0_0_0

"Eijun, Yoichi's taking us out for dinner." Haruichi said before breaking away from Kuramochi and making his way towards the quiet southpaw.

"Who says I'm paying for the idiot?" Kuramochi scoffed.

Sawamura turned around with a smile, the one he'd forced to his face so many times when the Seido players were around him.

"Where are we eating?" He asked, his voice seemingly more lively than when he had been talking to Miyuki moments ago.

"Haruichi said he wanted to try a sushi place down the street." The shortstop said before shrugging.

"Yea, I'm definitely game." Sawamura said before getting up. "I'll see you tomorrow Kazuya." He then said before brushing his fingers over the catcher's in a discrete matter.

Haruichi pulled Sawamura out of the room, exclaiming that he was starving and that it was definitely time to go.

"You better wake up soon dumbass…" Kuramochi said as he stepped into the hospital room. "I'm getting tired of seeing your idiot's fake smiles."

The shortstop than sighed before rubbing the back of his head.

"I'm talking to an unconscious person like he can hear me… Just… Hurry up…." Kuramochi muttered before shutting the door behind him.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki was watching the scenery outside of his window when he heard another knock at his hospital door. When it open he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Dad?.." He muttered, shock marring his features.

The older man stood in the doorway for what felt like hours before he pulled it closed behind him.

"I can't believe it came to this…"

Miyuki felt anger quickly surfacing from within himself.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" The catcher growled.

"I can't believe that I let it come to this…" the older man spoke softly as he made his way towards his son's hospital bed.

Miyuki had never wanted to punch someone so hard in his life. Unfortunately for him, even if he did, his fist would pass right through the man in front him, inflicting none of the pain he wanted the other to fell.

"The last time I was here… It was for your mother…" The older man said so softly that Miyuki almost missed it. "Now I'm here for my son… It's a rather cruel world don't you think Kazuya?"

Miyuki bristled as he stood beside his father.

"Why are you here? Acting like a bloody wounded animal. Get out of my room!" The catcher growled, wanting nothing to do with his father.

Of course, his words fell on deaf ears, and his father continued to mutter to himself.

"I was as home when a conversation both your mother and I shared came to mind."

Miyuki's fingers clenched and unclenched at his sides

"I was sitting here, like I usually would when I visited her. She would always be smiling, as if she wasn't in constant pain…"

"I don't want to hear this." Miyuki said as he pressed his hands to his ears.

"And she started to tell me of this experience she had. It was quite strange." Miyuki's father continued after having not heard Miyuki's pleas. "She was supposedly under anaesthetics, and therefore not conscious while the doctors attempted a new remedy to save her life. She told me that she watched the whole procedure, as if floating above the table as the doctors worked on her body… Ridiculous, don't you think?"

Miyuki squeezed his eyes shut, cursing the fact that his hands weren't blocking out his father's voice no matter how hard he pressed them against his ears.

"They call it an out of body experience… I didn't have the gall to tell her how impossible what she was telling me was… So I had simply smiled back then…"

Eventually, Miyuki's arms fell to his sides numbly, after not being able to block the noise.

"Point being… I remembered that conversation and was wondering… have you been watching yourself? This whole time?..."

Miyuki's eyes widened a fraction. He watched as his old man took a deep breath.

"Listen Kazuya… I've made some mistakes…"

"Really? I thought you were perfect." Miyuki spat.

"And I know that it'll be next to impossible to atone for them…"

"At least you know." Miyuki muttered angrily.

"But I can at least try to explain myself… Not excuses… I just came to understand them myself recently.." His father mumbled as he sat in the chair beside Miyuki's bed.

"Did you know? You have your mother's eyes… God… You're the spitting image of her, luckily." His father chuckled softly. "But… Unbeknownst to me… I started to push you away because of that…" His father's smile fell as he spoke. "I know I can't just fix it by saying sorry… I just… I wanted you to know, that it was a huge mistake that I've come to realize."

Miyuki was chewing on his cheek as his father spoke.

"So, it took me being hospitalized for you to realize your idiocies?"

"These past two months… they've been hell… I couldn't even think of coming to visit you… The last thing I had shared with you was a slap to face… All you were trying to do was make me realize something that I was too blinded with anger and remorse to understand… And for that Kazuya, I'm sorry."

Miyuki stumbled back on his feet somewhat, eyes wide with surprise. If there were two words that he'd never expected to hear from his father, 'I'm sorry' were definitely them. He never expected his father to admit to any faults he saw in himself. As he spoke, Miyuki couldn't help the way his stomach flip-flopped, nor the tears that seemed to claw at his eyes.

He watched as his father wiped his face, the creases that ordained his features becoming all too clear as he did so.

"I was trying to bring you up to be able to fend for yourself… To not need to rely on others… And I've come to realize that that wasn't what you needed… You needed your father… and he wasn't there for you… I may have helped in bringing you here, but I was no father to you Kazuya… I distanced myself from you when Clara died and I'm so sorry that I did…"

Miyuki didn't move to stop the tears that slipped down his cheeks.

Miyuki's father jumped when his son's monitor started making noise. He looked up to see an aggravation in the otherwise normally calm beeping. He stared at the monitor before the sudden realization that he should call a nurse hit him hard.

Miyuki had never seen his father move as fast as he did when he got up and threw the door open, demanding that a nurse come to his son's room immediately. The catcher flinched when he felt an almost sort of gravitational pull towards his hospital bed. The feeling scared him.

 _Am I dying? What does this mean? Am I never gonna get to see Eijun again?.. I'm not ready to die._

Miyuki watched as a couple of nurses flooded into his room, expressions neutral as they crowded around his motionless body.

 _Please don't let me die here…_

0_0_0_0

Sawamura sat on the right side of the booth as Kuramochi and Haruichi shared a seat on the left side.

"It's on me so don't worry about it." Kuramochi said as the menus were put out in front of them.

"Are you sure Kuramochi, I don't mind covering my own bill." Sawamura said as he opened the menu in front of him.

"I'm sure, as long as you don't eat their whole kitchen out, I should be able to cover the bill." The shortstop joked as he looked through his own menu.

After a couple of suggestion thrown to each other as they read the menu, the trio finally ordered, setting the menus down before starting up conversation.

"So, Eijun, you had a physio meeting for your wrist today right?" Haruichi asked with a smile. "How is that going?"

Sawamura's smile faltered before he was able to pull it back up. This didn't go unnoticed by the second baseman.

"Doctor says that playing baseball isn't in the foreseeable future." Sawamura said before chuckling to hiding the pain. "Ah this sucks… I wanted to take you guys to the finals…"

Haruichi frowned as Sawamura avoided eye contact.

"Damn…" Kuramochi muttered under his breath.

"I'm so sorry Eijun…" Haruichi said, a frown on his face. "I know how much baseball meant to you…" The pinklet mumbled.

"It's fine." Sawamura said, waving his hands in front of him. "I've already talked to Boss about it, I'm going to see if Nabe will take me on as a co-manager."

Kuramochi showed a small smile as Sawamura spoke.

"I'm sure he'd be glad to." The shortstop stated with a smile.

As the meal progressed, Sawamura's smile became less forced and more real as Kuramochi cracked jokes. The trio laughed together, enjoying the meal before they agreed it was time to get back to the dorms.

It was 7:43 when Sawamura's phone started to go off. The trio were walking down towards the bus station as he pulled it out and answered the call.

Haruichi watched as his best friend's smile grew.

"Are you serious?!" He demanded overly loud.

Kuramochi glanced towards the pinklet, earning a shrug as Sawamura spoke on the phone.

"I'll be there right away!" Sawamura than hung up and pocketed his phone before starting to run down the street.

Both Kuramochi and Haruichi's eyes widened before they attempted to run after the boy.

"Oi! Sawamura!" Kuramochi called out, clearly confused.

"What's happening Eijun?" Haruichi called out.

"It's Kazuya! He opened his eyes!" The energetic southpaw shouted before speeding up.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Miyuki saw nothing but white for the longest time. He kept blinking in an attempt to clear his vision, though it didn't seem to work. As he continued to blink something covered the bright white in front of his eyes.

"Kazuya! Oh my god."

Miyuki's hearing came into focus as time passed. He attempted to speak but his throat was much too dry.

"Thank god."

Miyuki looked down as he felt a weight on his chest. Even without his glasses, he knew exactly who was hugging him so desperately. Slowly but surely, the catcher brought one of his arms up and let it fall onto Sawamura's back.

"You're such an idiot."

Miyuki could tell that his southpaw was crying from the way his voice wavered.

"I…. know." Miyuki managed to whispered, his voice not wanting to listen to him.

"You suck so much."

"I know…" The catcher stated, a small smirk surfacing.

"I love you so much… you bloody demon catcher."

"I love you to." Miyuki found talking to get easier as he continued to try.

Sawamura lifted himself up off the catcher's chest and leant towards his face.

"I've been waiting for you to be awake to do this." The southpaw whispered.

Sawamura pressed his lips against Miyuki's, gingerly at first, and then a little more desperately as time elapsed.

Someone coughed into their hand, effectively startling the two baseball players from their reverie.

Miyuki couldn't hide the smirk that surfaced on his lips as Sawamura's cheeks engulfed with a blush.

"Oi, Kazuya. You got some nerve." Kuramochi huffed.

"It's good to see you awake Miyuki." Came Haruichi's polite greeting.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura had so much energy he didn't know what to do with it. The southpaw bounced his leg in an attempt to expend some of the pent up energy he had stored up. Being there as Miyuki seemed to orient himself was next to discovering gold in his eyes.

"I can see how antsy you are just by looking at you."

Sawamura chewed his lower lip as he looked towards Miyuki.

Kuramochi had nominated both himself and Haruichi to go buy something to drink to commemorate Miyuki's return to the living world.

"I could run around the baseball field a thousand times with the amount of energy I have…" The southpaw muttered as he sat on the edge of his catcher's bed.

His back was to the catcher, as he took a deep breath.

"You wanna know something weird?" Miyuki ventured.

"I donno Kazuya… Your weird and my weird can be two very different things…" The southpaw stated, glancing over his shoulder.

"I remember it. I remember it all." Miyuki stated before sighing heavily.

"You're not making any sense."

"The two months that I was supposedly in a coma? I could hear every word that every single person said when they came to visit…" Miyuki said before setting his gaze on Sawamura.

"Oh my god… He's gone insane…"

Miyuki's brow twitched with annoyance before he spoke.

"Your wrist. You shattered it and the doctor said you can't play anymore."

Miyuki rose a brow as the southpaw's expression went from worry to surprise as the words left his lips.

"There's no way.."

"My dad too… He came to visit me…"

Sawamura watched as Miyuki's mood dampened, instinctively feeling the need to reach out and comfort him.

0_0_0_0

"I fucked up… so bad…" Miyuki mumbled.

The catcher started when Sawamura's hand cupped under his cheek.

"Do you hear that?"

Miyuki narrowed his eyes, trying to listen to what the first year could possibly be talking about at the moment, though quickly became annoyed as nothing reached his ears.

"I don't hear a thing." Miyuki stated.

"Listen harder." Sawamura stated with a huff.

"There's nothing to be heard." Miyuki stated with a huff of his own, annoyed with the way Sawamura was deterring the conversation.

"And people call me dense." The pitcher stated with a tiny smirk, only managing to tick Miyuki off further.

Miyuki didn't try to evade the kiss that the southpaw pressed to his lips, nor did he pull his hand away when Sawamura lifted it to touch his chest.

"Can you feel that?"

"You mean your heart convulsing? You must really have the hots for me." Miyuki stated as a smirk grew on his lips.

Sawamura rolled his eyes before speaking again.

"I can hear yours. Do you know what that means Kazuya?"

"You have super hearing?" The catcher drawled, looking rather bored.

"It means there's a machine you're hooked up to asshole." Sawamura stated before scoffing at Miyuki's growing smirk.

"Was there a point to this?"

"I was going to say it means you're alive idiot." Sawamura said before pressing his forehead on Miyuki's shoulder. "It means your eyes are open and that you can see me."

"If you want to get real technical, I saw you every single day you visited." Miyuki offered with a lopsided grin.

"You make it so hard to be sentimental." The pitcher grumbled.

"Maybe it's because I don't like being sentimental."

"As I've come to know very, very well Kazuya." The pitcher stated before sitting up. "Push over." He then demanded.

"What? This is a single bed." The catcher stated while raising a brow.

"Push. Over."

"Where's my please?" Miyuki could only chuckle as Sawamura's brow twitched.

"How in the hell did I fall for the devil in disguise?" The southpaw grumbled.

"I donno, I hear he's pretty good looking. Only from word of mouth though."

"He's also an idiot."

"I've heard that as well."

"A masochistic idiot."

"Alright, I deserved that one."

"A really massive dickish idiot."

"Alright, I have feelings too idiot." Miyuki stated, brow raising with slight annoyance.

"And yet, I still end up loving him."

"This is really gooey, I'm sinking." Miyuki stated with a shit eating grin.

"I'm considering using a pillow to suffocate you."

"Love you too." Miyuki stated, feigning surprise.

"Mh…." Sawamura turned away from the catcher as he sat on the bed, glaring at the heart monitor in front of him.

"It's not gonna randomly blank out." Miyuki stated casually.

"You mean like you did?" Sawamura threw back.

The catcher's eyes widened slightly at his southpaw's words.

"I know what I did was wron-"

"Do you Kazuya? Did you know that Haruichi is just now starting to get over the nightmares of how he found you in that bathroom? Did you know that I still have those nightmares, despite not having been the one to find you in that washroom? I commend Haruichi for being able to find someone to find you… My legs would have probably given out on me…"

Miyuki pressed his lips together as the southpaw spoke.

"I was so scared… and I didn't even know what happened. Going through the day asking myself why it was that my boyfriend went and did what he did. Hoping against all hope that it wasn't me that pushed you to being hospitalized."

The pitcher stiffened when Miyuki slipped his arms around his waist and pressed his face into his neck. Miyuki felt tears dripping onto his neck, along with hearing the sounds of Sawamura's soft hiccups.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault." Miyuki's voice was muffled by the southpaw's neck. "I saw my dad after the game… We said some things… I just lost it…" The catcher continued.

He frowned as he listened to Sawamura's slightly labored breathing as he tried to force himself to calm down.

"I've never taken it this far before…" Miyuki continued softly, trying to sooth the southpaw beside him. "And if I'm being totally honest with you right now, I never want this to happen ever again." The catcher whispered.

The room was washed over in silence as the two boys simply rested in each other's company. As time passed, Miyuki began to wonder if his southpaw had fallen asleep on him. He was proven wrong when said boy spoke.

"At least we can agree on that…" The southpaw stated before turning his body so that the two of them were facing each other. "You're not allowed to scare me like that ever again, hear me?" The pitcher stated, his voice in between horsed and severe.

Miyuki showed the energetic southpaw a soft smiled.

"Yea… I promise…" He whispered as he let his eyes fall shut, relaxing next to his pitcher.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi ordered himself an iced coffee after having ordered Haruichi's favorite drink.

"That was pretty smooth assistant captain." Haruichi stated, small smirk in place as he wrapped his fingers around the warm drink on the counter.

"It's been two months, I'm almost certain they won't be leaving each other's side for a solid day at least. Better for the both of us if we leave them alone for a while."

"I don't have to lose you for two months to want that." Haruichi stated before pecking the unsuspecting shortstop's lips.

"If you keep doing that we're gonna be charged with some seriously offensive charges." Kuramochi stated quietly, smirk growing as the pinklet's cheeks became just as rosy as his hair.

"Don't go saying that in public." The pinklet reprimanded, though the pink, splattered cheeks did nothing to help in him sounding assertive.

"Blame yourself." Kuramochi stated, small smirk growing as the pink in Haruichi's cheeks only managed to darken.

0_0_0_0

"I'll be back." Sawamura said as he stood.

Miyuki cocked his head in question before the southpaw smiled softly.

"Washroom." The boy stated before sliding the door closed behind him.

The catcher leant back into the hospital mattress, soft sigh leaving his lips as he relaxed. A buzzing sound grabbed his attention in the rather silent room. Glancing to the side, Miyuki's eyes landed on what he presumed to be the southpaw's phone.

Reaching out towards it, he flipped the screen open, wanting to call someone. He knew the number by heart, though he almost never used it. It was an emergency contact that he would never call unless it was rather important.

The catcher pressed the phone to his ear, listening to the dial tone as the phone processed his call. The phone rang three times before the person on the other end picked up, answering with a short greeting.

"Hello?"

Miyuki took a deep breath before speaking.

"Hey dad."

 **IT'S OVER T_T**

 **Well, here's a tidbit,**

 **originally I was gonna have a super depressed ending in which Miyuki passed away.**

 **Good news is,**

 **A sequel idea had manifested** **and I am happy to state that I will be starting that as soon as I feel creative :D**

 **Thanks for sticking with my mess 3**

 **Anime4us**


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